Leave Out All The Rest (fanfiction)
Don't be afraid // I've taken my beating // I've shared what I made // I'm strong on the surface // Not all the way through
The water was hot as she could stand it, her head tilted back as the water hit her hard, drenching her features and wetting her hair. She lifted her hand, rubbing it slowly along the side of her face, wiping away the blood. When she looked down, she could see the water tainted red, swirling around her feet and disappearing down the rain. She wondered briefly why everything couldn't just be washed away that easily. Turning slowly under the spray, she tilted her head back, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to wash the blood from her hair as well. Sliding her hand over her side, she pushed her fingers over the flatness of her stomach and turned back to face the water to continue washing the rest of the blood till she felt somewhat clean. Then she used the body wash and the facecloth, rubbing her skin till it was a bright, angry red. The irritation didn't last long, her skin went back to it's natural sheen almost automatically even when her nails bit into her skin a little.
Once she was dry, she pulled on a shirt and a pair of panties before climbing into bed. Laying on her side, she curled up with her pillow tucked into her stomach and she stared quietly into the shadows. She knew everyone was going to worry tomorrow, they were going to fuss that she had been attacked again and Bruce would tell her what happened was fine. She wouldn't shake the guilt though, especially with Hank who was now hurt a bit and agitated. Agitated enough that he had sworn at all of them. Something that the others were used to but she wasn't. It had hurt. Not that she wanted to admit that to anyone and she wasn't sure that she would. She had been warned that she would have to deal with his moods and his surliness. She had told them that he was a good guy and she believed it, she had told them she could handle it and so she would. She would suck it in and push it down, just like she did with everything else.
She had gotten a taste of what their lives were like, the boys at the S.H.I.E.L.D. and they had told her it was normal. It was to them and slowly, she hated to admit it, it was becoming normal to her. The constant battles, the wariness and the concern that someone was going to get hurt. She had never felt more useless in a long time, not since the night at Kirby when she couldn't do what Peter had asked her to do. Like the night at Homecoming when she couldn't save Jackie. What was she doing? She had no right to be in a war, she had no right to think that she was able to do this fight. Tony had said that he was a liability and that was what she was too.
It frustrated her because when had she become the Damsel in Distress? It started right from the beginning with that ridiculous saying "Save The Cheerleader, Save The World". Peter believed it was his destiny to save her and so he had nearly sacrificed himself to do so. He had jumped after attacking Sylar, taking them both over with no way of knowing if he would survive. If it wouldn't have been for the fact that he had absorbed Claire's powers, he would have died that night. And she couldn't even shoot him when it came time. Then there was her father who sacrificed himself over and over to save her. He had let himself be shot once and his mind erased so that she could go into hiding. Then he had put himself in the situation of being killed to save her then too. When they brought him back, he agreed to a deal that would make him their slave for the rest of his life just to save her once more.
She knew it was their choice to. Noah Bennet was her father, he would do it over and over again. Peter had done it because he believed he was right in doing so and he was meant to. Bruce had done it to save her and yes, maybe because he couldn't control it. But it was another person in the long list of people that saved her somehow.
Rolling onto her back, she closed her eyes as she tried to force herself to sleep.
It was no surprise that she was at the labs shortly after the sun came up. M1 and M2 thought that she was just sucking up because she was there a couple hours before they were. She didn't even look up when they stumbled in, late by twenty minutes and she didn't listen as they ribbed each other. They didn't even try to be quiet as they joked about Pym's Pet. She just sat at the computer, doing her job for the day as she ran different results and took the notes that she was meant to do. When they came back from lunch, they were a little quieter as they whispered but she heard enough to know they found out the events of the day before. After all, people had seen Claire when she came to the labs, all bloody.
She worked diligently and quietly, doing the job that she was hired to do. It was what she would focus on now and she wouldn't think about the rest. Staring hard at the screen, she didn't look at M1 as he lingered close a couple of times as though waiting for her to look up. She never did and eventually he left her alone.
When she left, two hours after they left an hour early, she took her car to the carwash. She spent an hour the night before cleaning the blood from her seat and now she was making sure everything was clean all anew. She didn't want to get it dirty or stained, not after Tony had bought it for her and sent Pepper to pick it up. When she was done, she went home, making herself some soba noodles and eating at the table before cleaning up.
In her room, she sat down on the bed and stared at her phone for a moment. She wanted to call Pym to make sure he was okay or even Bruce but Pym had told her once before not to be a nag. So she lifted the phone to her bedside stand and she laid down on her side once more. She went to sleep thinking about how this was supposed to be normal, an every day sort of thing.
