Week 6 and 7 behind me. Bring on week 8. I can't believe it.
Week 6 and 7 updates! Huge differences between weeks 6 and 7. During week 6 I finally got my brain in the groove with memorizing and delivering postures in posture clinic. I was very happy to get in a rhythm. I knew what I needed to do in order to get the words in my head, how much time I needed, and what the results would be. This took away a lot of anxiety away from me, and I was able to relax and be myself while delivering. As much as anyone will ever relax in posture clinic. So that was week 6. A LOT happened in week 6. I just can’t remember how to explain it. My body was getting pretty tight in week 6, so my knees were giving me hell. I got a massage at the end of week 6 and week 7 went easier with the knees. 90 minute massage, the first one since I got here.
Week 7, posture clinics winded down. I know these posts are pretty much not doing my experiences justice, but fortunately I remember a lot of it in my head currently. Posture clinics finished, and the energy of everyone is starting to change. We’re realizing that this isn’t going to go on and on forever, and those of us with scheduled classes are also realizing that our first class is not that far away. More Bollywood videos, more late nights I predict are ahead, but so too are morning classes everyday with Rajashree, and evening classes again with Bikram every night. It’s hard to believe that at the end of week 7 here, we’ve completed 76 yoga classes. It’s odd how we all talk about it very nonchalant - very casual, about the amount of yoga we do. We also are all starting to sound like Bikram teachers, just the timber of how we talk in our conversations and how anything in everyday conversation turns into a line of dialogue. Now if only that shit will come out of my mouth for my first class, my second class, and every class for the rest of my life that I teach! Jeez.
It’s amazing. I’m emotional internally about having to leave, but really wanting to go home all at once. LA is a beautiful place regarding sunshine in October and November, (and rain, real rain) since the first time we got here. I am spending this weekend relaxing more than usual because I will be hitting my dialogue hard soon. My friends and I want to start practicing and stringing postures together, teaching each other mini classes with our spare time, instead of waiting until we get to our first classes to experience part of this.
I am just missing my regular life and occasionally getting sick of sharing a single hotel room with another person. She’s the best roomie I could ask for, but sometimes I want a normal fridge and and and and.
I miss my car, at this point also. I’m not pleased to be going home and to freeze either. Everyone I talk to notices we all get cold even when it’s like 65 degrees somewhere. I think we’re so acclimated to 115-120F rooms, that now we’re cold everywhere else. It’s ridiculous!
Also bloated as hell and feeling pretty damn fat. Can’t wait to go back and feel normal :P
But at the same time, I know I have to address my real life back at home. You know, the IT life. My job. Powering through those things and learning to navigate what’s ahead for me. Learning to go with the flow - not place too many expectations on where my sweet life is headed. I have had so many days in week 7 where I was annoyed at sharing all this space with everyone, but so happy for it too. And many days when I am in the middle of some lecture of walking somewhere with my lovelies here - that I just can’t believe this is my life, that I was able to manifest this, that I’ve worked to get here and that I am here and doing this thing, and that I have gotten so far in the process and that I’m going to get to go home and begin my path as a teacher. I want to touch the lives of others the way my favorite teachers have done so with me, so desperately want to give to my students. Sometimes I’m just walking around thinking about this, and all the energy I want to put towards this path, that I just want to cry. It’s probably the most one of a kind feeling I’ve ever felt. I never felt this way about my career with the City of Issaquah. It’s not that it hasn’t been inspiring and beautiful at Issaquah… it’s just that I’ve been in a holding pattern there for so long and known that my soul needed to give more than that. I also have learned I can survive without my comfort zone of Issaquah and that it’s actually beautiful. It’s not that I am leaving my job at this point, if ever (again, no expectations) it’s just that I know that I’ll go home and I won’t ever be the same. I’m a little nervous of trying to go back to my job and what that will feel like. It’s a very unknown. People do miss me back at Issaquah, that’s good to know (my boss mentioned this to me in an email). Whatever the case, 2 months away from my life there has done me good. And I’ve learned a lot about people and life while being in this environment. Also, a lot about where I want to go with my fitness once I have the time. We’ll see. I also have a notion that the way I use my time when I go home will be very, very, vastly different than how I used it before. Fitting all I need into 1-2 hours a day is going to help me be able to do more in less time when I go home. Especially studying. I fully intend on staying very inspired with the studying. This weekend I’ve dropped that thread but I’ve been workin pretty hard with it. I also am very happy I learned to study on my own.
