muses_creative prompt fourteen [quote prompt]
"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away." - Meredith Gray in "Grey's Anatomy"
It's not fair but since when is life fair?
You're supposed to be happy because things are falling into place in your life. You've got someone who loves you, who loves everything about you and you love him back. You're planning on getting married in October, the ring on your finger says that he asked and you said yes. You've even looked at dresses, for yourself and your bridesmaids. Yes, it's probably jumping the gun a little bit but you can't help it. It's all supposed to be perfect and happy; you're supposed to be focusing on the good things.
Like the fact that you got a letter saying you're accepted into the fall semester of NYU, something that you haven't shared with everyone yet but you will soon. There's just so much to tell and celebrate.
It's all supposed to be perfect but it isn't.
It's the nightmares that keep coming back. It's not like you're not expecting them, they like to get really bad sometimes and there are days where they come all the time. Every time you lay your head on the pillow, they're there and they're ready to shatter whatever calm you've been trying desperately to hold onto.
He's there.
He's still laughing, a dark and rough sound that haunts you a little and causes chills to run down your spine every time you hear him laugh. It doesn't matter that he's dead, that he's actually a pile of ashes somewhere because right now he's very real in your head. He's cruel as he digs his nails into your shoulders, causing you to whimper as your own fear makes him stronger. He takes what you're feeling, twists it around and uses it against you. At one time you used your fear like he did, you used it to make you stronger but now it's breaking you as he cracks the bones in your shoulders under the weight of his hands. It hurts and you can't stop the sounds as you crumple a little, driven to your knees just as he intended.
It doesn't matter that he kills you because you both know that you'll always come back. You're tired of feeling your blood splash over his hands but you can't stop him, you're just too weak after all. So all you can do is take it; take the blows to the face and your body. You can only try to swallow back the screams that he so desires as he breaks you over and over till the pain is blinding and overwhelming. Like white hot lava over your nerves and you swear that's enough to kill you all on its own.
You want someone to save you but you're not sure they're coming, you're not sure they'll ever find you.
But then it's not his hands on your shoulders, shaking you a little harder as the fear comes through his voice instead of your own. The monster fades into another face as your eyes snap open, your whole body trembling as your heart is pounding violently against your rib cage. You try to calm yourself, dragging in gasping breaths of air as you blink rapidly to see through the tears as you focus on the man staring at you with wide and scared eyed.
He's scared because he's never heard you scream like that, like a wounded animal. He's worried and in pain because he sees something in your eyes and he wishes he can take it away. Young girls like you aren't supposed to have scars like that, you're never supposed to be that scared and that wounded with memories of what had been done to you.
You notice that his dark hair is mussed, ruffled this way and that. His eyes, a dark hazel color, are tired and a little red which meant he had been drinking a little bit even though you can't smell the booze on his breath. Instead, he smelled like mint which meant he was careful to brush his teeth before he went to bed. After all, he has gotten good at covering his once problem that could cause him more if people knew that he was still drinking more than he should. It's not all the time but he still drinks, he will probably never fully quit but you don't mind. You just keep an eye on him except this time he has his eyes on you.
You're surprised when you whimper because it's not fair; you're not supposed to be like this. You're not supposed to be having these kinds of nightmares because you're supposed to be happy. Frustration and the remaining emotions from the nightmare drive you to tears and he's there, tugging you close to hold you. You're not sure what he's murmuring but you don't care, you just need to hold on and take in his strength. You never wanted him to see this side of you, you never wanted him to see you covered in a fine sheen of sweat and with tears on your cheeks. You never wanted him to hear you scream as someone killed you in your dreams.
"It'll be okay." He tells you and for a minute you want to believe him but you're not sure.
In truth, you're surprised he's there and yet you know that you shouldn't be but you are. As he holds you to chase away the shadows, you start to calm and you start to feel safer. He's not going to leave you now, he's going to stay there even after you've gone back to sleep...if you can manage to. He's going to protect you now and he's going to chase off everything that haunts you.
You look at him and realize it's the first time you've seen him this way. It's not going to change how you view the other man in your life who shares a similar role but maybe you can make enough room now to see them both the same role. The other one is still your hero and he's your dad for all intents and purposes.
But tonight, as you look at the man who is soothing you, you realize it.
