It's late
Wow, I guess I was wrong about her! She dumped my ass. Like a month ago. Oh well, though. It's probably for the better. It's weird though, you know. One day you feel so close to that person you're almost inseperable. The next day or two or week or month, things feel detereriorated. She's made it clear she adores me, she loves me. Still, despite the break up. Yet, she's made it even more clear through subtle and blatant lies, that the best reason to leave is because it's long distance for the next few monthes. And when you're in college, promiscuity is the norm. Especially in Miami. No excuses. I can't fathom how ifi you're truly in love you'd just dump that person because you're not in the mood for a relationship. Yet, a few weeks later find a new lover who lives right next door.
Well, I can't say I'm not down about it. It sucks when that special bond is broken. It was deep with us. But, life happens. Especially college. I may have missed out on it so far, but I'd rather go to Israel to party, learn Torah, and travel... as opposed to bang loose college chicks. The whole experience seems degarding to the moral fiber of youth culture when combined with rap music and drugs. Arguably the intellectual spirit as well... for some people. But, I can't say sitting around and buying opiates is that much better.
So, to counter my addiction I've decided this money I have saved up I'm going to spend on several 10 ounce bars of silver as investments. Hopefully, this will speed up my ability to get my tickets to Israel so I can get out of this labryinth of hard drugs, thieves, liars and cheats. I need something fresh. Something new. Life experiences and lessons I'll never forget that will make me stronger. A fresh new love. Maybe I'll meet that right girl in my travels and take her back to the states. Who knows, right? I'll figure it out. There's something and someone out there for me. It'll be great. I know God has something great planned for me. I just have to make it happen. I think my lineage is that of Judah. That's a pretty damn good blessing to have that of kings. It seems the blessing runs in my family. My great uncle Jack Prager toppled the Indian government for it's unjust actions in the 80's. My cousin is Shirley Temple. My other cousin was a senator in Germany and helped free thousands of Jews from Auchwitz. My whole family is sucsessful for the most part and has made changes so great in society, it's hard to believe that right now I'm suffering from insomnia and opiate addiction not doing a damn thing with my life.
I don't know what the future has in store. I do however believe that if I walk a righteouss path and seek peace through God, then he will surely (I hope anyways) lead me to something great. It seems as though my bloodline has a blessed dominion and perhaps it's time I walk the right way to claim it and do good with it. Perhaps I'll get no blessing for my wrong doings, I can't say. It's all up to God. But, I do believe that if I do what is right, hopefully I'll atleast find a better life than what lies ahead the path I'm on now. Because, I know the path I'm on now is not a good one. But, I feel like I'm finally starting to really blaze my own trail. We'll see what is ahead.
All I know is I've got to go to Israel. I believe something awaits me there. Something beautiful and breahtaking. A spiritual thing. It's my calling. The things my entire family has accomplished and been through tell me it was only through understanding of God which brought then to such sucsess. In Israel, I believe it is there I will find out what I've got to do. Those who wish to come with me are welcome but must understand I'm going on my own mission. If anyone wants to come, they must understand that this is not intended to just be a fun trip. That's not what I expect, anyways.
Well, I can't say I'm not down about it. It sucks when that special bond is broken. It was deep with us. But, life happens. Especially college. I may have missed out on it so far, but I'd rather go to Israel to party, learn Torah, and travel... as opposed to bang loose college chicks. The whole experience seems degarding to the moral fiber of youth culture when combined with rap music and drugs. Arguably the intellectual spirit as well... for some people. But, I can't say sitting around and buying opiates is that much better.
So, to counter my addiction I've decided this money I have saved up I'm going to spend on several 10 ounce bars of silver as investments. Hopefully, this will speed up my ability to get my tickets to Israel so I can get out of this labryinth of hard drugs, thieves, liars and cheats. I need something fresh. Something new. Life experiences and lessons I'll never forget that will make me stronger. A fresh new love. Maybe I'll meet that right girl in my travels and take her back to the states. Who knows, right? I'll figure it out. There's something and someone out there for me. It'll be great. I know God has something great planned for me. I just have to make it happen. I think my lineage is that of Judah. That's a pretty damn good blessing to have that of kings. It seems the blessing runs in my family. My great uncle Jack Prager toppled the Indian government for it's unjust actions in the 80's. My cousin is Shirley Temple. My other cousin was a senator in Germany and helped free thousands of Jews from Auchwitz. My whole family is sucsessful for the most part and has made changes so great in society, it's hard to believe that right now I'm suffering from insomnia and opiate addiction not doing a damn thing with my life.
I don't know what the future has in store. I do however believe that if I walk a righteouss path and seek peace through God, then he will surely (I hope anyways) lead me to something great. It seems as though my bloodline has a blessed dominion and perhaps it's time I walk the right way to claim it and do good with it. Perhaps I'll get no blessing for my wrong doings, I can't say. It's all up to God. But, I do believe that if I do what is right, hopefully I'll atleast find a better life than what lies ahead the path I'm on now. Because, I know the path I'm on now is not a good one. But, I feel like I'm finally starting to really blaze my own trail. We'll see what is ahead.
All I know is I've got to go to Israel. I believe something awaits me there. Something beautiful and breahtaking. A spiritual thing. It's my calling. The things my entire family has accomplished and been through tell me it was only through understanding of God which brought then to such sucsess. In Israel, I believe it is there I will find out what I've got to do. Those who wish to come with me are welcome but must understand I'm going on my own mission. If anyone wants to come, they must understand that this is not intended to just be a fun trip. That's not what I expect, anyways.