My married friend, Amanda, my Life, some serious updating!
It’s a good day for an LJ post. What contrasting weekends, this weekend and last! Last weekend I was peppered with Seattle-events, my sweet and dear new friend from Australia, (we’ve only known each other since CGW5) but none the less.
This weekend was special in 2 ways already. I hadn’t seen Mom in a couple of weeks, which was feeling weird this time around because we’d seen TONS of each other for a couple of weeks prior (particularly with Amber being a puppy and Classy the car needing trips to the mechanic.) AND, Amanda got married.
If I was going to Marysville, I was making it worth my while to see my parents!!!
Just so much to write in this post, it’s not even funny. Okay, every great journey starts with the first step.
Yesterday was rad, I got up at a regular hour (between 7-8 for the weekends). I typically get up between 6-7 during weekdays. I wanted to hurry up and call Mom with urgency to go hang out, as Jim was going to work and I wanted to do some stuff BEFORE the evening wedding scheduled. No worries, not our wedding. Someone else’s ;)
But, in all actuality, I did a few errands in my house before I called her. That was when I found out she was hanging out with Grandma. I was like sweeeet, because I’d really been wanting to see her. Although she is very, very old, has aged pretty awfully in the last 10 years, and has a sad state of hygene and overall quality of life, I feel that these last years are important to get my visits in; so much so I was willing to try dropping by their freaky house.
I wish there was more I could do this entire situation. Their house, their state of health and hygene, their mental health… these are things I am learning that are huge. And if the family doesn’t particularly look into this stuff early and cooperate with one another, it becomes a mess. A depressing, heart-breaking mess.
It’s my strongest wish that my own siblings and parents will allow the best communication and grace to happen with my own parents when that time comes. To my parents I say: If you are stubborn, it will be to your own harm. When you are 80 - PLEASE just let things happen and drop the ego. It will be much better for your health and your sanity. And everyone else’s.
I don’t think there would at all be the same issues in my immediate family as there are with my Mom’s. It makes my head spin to think of the issues. I used to think we were functional. Perhaps we were, before 10 years ago.
And then the degradation of “functional” happened. A lesson. This can happen to any family, at any time. Dysfunction. So, never take it for granted any step of the way. Mom talks about the childhood times as if they weren’t a success. They were, it WAS FUNCTIONAL and awesome. And the issue is just now these times are getting to be so far in the past that it feels like maybe it never really worked, or it’s just hard to see the contrast and feel good at all.
Anyhow, good to see Grandma briefly and then even better to see the parents.
I was shamefully close to not leaving my parents house to go to the wedding. I felt lazy, comfortable, unmotivated!!! But the coin spoke and I realized that it was important to go to Amanda and Roland’s wedding. I pretty much found a dress on my drive home, put it on, touched up my makeup, threw my hair up, and dragged Jim out the door. He is lucky for now that his Class A uniform always works for formal events. I am not sure at which point this will no longer seem like a good idea - but then again, maybe never. Bobby wore his Navy Class A’s and told me to thank Jim for making him feel better about wearing HIS class A’s. Somewhat warmed my heart because I understood very much Bobby’s dilemma with his class A’s. “Do I look overdone? Is this too cheeseball?”
I actually thought Bobby didn’t draw too much attention in his Class A’s, and that isn’t a diss. Jim, however - always tends to get a few comments. First off, some people actually KNOW what all those badges he’s earned mean. Particularly the combat-only badges. Meaning, no one can get those badges unless they’ve been in the trenches of war so to speak. So when these kind of people comment on his uniform, he feels amply appreciated for his service.
I have to say that I’m sad the army will be changing their Class A uniforms for the first time in over 100some years. I enjoyed the fact that his Class A’s really feel timeless. I feel like I’m in a black and white movie at some USO club standing next to him dressed in these. When I see him in the uniform, particularly if his hair is done a certain way, I really swear I remember looking at photos of WWII people that look exactly like him. His particularly hairstyle and face style combined with the sharp uniform is reminiscent of photographs I’ve seen in history books or somewhere. I’m not exactly sure where… but the first time I saw him in them, it was pretty crazy. I like the timeless feel. I often look at old photos of these guys from WWII and think. “If he was standing next to me today, I’d have said that guy is pretty hot…” etc.
Nevermind that he is either dead or super old ;)
Digression. The wedding ritual as pretty impressive. Pagan flavored wedding rituals are not the same old boring flavor you’ll see in traditional venues. This wedding was in Volunteer park at the Seattle Asian Art Museum, and it was one of the better venues I’ve seen. Of course, Amanda being one of the best singers I know in person (even trumping my dear friend Kelsi in this area, because Amanda has ONE amazing ability to have a larger than life crescendo with a range to kill for) - the hall obviously was hand chosen for it’s acoustics.
