yet another butt-kick moment (sort of)
Yesterday at work a man (we'll call him Mr. S) came in and needed some print-outs from a thumb drive. The USB contained 4 files with several documents in each file, and he wanted to print back and front pages (instead of just front) to reduce the volume in his binder. There were over 500 pages total, so, needless to say, it took a while to print. While the pages were printing he asked me about myself - in school? future plans? hometown? etc. When I mentioned that I went to Mountain Brook he said that I might know his son, Bob. I did remember him but not with fond memories. Then Mr. S told me that Bob had graduated from college, gotten married, and was attending seminary. I was shocked and replied that I had not thought Bob would attend seminary. Then Mr. S told me Bob was currently serving in the Pacific Rim area. More shock. I was dumbfounded... not because Bob was attending seminary and serving as a missionary. But because he was probably one of the last people I expected to do so. Whenever I was asked if I would date anyone from high school my immediate answer was "No," and I always thought of Bob as the first example of why/who I would never date. I considered him arrogant and stuck-up, a typical Brookie (that term being used in a derogatory manner).
Then it hit me, smack in the face. God can and will use whomever He so chooses. I had been judgmental and arrogant. I had underestimated God's power. I thought I was so high and mighty because of all I had done/ was doing for God. I was the righteous one, not him. What a Pharisee I have been. As soon as I got in my car to drive home I cried out to Him. All I could do was say how sorry I was for my arrogance. How can I continue to live my life the way I have been?
I write this now because I don't want to forget this feeling of being forced face down before my LORD begging for His forgiveness and mercy. I wish it weren't necessary because I know it hurts my Savior every time I deny Him. But I am human, filled with sinful, selfish thoughts. I know I will screw up again, but maybe next time I will run to Him at the first sign of trouble.
Then it hit me, smack in the face. God can and will use whomever He so chooses. I had been judgmental and arrogant. I had underestimated God's power. I thought I was so high and mighty because of all I had done/ was doing for God. I was the righteous one, not him. What a Pharisee I have been. As soon as I got in my car to drive home I cried out to Him. All I could do was say how sorry I was for my arrogance. How can I continue to live my life the way I have been?
I write this now because I don't want to forget this feeling of being forced face down before my LORD begging for His forgiveness and mercy. I wish it weren't necessary because I know it hurts my Savior every time I deny Him. But I am human, filled with sinful, selfish thoughts. I know I will screw up again, but maybe next time I will run to Him at the first sign of trouble.