You look at him and you finally see something that surprises you.
You see him as a father.
It's not fair but since when is life fair?
You're supposed to be happy because things are falling into place in your life. You've got someone who loves you, who loves everything about you and you love him back. You're planning on getting married in October, the ring on your finger says that he asked and you said yes. You've even looked at dresses, for yourself and your bridesmaids. Yes, it's probably jumping the gun a little bit but you can't help it. It's all supposed to be perfect and happy; you're supposed to be focusing on the good things.
Like the fact that you got a letter saying you're accepted into the fall semester of NYU, something that you haven't shared with everyone yet but you will soon. There's just so much to tell and celebrate.
It's all supposed to be perfect but it isn't.
It's the nightmares that keep coming back. It's not like you're not expecting them, they like to get really bad sometimes and there are days where they come all the time. Every time you lay your head on the pillow, they're there and they're ready to shatter whatever calm you've been trying desperately to hold onto.
He's there.
He's still laughing, a dark and rough sound that haunts you a little and causes chills to run down your spine every time you hear him laugh. It doesn't matter that he's dead, that he's actually a pile of ashes somewhere because right now he's very real in your head. He's cruel as he digs his nails into your shoulders, causing you to whimper as your own fear makes him stronger. He takes what you're feeling, twists it around and uses it against you. At one time you used your fear like he did, you used it to make you stronger but now it's breaking you as he cracks the bones in your shoulders under the weight of his hands. It hurts and you can't stop the sounds as you crumple a little, driven to your knees just as he intended.
It doesn't matter that he kills you because you both know that you'll always come back. You're tired of feeling your blood splash over his hands but you can't stop him, you're just too weak after all. So all you can do is take it; take the blows to the face and your body. You can only try to swallow back the screams that he so desires as he breaks you over and over till the pain is blinding and overwhelming. Like white hot lava over your nerves and you swear that's enough to kill you all on its own.
You want someone to save you but you're not sure they're coming, you're not sure they'll ever find you.
But then it's not his hands on your shoulders, shaking you a little harder as the fear comes through his voice instead of your own. The monster fades into another face as your eyes snap open, your whole body trembling as your heart is pounding violently against your rib cage. You try to calm yourself, dragging in gasping breaths of air as you blink rapidly to see through the tears as you focus on the man staring at you with wide and scared eyed.
He's scared because he's never heard you scream like that, like a wounded animal. He's worried and in pain because he sees something in your eyes and he wishes he can take it away. Young girls like you aren't supposed to have scars like that, you're never supposed to be that scared and that wounded with memories of what had been done to you.
You notice that his dark hair is mussed, ruffled this way and that. His eyes, a dark hazel color, are tired and a little red which meant he had been drinking a little bit even though you can't smell the booze on his breath. Instead, he smelled like mint which meant he was careful to brush his teeth before he went to bed. After all, he has gotten good at covering his once problem that could cause him more if people knew that he was still drinking more than he should. It's not all the time but he still drinks, he will probably never fully quit but you don't mind. You just keep an eye on him except this time he has his eyes on you.
You're surprised when you whimper because it's not fair; you're not supposed to be like this. You're not supposed to be having these kinds of nightmares because you're supposed to be happy. Frustration and the remaining emotions from the nightmare drive you to tears and he's there, tugging you close to hold you. You're not sure what he's murmuring but you don't care, you just need to hold on and take in his strength. You never wanted him to see this side of you, you never wanted him to see you covered in a fine sheen of sweat and with tears on your cheeks. You never wanted him to hear you scream as someone killed you in your dreams.
"It'll be okay." He tells you and for a minute you want to believe him but you're not sure.
In truth, you're surprised he's there and yet you know that you shouldn't be but you are. As he holds you to chase away the shadows, you start to calm and you start to feel safer. He's not going to leave you now, he's going to stay there even after you've gone back to sleep...if you can manage to. He's going to protect you now and he's going to chase off everything that haunts you.
You look at him and realize it's the first time you've seen him this way. It's not going to change how you view the other man in your life who shares a similar role but maybe you can make enough room now to see them both the same role. The other one is still your hero and he's your dad for all intents and purposes.
But tonight, as you look at the man who is soothing you, you realize it.
You look at him and you finally see something that surprises you.
You see him as a father.