Beautiful relics on the walls and just the right space, everyone was seating in a circle. Two circles (concentric, hah!) one circle of chairs, the rest on the floor with pillows. Since Jim and I are strapping young people, we sat on the floor. It is always beautiful to see my friends in the wedding rituals, it seems to be so much more personal - for instance, Matt officiated! Jim seemed particularly interested in this part. I think Jim’s vision of officiators was suddenly changed when he realized that Matt is legally able to do this for the State of Washington.
So - this ceremony, featuring a full on circle casting, blessings of the marriage from all quarters and elementals, and then personal vows between bride and groom, as well as Amanda’s singing through parts of this - was very flavored of AMANDA and naturally, Roland also.
I think one of the rare things happened here. Amanda’s singing, I have heard countless times and particularly in public ritual before (always casting a spell of its own on me) was really raw with the best kind of emotion! Kudos for Amanda for singing through all that! I cannot imagine. Her emotional song (which was still beautiful and unbroken by tears) was better than 90% of anyone trying their best with no waves of joy-tears hidden behind their performance! Holy moly. Color me amazed at Amanda yet again.
I have now been to a few pagan weddings and adore every aspect of them. I love the use of sound magick and participants and everything from top to bottom. While my own ceremony wouldn’t be as apt to feature solo singings (hahaha) or many of these things, it is refreshing to think of what *could* be used. For instance, I INSTANTEOUSLY fell in love with the wedding party quarters wearing the colors of the elementals. I also giggled when I could see the difference between experienced pagan ritualists and folks from the mundane world giving their lines in her ceremony. It brought me back to how it felt to do my first practice rituals way back when.
Who knew it becomes so natural when you’ve done it for several years, yeah?
Don’t mind me. I am sitting on my couch with my dogs snuggling on me, drinking coffee, and listening to tunes. I have no intention of hurrying this post along!!!
So, the things that I thought were awesome to note for future use:
+ Elementals and color corresponding dresses
+ Congregational ohms and blessings
+ Use of wedding party participants for a brief chant and raising of power (obvious cone of power in the circle) before official “I do’s”.
After migrating to the ceremony, it was particularly comforting to see Jim’s brain turning in circles about possibilities for his own ceremony, rather than ignoring the possibility at all. Clear he wasn’t too keen on quite as dramatic of a show, it is obvious that one day it will take a bit of collaboration to see just how much hippy-ness we can incorporate without having it take over from his perspective.
Anyway, off to the reception. I had not made plans in my mind for the whole “delicious” catering of the event calorie wise. So, I basically winged it. Couple of glasses of wine, couple of mini cupcakes, a few delicious shrooms and vegan appetizers. I think the reception was pretty amazing. But then, how could it not be? Those were some of my favorite homies hanging out with great food, great drink, great music. Doesn’t beat that. I have to admit, with the way they set up tables in their art gallery - it turned out pretty swell. Was fun chatting with Matt, tried to harass Amanda as much as I could, and met some new folks, while socializing with Jackie and her new beau (okay, she has been with Mike a couple of years now!!!) Jackie lives in Victoria, BC - which is always sad for those of us Seattleites who miss her greatly R and R, Josh, and Inna - not to mention Matt. Was quite the successful bash. We left a little earlier than I might have - Mike and Jackie gave us a little bit of hell for it (saying, “it’s okay, go home to your TV and your cat.” We said, “dogs.”) ;) Jim had to work at 8AM today, so that was the primary reason. He has toyed with calling out “sick” the past few days, for special reasons of his own that I have yet to announce. Official LJ announcement on that news may come on Monday or Tuesday.
Needless to say, I walked away thinking, “damn. I almost phoned out on this one, and that would have been really lame!” Maybe I should blame my parents’ couch.
Today, I should be productive, but seeing as my long-overdue period has finally come in full force, I decided sleeping in until 12 (not typically for me) sounded good.
I got up at 6:30ish to go buy Jim some coconut water, because he had a hangover from his 2 glasses of wine and 1 glass of champagne… to which I say, I’ve NEVER had champagne I enjoyed… but this stuff was good!!! I’m not even sure how you FIND good champagne seeing as lots of it tastes like ass.
