i'm headed in the wrong direction..i NEED to turn around...
That's it. It's become worse and worse as the year progresses. This is not LMS anymore, it's Ocean Lakes High School--the Math and Science Academy. And it has become quite obvious that I'm just not naturally cut out for this school, as everyone else seems to be. It is the most challanging and stressful thing that I have ever done, and every single day I have extreme doubts about actually making it in this school. I'm lazy, I am most definately NOT smart, and I have no GOD DAMN FUCKING CLUE how I got into Ocean Lakes. But for once, I'm going to listen to my mom. I'm going to change my dumbass, fucking lazy and slack-off self. Because I can't take it anymore. And I have made a mental note to change many times this year, but this time I have snapped and I mean it, I AM GOING TO CHANGE. For some people, smartness comes naturally. I'm going to have to work harder than ever. And I will. Because I can't stand having borderline Cs in every fucking class. Since I've already destroyed everything again this quarter, my goals will be set a tad lower than they will be for the next semester. This quarter, I'll be perfectly satisfied with all Bs. Except Orchestra and Health/PE of course because those need to be As. Unless I'm dumbass enough to mess those up too. But anyways, next semester, I'm shooting for the impossible: all As. Getting all As was easy as pie in middle school, and I was getting quite used to it. But now, yes, I'm going for all As in this crazy magnet program. Anyone with me? I'm staying after everyday possible for Chemistry tutoring, I'm doing at least half of my algebra homework at home, instead of study block..I'm not going to procrastinate and I'm going to actually be organized, which I have also failed to do upon entering high school. And now that I've pissed myself off even more, I'm going to go and try to change myself from the un-smart-est person in the world to someone who can pull off the good grades..MY grades.