I also miss my dogs and my household at home at this point. When Jim came to visit for one weekend it really reminded me of how we fit together. Especially after being in contact with so many others this phase of my life, and seeing how things work and don’t work with others. I am ready to return to my life soon. And yet I hate to let these people go back to their corners of the World, and me too. I’m not sure what to do with it. I’m probably going to be bawling my eyes out in the last weekend because these people can’t be replaced. I know they’ll be around, but the comradely is pretty stellar. I knew I’d come to love some people here, and I remember wondering what that would be like before I left. Now I know who those people are and what it feels like. And it’s odd. Fortunately, there are a few people who live in Vancouver BC who are this list, so that is only a few hours away. The first thing I am doing upon going home is getting that passport. End of story.
I wish I could honestly put more of what has been going on in my into words, but it’s been hard to verbalize on it all. Days pass in a very cyclic way. It goes fast and slow. 2 classes a day, either a lecture and posture clinic, or a posture clinic and lecture/movie… the days are long and my body is used to the idea of not going to bed until late and getting up and hitting the yoga room. In Week 7, some of the days I didn’t feel like doing the yoga, but it’s amazing how once you’ve gotten through the class, it’s like it almost never happened. My practice, I have not been attached to in a long time as to “how it is.” I just don’t care. I give my all in moment to moment during the classes. That’s all I have and I don’t even judge myself about whether it’s a good or a bad class. A lot of people still do. But I just couldn’t be bothered. I just want to be true to myself in the hot room. I want to get the benefits, and I know that my body will be changed forever from 9 weeks of doubles. I know I won’t ever practice this much again in my life, so this is it. I owe it to myself to give myself the best in there. Every Tuesday I thank the gods that I am in a hot room instead of a team meeting. I don’t miss work that much. Even the people there, I feel so disconnected. I’ll be reconnecting when I get home, of course. Detaching from things in my life is pretty unique, and I can tell I’ve done that. I’ll come back and it will be the holidays and I’m not sure how I feel about much. I’ve even disconnected to food ideologies and rules. I’m really glad. I just can’t be bothered to worry worry worry about a bunch of shit that ultimately is a waste of energy anymore. Anyways. Been reaping some solo time this morning, on Sunday. Walking in the rain here, shopping. I see Karen has a lot of spaced used up in our mini fridge here… I fortunately managed to squeeze my stuff in. Phew. She has bigger things :D
I hope I can launch into operation make home the most awesome place to be when I get home. I’m no interior designer, but the energy to put into my home is starting to build up while I am holed up in this hotel room. Wow, right?
When I sit around and look at all the people here and imagine us all teaching our classes… it’s a powerful vision. I cannot wait until I get to travel around and take classes from some of these people. And I can’t wait to put my best of me into becoming better as a teacher for both myself, and more importantly - my students, as I start the difficult but amazing journey.
And it's possible that Sasha will be visiting me next weekend!!! WE'll see. Fingers crossed.
-Angela
Week 7, posture clinics winded down. I know these posts are pretty much not doing my experiences justice, but fortunately I remember a lot of it in my head currently. Posture clinics finished, and the energy of everyone is starting to change. We’re realizing that this isn’t going to go on and on forever, and those of us with scheduled classes are also realizing that our first class is not that far away. More Bollywood videos, more late nights I predict are ahead, but so too are morning classes everyday with Rajashree, and evening classes again with Bikram every night. It’s hard to believe that at the end of week 7 here, we’ve completed 76 yoga classes. It’s odd how we all talk about it very nonchalant - very casual, about the amount of yoga we do. We also are all starting to sound like Bikram teachers, just the timber of how we talk in our conversations and how anything in everyday conversation turns into a line of dialogue. Now if only that shit will come out of my mouth for my first class, my second class, and every class for the rest of my life that I teach! Jeez.
It’s amazing. I’m emotional internally about having to leave, but really wanting to go home all at once. LA is a beautiful place regarding sunshine in October and November, (and rain, real rain) since the first time we got here. I am spending this weekend relaxing more than usual because I will be hitting my dialogue hard soon. My friends and I want to start practicing and stringing postures together, teaching each other mini classes with our spare time, instead of waiting until we get to our first classes to experience part of this.
I am just missing my regular life and occasionally getting sick of sharing a single hotel room with another person. She’s the best roomie I could ask for, but sometimes I want a normal fridge and and and and.
I miss my car, at this point also. I’m not pleased to be going home and to freeze either. Everyone I talk to notices we all get cold even when it’s like 65 degrees somewhere. I think we’re so acclimated to 115-120F rooms, that now we’re cold everywhere else. It’s ridiculous!