I felt so awesome throwing on sweatpants and a hoodie to hit the Safeway where the best deal of coconut water is. It’s the best thing to help get rid of a hangover, as well as replenish after too much consecutive hot yoga. I sort of miss being little miss “OVER THE TOP” on running or yoga or anything, but now days I’m sporting a balance of “I’m working out. I don’t care what it is.”
In a way, it’s a relief to my ego though. I also think my body isn’t sure what workout I will be choosing from week to week…
Speaking of work outs. I want to get on track with those this week. Last week was a bit funky, I only worked out 3 times and typically I go 5. Thanks, Auzzie for that one. And the wedding ate my last workout.
So, after I got up early to nurse Jim’s hangover, I went back to bed and slept some more to spoil Fritz. (Sure, blame it on the dog). And then I made Brunch, keeping my calories back in check so that I can start to see my success all over again. Mark my words, I’m getting back to those damn 140s!!! My hips annoy me so much less when I break the barrier of the 150.
Fortunately, I realize I’ve got some great physical assets and no longer find myself wanting to be a breakable twig like my sister. Used to think her style was more attractive than my own, but am coming to realize I value that less. First off, her height is distinctive, but I have one huge benefit, I like my height! So while being a bean-pole may on the agenda of some people, I think my quite square build (particularly when I am at my leanest size/weight) is pretty rad. I just don’t like it when my hips aren’t proportionate to my torso. So that’s where making it my goal to stick to the 140s, (between 140-145 is my favorite). And if I keep succeeding, I’ll try for 138 just for grins because that was my all-time low ;)
Mid 150s right now. AJ is making me grateful for my body though.
My new mantra is, “it doesn’t matter right now! What matters is 3 months from now!”
And honestly, I’m aware that even though sometimes the going is slow when you are already in your healthy weight range (I was at the top of it, I’m now in the middle, my goal is the bottom end of it) - I also realize that I went from the top, to the middle - since last summer. So, it’s a safe estimation that it will be no problem to continue down to the bottom of the weight range, and that I will continue to relax, and not *worry* about it. Just keep doing my best, with the majority of my habits being healthy.
Anyhow. I will now make an official announcement: My facebook fasting is officially over, and I will go back to checking Facebook a little more regularly, and posting a bit more. This comes after reading at appropriate times, not reading it too much, and realizing that Mom kind of enjoys reading it ;)
And of course the rest of you who do also.
And now, I’m off to figure out what to do for a workout before it gets too late. I think the gym sounds promising… I just wonder if I will ever get a good yoga practice going ever again! Yikes. I vow to do at least one 30 day challenge this year sometime… I was dreaming (for real) about doing one in May. Hmmm…
-Angela
This weekend was special in 2 ways already. I hadn’t seen Mom in a couple of weeks, which was feeling weird this time around because we’d seen TONS of each other for a couple of weeks prior (particularly with Amber being a puppy and Classy the car needing trips to the mechanic.) AND, Amanda got married.
If I was going to Marysville, I was making it worth my while to see my parents!!!
Just so much to write in this post, it’s not even funny. Okay, every great journey starts with the first step.
Yesterday was rad, I got up at a regular hour (between 7-8 for the weekends). I typically get up between 6-7 during weekdays. I wanted to hurry up and call Mom with urgency to go hang out, as Jim was going to work and I wanted to do some stuff BEFORE the evening wedding scheduled. No worries, not our wedding. Someone else’s ;)
But, in all actuality, I did a few errands in my house before I called her. That was when I found out she was hanging out with Grandma. I was like sweeeet, because I’d really been wanting to see her. Although she is very, very old, has aged pretty awfully in the last 10 years, and has a sad state of hygene and overall quality of life, I feel that these last years are important to get my visits in; so much so I was willing to try dropping by their freaky house.
I wish there was more I could do this entire situation. Their house, their state of health and hygene, their mental health… these are things I am learning that are huge. And if the family doesn’t particularly look into this stuff early and cooperate with one another, it becomes a mess. A depressing, heart-breaking mess.
It’s my strongest wish that my own siblings and parents will allow the best communication and grace to happen with my own parents when that time comes. To my parents I say: If you are stubborn, it will be to your own harm. When you are 80 - PLEASE just let things happen and drop the ego. It will be much better for your health and your sanity. And everyone else’s.
I don’t think there would at all be the same issues in my immediate family as there are with my Mom’s. It makes my head spin to think of the issues. I used to think we were functional. Perhaps we were, before 10 years ago.
And then the degradation of “functional” happened. A lesson. This can happen to any family, at any time. Dysfunction. So, never take it for granted any step of the way. Mom talks about the childhood times as if they weren’t a success. They were, it WAS FUNCTIONAL and awesome. And the issue is just now these times are getting to be so far in the past that it feels like maybe it never really worked, or it’s just hard to see the contrast and feel good at all.