Funny, it made her sort of want to cry.
The water was hot as she could stand it, her head tilted back as the water hit her hard, drenching her features and wetting her hair. She lifted her hand, rubbing it slowly along the side of her face, wiping away the blood. When she looked down, she could see the water tainted red, swirling around her feet and disappearing down the rain. She wondered briefly why everything couldn't just be washed away that easily. Turning slowly under the spray, she tilted her head back, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to wash the blood from her hair as well. Sliding her hand over her side, she pushed her fingers over the flatness of her stomach and turned back to face the water to continue washing the rest of the blood till she felt somewhat clean. Then she used the body wash and the facecloth, rubbing her skin till it was a bright, angry red. The irritation didn't last long, her skin went back to it's natural sheen almost automatically even when her nails bit into her skin a little.
Once she was dry, she pulled on a shirt and a pair of panties before climbing into bed. Laying on her side, she curled up with her pillow tucked into her stomach and she stared quietly into the shadows. She knew everyone was going to worry tomorrow, they were going to fuss that she had been attacked again and Bruce would tell her what happened was fine. She wouldn't shake the guilt though, especially with Hank who was now hurt a bit and agitated. Agitated enough that he had sworn at all of them. Something that the others were used to but she wasn't. It had hurt. Not that she wanted to admit that to anyone and she wasn't sure that she would. She had been warned that she would have to deal with his moods and his surliness. She had told them that he was a good guy and she believed it, she had told them she could handle it and so she would. She would suck it in and push it down, just like she did with everything else.
She had gotten a taste of what their lives were like, the boys at the S.H.I.E.L.D. and they had told her it was normal. It was to them and slowly, she hated to admit it, it was becoming normal to her. The constant battles, the wariness and the concern that someone was going to get hurt. She had never felt more useless in a long time, not since the night at Kirby when she couldn't do what Peter had asked her to do. Like the night at Homecoming when she couldn't save Jackie. What was she doing? She had no right to be in a war, she had no right to think that she was able to do this fight. Tony had said that he was a liability and that was what she was too.
It frustrated her because when had she become the Damsel in Distress? It started right from the beginning with that ridiculous saying "Save The Cheerleader, Save The World". Peter believed it was his destiny to save her and so he had nearly sacrificed himself to do so. He had jumped after attacking Sylar, taking them both over with no way of knowing if he would survive. If it wouldn't have been for the fact that he had absorbed Claire's powers, he would have died that night. And she couldn't even shoot him when it came time. Then there was her father who sacrificed himself over and over to save her. He had let himself be shot once and his mind erased so that she could go into hiding. Then he had put himself in the situation of being killed to save her then too. When they brought him back, he agreed to a deal that would make him their slave for the rest of his life just to save her once more.
She knew it was their choice to. Noah Bennet was her father, he would do it over and over again. Peter had done it because he believed he was right in doing so and he was meant to. Bruce had done it to save her and yes, maybe because he couldn't control it. But it was another person in the long list of people that saved her somehow.
Rolling onto her back, she closed her eyes as she tried to force herself to sleep.
It was no surprise that she was at the labs shortly after the sun came up. M1 and M2 thought that she was just sucking up because she was there a couple hours before they were. She didn't even look up when they stumbled in, late by twenty minutes and she didn't listen as they ribbed each other. They didn't even try to be quiet as they joked about Pym's Pet. She just sat at the computer, doing her job for the day as she ran different results and took the notes that she was meant to do. When they came back from lunch, they were a little quieter as they whispered but she heard enough to know they found out the events of the day before. After all, people had seen Claire when she came to the labs, all bloody.
She worked diligently and quietly, doing the job that she was hired to do. It was what she would focus on now and she wouldn't think about the rest. Staring hard at the screen, she didn't look at M1 as he lingered close a couple of times as though waiting for her to look up. She never did and eventually he left her alone.
When she left, two hours after they left an hour early, she took her car to the carwash. She spent an hour the night before cleaning the blood from her seat and now she was making sure everything was clean all anew. She didn't want to get it dirty or stained, not after Tony had bought it for her and sent Pepper to pick it up. When she was done, she went home, making herself some soba noodles and eating at the table before cleaning up.
In her room, she sat down on the bed and stared at her phone for a moment. She wanted to call Pym to make sure he was okay or even Bruce but Pym had told her once before not to be a nag. So she lifted the phone to her bedside stand and she laid down on her side once more. She went to sleep thinking about how this was supposed to be normal, an every day sort of thing.
Funny, it made her sort of want to cry.