Fuck your friends page.

Dec 17, 2007 23:29

If you are clothed, I can make you naked. If you are dead I can bring you back to life. If it is snowing, I can make everything on fire. If it is bright, dark. If colorful, dull. Clean, chaotic. Glowing dead.

Your workplace complaining is now Beethoven and I cannot hear it when I am shot in the head nor when I break his neck for doing so. I can yell words that would melt the dead skin off your face and it would look like I was sleeping. While you fellate your affair I will hear every moan and quiver , and I can make you sound like a monster of any age, shape or size I could come up with my imagination in this little world of mine. I've got a lot of time to myself, so that imagination is quite well-groomed.

Usually my face has a full field-of-vision face-visor over it, able to cast anywhere on the inside of the screen. The inside of the visor isn't a screen itself, but it is made up of a sheet of microscopic light-receiving cells. Digital projectors line the sides of the inside, projecting onto this highly receptive screen. This makes the face far more lightweight without the need to power individual cells. The material of the cells, a plastic, also adds to this weight advantage. The data is streamed from a computer that maps out the image, then disperses it around the light projectors that rim the inside of the visor. There are about 10,000 (and I say about because it will inevitably change over the next upgrade or two) of these projectors individually, each carrying 1/10,000th of the image that is to be projected on the screen itself. They then project that fraction onto the fraction of the screen (1/10,000th of the screen) that they are supposed to, and the photosensitive cells pick up which light (color, transparancy, etc.) goes into which cell. Each section that has a corresponding dedicated projector has a number of cells that changes every time I get an upgrade to this visor (or every time I buy a new one), but my last visor (which really is out of date, although I personally view it as a classic) has 8,192 projectors. The cell:projector ratio also changes often.

I have poretech-based audio transceivers between the interior and a layer on the exterior of my helmet. The rest  is close enough to a complete-body layer of sound-wave sensitive transcievers that physically amplify the sound to feel the sound, since my ears are too far away and confined to pick up everything audio-wise. With this I can actually feel the shockwaves and the slight audio vibrations that the rest of you can feel (such as a concert), since the suit is too heavy and dense to otherwise pick them up, but I am also able to do a number of things. First I am able to amplify my 'hearing' by increasing the vibration from what others normally feel to something larger (thus being able to feel sounds that one would otherwise be too distant to feel), and I am also able to cast the direction in which I want to feel the sounds, which can be different from the direction I choose to listen to in my helmet. I remember, while still working for the lab, that the first prototype of the poretech audio was only on the interior, and the exterior had a low number of strategically-situated receivers. The first tests were very strange. I would often pick up sounds coming from above me only to have my crotch vibrate. The weirdness eventually, and gradually, lifted, but I would still often get only half of a sound's shock-wave, or in a slightly-off place. It felt weird, take my word for it. With the exterior poretech audio I was able to make a more direct connection between the source and the re-emmision. I was able to feel more subtle forces, as the messages between receiver and emmiters wern't generalized.

Not all the prototypes had all the bells and whistles all in one suit. Some suits of the same mark focused more towards one technology so that the kinks could be worked out. Eventually they would come together into one form. I mention that because you have no idea, even with the synthetic muscle systems they could fit into the suit, how heavy the first iteration of the poretech version of the physical audio transceivers were. It was the receivers: there were so many of them and they were such new tech that each of them weighed x-too-many molecules, and collectively felt like wearing a sheet of iron. In the end they worked it out though, and it's just another lightweight layer (although technically it's two and a half, as there is the receiving layer near the exterior, the re-emmision layer on the inside, and the wires that pass through one of the traffic (power, data, etc.) layers in the suit). It's always about the weight, in the end.

After I retired from that job, I was unable to live without the armor. I had worked there for 16 years (20-36), and in the process generated a fair amount of holiday pay. Since my room and board was provided, and there wasn't much space/time/people to spend money on, I inevitably ended up saving, no matter how hard I tried to spend (but even that was hard to do: i'm too fiscal in nature). On special request I asked that I be given the currently out-of-date suit (i.e. the one right before a new version came out).

I was granted that.

They knew me too well. They knew it had become a part of me. They knew I would not seperate myself from it and that I would either die, be killed, or kill myself without it. Every shit I take, they know about. Everywhere I go and who I look at is known. The truth was they couldn't really afford to let me go. Even while not working for the company, I would still be testing their product. The suit records everything I do, which is directly linked straight back to them. Illegal actions directly alert the nearest security/police/military. In the end, I became a prisoner within my own prison.

However.

They cannot record what I think. This is the saving grace. It's also taught me to keep my vocal actions to a minimum.

I now work on an indepedent-contract basis for the high-risk investigations branch of a sibling comany. I no longer test prototypes, and receive final versions of marks. And yes, in case you were wondering, I am very good at my job. In the end, I love it no matter how trapped I am, no matter if I will always be in debt, no matter if I don't really have a choice, and no matter if I really am a completely human anymore. I do not answer to anyone, and those I choose to answer to me do not have a choice. If in my world there is only one entity, and if there is a God, then I am my world's God. And if I am a God in my world, then what does that make you? If you cannot control your environment nor even your mortality, and thus your thoughts, then what are you God over? If outside my world, God is as dead as he has proven himself to be, then that makes me the only God left, and if i'm the only God left then I am God himself, lord of everything I see, hear, and touch. I am the medium through which the two worlds connect, and so, I am God imprisoned.

Now. You've got one thing going for you. You have to decide if that's better or worse than a dead God.
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