(no subject)
im scared for myself..ive been depressed for a while now but i never wanted anyone to kno but im sick of hiding myself..im sick of tryin to make myself happy when im not at all..im sick of everything certain friends, my school, my family..and im sick of goin through this alone..i just there could be someone i love..well i love God but i wish i was IN love with someone..ive been thinkin ALOT and reading which i never have done willingly before...but ive thought alot about the word perfect..what exactly is perfect..cause what do i mean when i say i want everything to be perfect...i guess perfect is like watching a kitten play in the grass,a kid flying a kite in the park,seeing your sister who lives far away for the first time in your life..just those simple things..but for me it seems the kittens lost ,the kites stuck in a tree, and the planes delayed...but each thing can still come back and im waiting for it...another thing ive thought about is what kinda gurl im lookin for anyway...so this is what ive thought of so far..and it mighty sound picky..but thats cause it probley is..ok i want a gurl i can talk serious about God with first of all..and i want to be able to talk to them and have them actually listen to me..and i will listen to them back..music is also a part of it..im not so strict about it though and if they drink or get high at partys and such then it is definatley a NO..i dont want them tryin to move in to fast cause i get very very uncomfortable when im put in that situation..but yeah ive been reading the book "perks of being a wallflower" and it is the best book in the world...i guess..its about a kid growing up in high school and he goes through things everyone goes through and anyone can relate to it...but the way it is written is like hes talkin directly to you so its very awesome and i highly recommend it just as someone recommended it to me..but yeah im gonne read some more thanks for taking the time to read this