What I have to look forward to
I haven't had to work with the "mean kids" since my first day... until tonight!!! I have an awesome 3 hour shift and my manager is my favorite person MEGAN and the other guy is Shane and I'm pretty sure they both want me to die.
It's kind of a self fulfilling prophesy for them; you see, when I know that someone believes I suck, I get terrible anxiety about trying not to suck around them and it makes me fuck up 10X more than I would if they hadn't blatently informed me that they are watching me and they will report anything I do wrong to Luke. Exept they'll exaggerate it a whole bunch.
See, the first two hour shift that I ever had I was being trained in by Megan and Shane. But mostly Megan. She had NO PATIENCE and she clearly hadn't trained anyone in before. If I fucked up on the register I would be like "Hey Megan, I messed up the register, here's what I did" and she would fix it but she wouldn't show me HOW she fixed it and she snapped at me at least once every 5 minutes. I would say something like "The register is out of ones" and she'd be like "what do you want me to do about it?!...." because she didn't have the combination for the safe apparantly. But how was I supposed to know that?
Then we had a little rush. The line was backed up with like 7 customers so Megan was like "do you want me to take over the till?"
Know what I said?
"Oh. No thank you."
So she tells LUKE, Isaac *and* Chance that I was "a bitch about following her direction and stuff". Never in my life have I come off initially as a "bitch" before. Not everyone loves me, but the people who don't like me feel that way because
*I'm slow
*I'm not as smart as they were expecting
*I'm "wierd"
*I said something wierd
*I'm too quiet so they don't know how I feel about them
*I drank too much
-so I was throwing up when they had to pee
-so I was throwing up and then they had to drive me home and they were scared
that I would throw up in their car
-so I was obnoxiously outgoing and/or acting drunk
*I told them I was on drugs and they are morally opposed to drugs even though it was just tylenol 3
But never in my life has someone disliked me because I'm a "bitch". Ouch!
At least Luke took what she told him with a grain of salt. Isaac actually believed that I was a bitch to her! He was like "Hey,Liz, next time Megan asks you to surrender the register, could you just do it?"
So I started saying "Isaac, I didn't know there wasn't more than one option ('cause of the way she worded it--as if she was offering and I could turn it down)" and he was like "nonetheless. Could you just do it? She knows when you're going too slow" so I teared up and told him that I'd already been repremanded for this *twice* so he apoligized for making me tear up. Of everyone I thought he would understand.
And NO I WAS NOT being that slow. Maybe she could have gone faster than me but it took me, what, 30 extra seconds per order? Maybe? Anyway, what I needed was practice and Megan standing right next to me making fries so she could help me if I messed up.. *NOt* on the standing on the other side of the store bitching about me to Shane. If she didn't want to "offend me" or "be mean" she could have just reworded what she said. It would have been a helluva lot less offensive than what I heard from Chance the next day:
"hey Liz, I heard you started working for Luke!"
"Yup."
"I heard you were a really big bitch about following direction and stuff"
"... wtf?!"
And Luke was sympathetic and he told me that he values me and he understands that it was a communication problem but if it's busy I should let one of the "big kids" do the register, not that he thinks I'm slow but please stop crying it's not his fault my uterus hurts.
I have to go to school otherwise I would keep writing.
It's kind of a self fulfilling prophesy for them; you see, when I know that someone believes I suck, I get terrible anxiety about trying not to suck around them and it makes me fuck up 10X more than I would if they hadn't blatently informed me that they are watching me and they will report anything I do wrong to Luke. Exept they'll exaggerate it a whole bunch.
See, the first two hour shift that I ever had I was being trained in by Megan and Shane. But mostly Megan. She had NO PATIENCE and she clearly hadn't trained anyone in before. If I fucked up on the register I would be like "Hey Megan, I messed up the register, here's what I did" and she would fix it but she wouldn't show me HOW she fixed it and she snapped at me at least once every 5 minutes. I would say something like "The register is out of ones" and she'd be like "what do you want me to do about it?!...." because she didn't have the combination for the safe apparantly. But how was I supposed to know that?
Then we had a little rush. The line was backed up with like 7 customers so Megan was like "do you want me to take over the till?"
Know what I said?
"Oh. No thank you."
So she tells LUKE, Isaac *and* Chance that I was "a bitch about following her direction and stuff". Never in my life have I come off initially as a "bitch" before. Not everyone loves me, but the people who don't like me feel that way because
*I'm slow
*I'm not as smart as they were expecting
*I'm "wierd"
*I said something wierd
*I'm too quiet so they don't know how I feel about them
*I drank too much
-so I was throwing up when they had to pee
-so I was throwing up and then they had to drive me home and they were scared
that I would throw up in their car
-so I was obnoxiously outgoing and/or acting drunk
*I told them I was on drugs and they are morally opposed to drugs even though it was just tylenol 3
But never in my life has someone disliked me because I'm a "bitch". Ouch!
At least Luke took what she told him with a grain of salt. Isaac actually believed that I was a bitch to her! He was like "Hey,Liz, next time Megan asks you to surrender the register, could you just do it?"
So I started saying "Isaac, I didn't know there wasn't more than one option ('cause of the way she worded it--as if she was offering and I could turn it down)" and he was like "nonetheless. Could you just do it? She knows when you're going too slow" so I teared up and told him that I'd already been repremanded for this *twice* so he apoligized for making me tear up. Of everyone I thought he would understand.
And NO I WAS NOT being that slow. Maybe she could have gone faster than me but it took me, what, 30 extra seconds per order? Maybe? Anyway, what I needed was practice and Megan standing right next to me making fries so she could help me if I messed up.. *NOt* on the standing on the other side of the store bitching about me to Shane. If she didn't want to "offend me" or "be mean" she could have just reworded what she said. It would have been a helluva lot less offensive than what I heard from Chance the next day:
"hey Liz, I heard you started working for Luke!"
"Yup."
"I heard you were a really big bitch about following direction and stuff"
"... wtf?!"
And Luke was sympathetic and he told me that he values me and he understands that it was a communication problem but if it's busy I should let one of the "big kids" do the register, not that he thinks I'm slow but please stop crying it's not his fault my uterus hurts.
I have to go to school otherwise I would keep writing.