Also bloated as hell and feeling pretty damn fat. Can’t wait to go back and feel normal :P
But at the same time, I know I have to address my real life back at home. You know, the IT life. My job. Powering through those things and learning to navigate what’s ahead for me. Learning to go with the flow - not place too many expectations on where my sweet life is headed. I have had so many days in week 7 where I was annoyed at sharing all this space with everyone, but so happy for it too. And many days when I am in the middle of some lecture of walking somewhere with my lovelies here - that I just can’t believe this is my life, that I was able to manifest this, that I’ve worked to get here and that I am here and doing this thing, and that I have gotten so far in the process and that I’m going to get to go home and begin my path as a teacher. I want to touch the lives of others the way my favorite teachers have done so with me, so desperately want to give to my students. Sometimes I’m just walking around thinking about this, and all the energy I want to put towards this path, that I just want to cry. It’s probably the most one of a kind feeling I’ve ever felt. I never felt this way about my career with the City of Issaquah. It’s not that it hasn’t been inspiring and beautiful at Issaquah… it’s just that I’ve been in a holding pattern there for so long and known that my soul needed to give more than that. I also have learned I can survive without my comfort zone of Issaquah and that it’s actually beautiful. It’s not that I am leaving my job at this point, if ever (again, no expectations) it’s just that I know that I’ll go home and I won’t ever be the same. I’m a little nervous of trying to go back to my job and what that will feel like. It’s a very unknown. People do miss me back at Issaquah, that’s good to know (my boss mentioned this to me in an email). Whatever the case, 2 months away from my life there has done me good. And I’ve learned a lot about people and life while being in this environment. Also, a lot about where I want to go with my fitness once I have the time. We’ll see. I also have a notion that the way I use my time when I go home will be very, very, vastly different than how I used it before. Fitting all I need into 1-2 hours a day is going to help me be able to do more in less time when I go home. Especially studying. I fully intend on staying very inspired with the studying. This weekend I’ve dropped that thread but I’ve been workin pretty hard with it. I also am very happy I learned to study on my own.
I also miss my dogs and my household at home at this point. When Jim came to visit for one weekend it really reminded me of how we fit together. Especially after being in contact with so many others this phase of my life, and seeing how things work and don’t work with others. I am ready to return to my life soon. And yet I hate to let these people go back to their corners of the World, and me too. I’m not sure what to do with it. I’m probably going to be bawling my eyes out in the last weekend because these people can’t be replaced. I know they’ll be around, but the comradely is pretty stellar. I knew I’d come to love some people here, and I remember wondering what that would be like before I left. Now I know who those people are and what it feels like. And it’s odd. Fortunately, there are a few people who live in Vancouver BC who are this list, so that is only a few hours away. The first thing I am doing upon going home is getting that passport. End of story.
I wish I could honestly put more of what has been going on in my into words, but it’s been hard to verbalize on it all. Days pass in a very cyclic way. It goes fast and slow. 2 classes a day, either a lecture and posture clinic, or a posture clinic and lecture/movie… the days are long and my body is used to the idea of not going to bed until late and getting up and hitting the yoga room. In Week 7, some of the days I didn’t feel like doing the yoga, but it’s amazing how once you’ve gotten through the class, it’s like it almost never happened. My practice, I have not been attached to in a long time as to “how it is.” I just don’t care. I give my all in moment to moment during the classes. That’s all I have and I don’t even judge myself about whether it’s a good or a bad class. A lot of people still do. But I just couldn’t be bothered. I just want to be true to myself in the hot room. I want to get the benefits, and I know that my body will be changed forever from 9 weeks of doubles. I know I won’t ever practice this much again in my life, so this is it. I owe it to myself to give myself the best in there. Every Tuesday I thank the gods that I am in a hot room instead of a team meeting. I don’t miss work that much. Even the people there, I feel so disconnected. I’ll be reconnecting when I get home, of course. Detaching from things in my life is pretty unique, and I can tell I’ve done that. I’ll come back and it will be the holidays and I’m not sure how I feel about much. I’ve even disconnected to food ideologies and rules. I’m really glad. I just can’t be bothered to worry worry worry about a bunch of shit that ultimately is a waste of energy anymore. Anyways. Been reaping some solo time this morning, on Sunday. Walking in the rain here, shopping. I see Karen has a lot of spaced used up in our mini fridge here… I fortunately managed to squeeze my stuff in. Phew. She has bigger things :D
I hope I can launch into operation make home the most awesome place to be when I get home. I’m no interior designer, but the energy to put into my home is starting to build up while I am holed up in this hotel room. Wow, right?
When I sit around and look at all the people here and imagine us all teaching our classes… it’s a powerful vision. I cannot wait until I get to travel around and take classes from some of these people. And I can’t wait to put my best of me into becoming better as a teacher for both myself, and more importantly - my students, as I start the difficult but amazing journey.
And it's possible that Sasha will be visiting me next weekend!!! WE'll see. Fingers crossed.
-Angela