no sign of tuesdays
friday is the tybee beach bum parade, which i have never been to and it sounds super fun. it seems as if you just assault every one around you with water balloons, super soakers, and just about anything else that ensures the delivery of water to a person. and get drunk. i'm looking forward to it, but hope little money is involved. i am so broke!
i've been holding off on posting my In the Blood review (you know, that shit movie i mentioned here) because it's gonna dissapoint you guys. but here it is:
In the Blood (2006)
First of all, let me just say that this is hard to do. I don't know where to begin. I guess my stumbling block is the fact that I have never in my life seen a horror movie that dismisses the devices of the genre so casually, without a nod or quick glance in their direction. I'd call it down right arrogance, except for the fact that this film didn't know what it wanted to be AT ALL. The film makers weren't sure if they were making a horror film, a suspense thriller, or a gay romance with a twist. All of these efforts were diluted to the point where I can't even say it was half-assed. What I watched was pathetic. It was bad, but bad to the point where you kind of felt sorry for the film makers- as in, wow, you guys don't even know the basics u__u
I was completely thrown by how there was absolutely no attempt what so ever to try and create even the slightfest feeling of fright. Can you even do that? Can you throw that out the window? You don't have to go for "The Big Scare" (some horror movies are incredible for creating a consistant feeling of tension or uneasiness throughout) or try to pack in as many boo moments as possible, but there should be something in the air.
And it's not like there was nothing to work with! There were three brutal rape/murders on the campus- the film didn't even try to get the jump out of the audience with gore. When a character stumbled upon a dead body, she might as well have found a fucking puppy. -___-
The main character's (Cassidy) psychic visions are accompanied with nosebleeds. Okay fine, but we get desperate attempts to make the nosebleeds dramatic and worthy of painfully long shots using dodgy camera work. Not fine.
I've picked apart the horror aspect of the film, but what about the basics, any good sex scenes? What about the shit that matters?
The film takes place at a college and it would be believable if the characters weren't soaked in the awkwardness and cliche dialogue of high school. I was never sold on who these folks were supposed to be.
The gay bit. Now this is where the film could have redeemed itself. Every one knows that bad horror movies save themselves with gratuitous nudity, and unecessary sex. I was praying that this would be my ticket to salvation, that I'd be rewarded for sitting through this slop. That after more spinning cameras trying to make uncool things look cool, exciting, and scary, I'd finally get what I'd been waiting for.
Instead, I'll reenact the moment - sex scene? What sex scene? Was that it? Rewind. Wait, what? (Anger sets in.) WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? - Major fucking cop out!
What I found interesting, is that lying in the middle of this miserable movie, was a gem- the main character's aunt. Now she was something else, jumping out of the bushes with the voice of a pygmy Stevie Nicks to warn her nephew of his sister's danger. She too had cognitive powers and had been stalking Cass. Like, seriously, stalking him to the point that it never occurred to her to just go to her niece and just warn the poor girl herself. I guess it was sooo important to say to Cass, "i see the future when i have sex," which was, btw, the BEST line in the movie.
The aunt was brilliant. She was a nut and I kind of wished the movie had been about this woman, cast out from the family, her despair... Hearing her words, "make it a pure sexual experience," while Cass is finally giving it up to a guy was the most terrorfying part of the movie!
So, I'm sorry kids, this isn't the hilarious pile of shit I thought it was going to be. :(
It was a bore.
i've been holding off on posting my In the Blood review (you know, that shit movie i mentioned here) because it's gonna dissapoint you guys. but here it is:
In the Blood (2006)
First of all, let me just say that this is hard to do. I don't know where to begin. I guess my stumbling block is the fact that I have never in my life seen a horror movie that dismisses the devices of the genre so casually, without a nod or quick glance in their direction. I'd call it down right arrogance, except for the fact that this film didn't know what it wanted to be AT ALL. The film makers weren't sure if they were making a horror film, a suspense thriller, or a gay romance with a twist. All of these efforts were diluted to the point where I can't even say it was half-assed. What I watched was pathetic. It was bad, but bad to the point where you kind of felt sorry for the film makers- as in, wow, you guys don't even know the basics u__u
I was completely thrown by how there was absolutely no attempt what so ever to try and create even the slightfest feeling of fright. Can you even do that? Can you throw that out the window? You don't have to go for "The Big Scare" (some horror movies are incredible for creating a consistant feeling of tension or uneasiness throughout) or try to pack in as many boo moments as possible, but there should be something in the air.
And it's not like there was nothing to work with! There were three brutal rape/murders on the campus- the film didn't even try to get the jump out of the audience with gore. When a character stumbled upon a dead body, she might as well have found a fucking puppy. -___-
The main character's (Cassidy) psychic visions are accompanied with nosebleeds. Okay fine, but we get desperate attempts to make the nosebleeds dramatic and worthy of painfully long shots using dodgy camera work. Not fine.
I've picked apart the horror aspect of the film, but what about the basics, any good sex scenes? What about the shit that matters?
The film takes place at a college and it would be believable if the characters weren't soaked in the awkwardness and cliche dialogue of high school. I was never sold on who these folks were supposed to be.
The gay bit. Now this is where the film could have redeemed itself. Every one knows that bad horror movies save themselves with gratuitous nudity, and unecessary sex. I was praying that this would be my ticket to salvation, that I'd be rewarded for sitting through this slop. That after more spinning cameras trying to make uncool things look cool, exciting, and scary, I'd finally get what I'd been waiting for.
Instead, I'll reenact the moment - sex scene? What sex scene? Was that it? Rewind. Wait, what? (Anger sets in.) WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? - Major fucking cop out!
What I found interesting, is that lying in the middle of this miserable movie, was a gem- the main character's aunt. Now she was something else, jumping out of the bushes with the voice of a pygmy Stevie Nicks to warn her nephew of his sister's danger. She too had cognitive powers and had been stalking Cass. Like, seriously, stalking him to the point that it never occurred to her to just go to her niece and just warn the poor girl herself. I guess it was sooo important to say to Cass, "i see the future when i have sex," which was, btw, the BEST line in the movie.
The aunt was brilliant. She was a nut and I kind of wished the movie had been about this woman, cast out from the family, her despair... Hearing her words, "make it a pure sexual experience," while Cass is finally giving it up to a guy was the most terrorfying part of the movie!
So, I'm sorry kids, this isn't the hilarious pile of shit I thought it was going to be. :(
It was a bore.