tres mal
My mother gave me this gay ass daily affirmation calendar thing that I didn’t throw away because one, she bought it for me when she was on her positive visualization kick when she was undergoing treatment for breast cancer and she really believes in that shit and I didn’t want to insult her doing such trying times, and two, because it helps me remember what day it is.
Today’s affirmation was another motivational nugget like, “Today I count all of my blessings.” I started the day “on the wrong foot” as they say and I actually paused for a minute (my tea kettle was hardcore whistling like, hey bitch your water hot! ) to think about the things I was happy about, but I don’t know if I was in the a mood to find fault with everything, but EVERY FUCKING THING I THOUGHT ABOUT HAD A NEGATIVE TO IT. Why is my life so shitty right now?
Things have been a variable of “shitty” for this past month. Big things - the growing dissatisfaction with my job… Little things - the plumbing in my bathroom is fucked and my landlord is my boss and I really want to leave work at work, running work-related errands today without realizing I had spaghetti sauce stains on my shirt…
But back to the good things... that um aren’t really good things…
Roller derby.
It’s so much fun, but right now I’m just at some crap plateau where I’m not improving on anything I’ve learned and I leave practices frustrated more than anything.
I went to Tampa this weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday and see Paranormal Activity 2 with him; after all, we’d seen the first one together.
I loved seeing a few Florida peepsters again, but it reminded me that my closest friends live nowhere near me which sucks.
I was able to afford a rental car to drive to Tampa and thus discovered the luxury that is driving in a modern vehicle. I was astounded at working A/C and cup holders, people. CUP. HOLDERS. Oh god, and cruise control. I used the shit out of some cruise control… The doors locked when you started the car, unlocked when you turned it off. Brilliant!
But fuck having to rent vehicles in the first place. I bought my car to be able to make long distance trips and she’s been doing a piss poor job of it. I’m a little sad the Interstellar 555 can’t live up to her true potential (she’s such an awesome car!) because I’m poor and can’t afford taking it to my mechanic, because at this point, she needs a mechanic. I thought I’d fixed the problem, but no, she was lurching this morning. We’re back to square one and if I’m right about what I think is wrong with it, I’m just not dropping the $1000 I’d spend for repairs.
Is there more? Yes. Yes there is.
Maybe I’ll save it for another ranty-riffic post. Maybe I’ll let that marinade and hopefully I’ll just get the fuck over it which I suspect is unlikely, but hey I tend to get over shit quickly. All I know is I’m tired of complaining because the point was to reflect on those blessings.
I’m alive, not so broke I can’t pay bills and I can afford living on my own and having some fun every now and again. There are good people in my world. I promised myself I’d make the best out of living in Savannah for the time being, and I haven’t given up on that and can honestly say at the very least I enjoy my weekends and downtime. Life has hiccups but I’m okay. It’s just hard to see that sometimes.
My life really isn’t some goddamn shitstorm and omfg I need my new episode of Storm Chasers please!
Today’s affirmation was another motivational nugget like, “Today I count all of my blessings.” I started the day “on the wrong foot” as they say and I actually paused for a minute (my tea kettle was hardcore whistling like, hey bitch your water hot! ) to think about the things I was happy about, but I don’t know if I was in the a mood to find fault with everything, but EVERY FUCKING THING I THOUGHT ABOUT HAD A NEGATIVE TO IT. Why is my life so shitty right now?
Things have been a variable of “shitty” for this past month. Big things - the growing dissatisfaction with my job… Little things - the plumbing in my bathroom is fucked and my landlord is my boss and I really want to leave work at work, running work-related errands today without realizing I had spaghetti sauce stains on my shirt…
But back to the good things... that um aren’t really good things…
Roller derby.
It’s so much fun, but right now I’m just at some crap plateau where I’m not improving on anything I’ve learned and I leave practices frustrated more than anything.
I went to Tampa this weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday and see Paranormal Activity 2 with him; after all, we’d seen the first one together.
I loved seeing a few Florida peepsters again, but it reminded me that my closest friends live nowhere near me which sucks.
I was able to afford a rental car to drive to Tampa and thus discovered the luxury that is driving in a modern vehicle. I was astounded at working A/C and cup holders, people. CUP. HOLDERS. Oh god, and cruise control. I used the shit out of some cruise control… The doors locked when you started the car, unlocked when you turned it off. Brilliant!
But fuck having to rent vehicles in the first place. I bought my car to be able to make long distance trips and she’s been doing a piss poor job of it. I’m a little sad the Interstellar 555 can’t live up to her true potential (she’s such an awesome car!) because I’m poor and can’t afford taking it to my mechanic, because at this point, she needs a mechanic. I thought I’d fixed the problem, but no, she was lurching this morning. We’re back to square one and if I’m right about what I think is wrong with it, I’m just not dropping the $1000 I’d spend for repairs.
Is there more? Yes. Yes there is.
Maybe I’ll save it for another ranty-riffic post. Maybe I’ll let that marinade and hopefully I’ll just get the fuck over it which I suspect is unlikely, but hey I tend to get over shit quickly. All I know is I’m tired of complaining because the point was to reflect on those blessings.
I’m alive, not so broke I can’t pay bills and I can afford living on my own and having some fun every now and again. There are good people in my world. I promised myself I’d make the best out of living in Savannah for the time being, and I haven’t given up on that and can honestly say at the very least I enjoy my weekends and downtime. Life has hiccups but I’m okay. It’s just hard to see that sometimes.
My life really isn’t some goddamn shitstorm and omfg I need my new episode of Storm Chasers please!