Can my friend get a ride?
So yes.
Like everyone,
I have irrational fears.
And I don't like them being tested.
by my own sister for that matter.
I don't like being judged.
I understand people will do that.
and I'm ok with it.
most of the time.
but high school messed me up.
the people were really cruel.
most of the time I really don't care what people think.
but anyone connected to my high school gives me bad vibes.
I didn't enjoy my time there.
and I know college is the great equalizer,
but I still can't have conversations with most of them.
its still awkward.
and I still feel like they see me as that awkward artist girl that nobody really liked.
and that makes me uncomfortable.
so why is it so irrational
that I wouldn't want to be stuck in a car
with someone from my high school
that I've never met
for 3 hours?
just the 2 of us?
My sister doesn't understand.
because these people are her friends.
but I don't want to be forced to make conversation
or have awkward silence
with someone I really don't know
for 3 hours.
just because he went to MG doesn't mean its ok.
but I said yes.
because I guess I have to get over it.
but I don't want to.
and I know it'll be really awkward.
and I don't want to deal with that.
I know I'm irrational.
but everyone has irrational fears.
but I don't want to be a bitch.
but my sister only calls me when she wants things.
and that pisses me off.
but I don't want to let her down.
I don't like being irrational.
but I can't help the way I feel.
so.
in summation.
today is another bad day.
I don't need this this week.
no no no no no.