7s_prompts prompt set 8.2.3 [quotes prompt]
3. "The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them." - Lois McMaster Bujold, Diplomatic Immunity
You’re annoyed with people and you're annoyed with life.
Mainly you're annoyed with people though, especially those who keep expecting you to break any minute now. You’ve lost count how many times someone has told you that it was perfectly normal to grieve in a situation like this. They all suggest finding someone to talk to, someone who is willing to listen and to offer some sort of comfort. It doesn’t even have to be anyone you know, if you prefer that. Sometimes you wonder though if it’s more their preference than your own. Not that you really want to talk about it though. Talking about it makes it real.
“Get it out, Claire.” -- Funny, they’re usually telling you to keep everything in because you’re too emotional.
“It’s okay, Claire. You’ll get through this.” -- Like you have a choice, you’re a freaking immortal.
“Just talk about it, Claire.” -- Doesn’t anyone get that you don’t want to?
“If you don’t want to talk, we can just sit here.” -- Oh yeah, because that sounds like so much fun. Awkward silent time is a go. As if everyone doesn’t stare at you like you’re a freak already.
It’s all you can think every time someone comes up with a new statement, a new encouragement for you to deal with what’s happened. But you don’t want to. You don’t want to deal with grief. You hate grief. You prefer anger because that’s a better emotion than anything they want you to feel.
When your mom got sick, you got mad at your dad. When you lost a friend, you got mad at your ability and the fact you were a freak. Every time someone lets you down, you prefer getting mad at them over trying to understand why or how they could have done such a thing. It’s what you do. You’re angry because it pushes you on, pushes you to survive every time you feel even the inkling to give up. It’s not just your ability that ensures you’ll get up every time. It just makes sure you’ll be in good shape when you do but it’s the anger that keeps you going and the people around you need to see that. They need to understand it even if they fear it.
There’s one person who will get it though.
He does because he understands you. He knows where you’re coming from most of the time, mainly because he’s coming from the same place. Especially now because it wasn’t just your baby that you lost, it was his too. That innocent little life had come from the both of you and someone saw fit to take it away. Sure, they hadn’t known any better but that wasn’t the point. They attacked you, you lost the baby and so it’s their fault more than anyone else’s. Being angry at them is safer than thinking about what’s been lost.
So you get up out of bed after spending a night alone in a cold hospital room. You’ve had more than enough time to realize you’re sick of the life you’re living. Someone needs to pay now and you know exactly who it is. You will never forget his face after all. You see it every time you close your eyes. You will remember the look of concentration. The wild hair that framed a weathered face and a cruel smirk, but, more than anything, you’ll always remember his eyes. His ice cold blue eyes were the last thing you saw before you fell and lost what could have been everything. Now you want to watch the light fade from his eyes and you know just the person to help you with it; the one person who will understand the blood lust and the need for revenge.
It doesn’t surprise you to see him sitting outside your room. You know he’s been there ever since they told him the news. You were aware of him, after all, but you never told him to come in. You needed time and he probably had needed it too. But that time is come and gone, and now you have a plan.
He can see the plan almost immediately as he rises to his feet, moving to wrap you up in his arms with a hold tight enough to let you know that he’s never letting go again. No matter where you go, he’s going to be there and that’s okay with you. Maybe sometime in the future you will get another chance but that’s the future and this is now. You have a plan now, remember?
Tilting your head back, you take a breath before speaking. “I want to find him and I want to kill him.” It’s just that simple and he gets it. When he smirks and nods, you do the same before hiding your face in his chest.
It’s nice to be understood.
wc: 816
[Sylar is heroslayer and is used with lots of love and permission. ♥]
You’re annoyed with people and you're annoyed with life.
Mainly you're annoyed with people though, especially those who keep expecting you to break any minute now. You’ve lost count how many times someone has told you that it was perfectly normal to grieve in a situation like this. They all suggest finding someone to talk to, someone who is willing to listen and to offer some sort of comfort. It doesn’t even have to be anyone you know, if you prefer that. Sometimes you wonder though if it’s more their preference than your own. Not that you really want to talk about it though. Talking about it makes it real.
“Get it out, Claire.” -- Funny, they’re usually telling you to keep everything in because you’re too emotional.
“It’s okay, Claire. You’ll get through this.” -- Like you have a choice, you’re a freaking immortal.
“Just talk about it, Claire.” -- Doesn’t anyone get that you don’t want to?
“If you don’t want to talk, we can just sit here.” -- Oh yeah, because that sounds like so much fun. Awkward silent time is a go. As if everyone doesn’t stare at you like you’re a freak already.
It’s all you can think every time someone comes up with a new statement, a new encouragement for you to deal with what’s happened. But you don’t want to. You don’t want to deal with grief. You hate grief. You prefer anger because that’s a better emotion than anything they want you to feel.
When your mom got sick, you got mad at your dad. When you lost a friend, you got mad at your ability and the fact you were a freak. Every time someone lets you down, you prefer getting mad at them over trying to understand why or how they could have done such a thing. It’s what you do. You’re angry because it pushes you on, pushes you to survive every time you feel even the inkling to give up. It’s not just your ability that ensures you’ll get up every time. It just makes sure you’ll be in good shape when you do but it’s the anger that keeps you going and the people around you need to see that. They need to understand it even if they fear it.
There’s one person who will get it though.
He does because he understands you. He knows where you’re coming from most of the time, mainly because he’s coming from the same place. Especially now because it wasn’t just your baby that you lost, it was his too. That innocent little life had come from the both of you and someone saw fit to take it away. Sure, they hadn’t known any better but that wasn’t the point. They attacked you, you lost the baby and so it’s their fault more than anyone else’s. Being angry at them is safer than thinking about what’s been lost.
So you get up out of bed after spending a night alone in a cold hospital room. You’ve had more than enough time to realize you’re sick of the life you’re living. Someone needs to pay now and you know exactly who it is. You will never forget his face after all. You see it every time you close your eyes. You will remember the look of concentration. The wild hair that framed a weathered face and a cruel smirk, but, more than anything, you’ll always remember his eyes. His ice cold blue eyes were the last thing you saw before you fell and lost what could have been everything. Now you want to watch the light fade from his eyes and you know just the person to help you with it; the one person who will understand the blood lust and the need for revenge.
It doesn’t surprise you to see him sitting outside your room. You know he’s been there ever since they told him the news. You were aware of him, after all, but you never told him to come in. You needed time and he probably had needed it too. But that time is come and gone, and now you have a plan.
He can see the plan almost immediately as he rises to his feet, moving to wrap you up in his arms with a hold tight enough to let you know that he’s never letting go again. No matter where you go, he’s going to be there and that’s okay with you. Maybe sometime in the future you will get another chance but that’s the future and this is now. You have a plan now, remember?
Tilting your head back, you take a breath before speaking. “I want to find him and I want to kill him.” It’s just that simple and he gets it. When he smirks and nods, you do the same before hiding your face in his chest.
It’s nice to be understood.
wc: 816
[Sylar is heroslayer and is used with lots of love and permission. ♥]