Anyhow, good to see Grandma briefly and then even better to see the parents.
I was shamefully close to not leaving my parents house to go to the wedding. I felt lazy, comfortable, unmotivated!!! But the coin spoke and I realized that it was important to go to Amanda and Roland’s wedding. I pretty much found a dress on my drive home, put it on, touched up my makeup, threw my hair up, and dragged Jim out the door. He is lucky for now that his Class A uniform always works for formal events. I am not sure at which point this will no longer seem like a good idea - but then again, maybe never. Bobby wore his Navy Class A’s and told me to thank Jim for making him feel better about wearing HIS class A’s. Somewhat warmed my heart because I understood very much Bobby’s dilemma with his class A’s. “Do I look overdone? Is this too cheeseball?”
I actually thought Bobby didn’t draw too much attention in his Class A’s, and that isn’t a diss. Jim, however - always tends to get a few comments. First off, some people actually KNOW what all those badges he’s earned mean. Particularly the combat-only badges. Meaning, no one can get those badges unless they’ve been in the trenches of war so to speak. So when these kind of people comment on his uniform, he feels amply appreciated for his service.
I have to say that I’m sad the army will be changing their Class A uniforms for the first time in over 100some years. I enjoyed the fact that his Class A’s really feel timeless. I feel like I’m in a black and white movie at some USO club standing next to him dressed in these. When I see him in the uniform, particularly if his hair is done a certain way, I really swear I remember looking at photos of WWII people that look exactly like him. His particularly hairstyle and face style combined with the sharp uniform is reminiscent of photographs I’ve seen in history books or somewhere. I’m not exactly sure where… but the first time I saw him in them, it was pretty crazy. I like the timeless feel. I often look at old photos of these guys from WWII and think. “If he was standing next to me today, I’d have said that guy is pretty hot…” etc.
Nevermind that he is either dead or super old ;)
Digression. The wedding ritual as pretty impressive. Pagan flavored wedding rituals are not the same old boring flavor you’ll see in traditional venues. This wedding was in Volunteer park at the Seattle Asian Art Museum, and it was one of the better venues I’ve seen. Of course, Amanda being one of the best singers I know in person (even trumping my dear friend Kelsi in this area, because Amanda has ONE amazing ability to have a larger than life crescendo with a range to kill for) - the hall obviously was hand chosen for it’s acoustics.
Beautiful relics on the walls and just the right space, everyone was seating in a circle. Two circles (concentric, hah!) one circle of chairs, the rest on the floor with pillows. Since Jim and I are strapping young people, we sat on the floor. It is always beautiful to see my friends in the wedding rituals, it seems to be so much more personal - for instance, Matt officiated! Jim seemed particularly interested in this part. I think Jim’s vision of officiators was suddenly changed when he realized that Matt is legally able to do this for the State of Washington.
So - this ceremony, featuring a full on circle casting, blessings of the marriage from all quarters and elementals, and then personal vows between bride and groom, as well as Amanda’s singing through parts of this - was very flavored of AMANDA and naturally, Roland also.
I think one of the rare things happened here. Amanda’s singing, I have heard countless times and particularly in public ritual before (always casting a spell of its own on me) was really raw with the best kind of emotion! Kudos for Amanda for singing through all that! I cannot imagine. Her emotional song (which was still beautiful and unbroken by tears) was better than 90% of anyone trying their best with no waves of joy-tears hidden behind their performance! Holy moly. Color me amazed at Amanda yet again.
I have now been to a few pagan weddings and adore every aspect of them. I love the use of sound magick and participants and everything from top to bottom. While my own ceremony wouldn’t be as apt to feature solo singings (hahaha) or many of these things, it is refreshing to think of what *could* be used. For instance, I INSTANTEOUSLY fell in love with the wedding party quarters wearing the colors of the elementals. I also giggled when I could see the difference between experienced pagan ritualists and folks from the mundane world giving their lines in her ceremony. It brought me back to how it felt to do my first practice rituals way back when.
Who knew it becomes so natural when you’ve done it for several years, yeah?
Don’t mind me. I am sitting on my couch with my dogs snuggling on me, drinking coffee, and listening to tunes. I have no intention of hurrying this post along!!!
So, the things that I thought were awesome to note for future use:
+ Elementals and color corresponding dresses
+ Congregational ohms and blessings
+ Use of wedding party participants for a brief chant and raising of power (obvious cone of power in the circle) before official “I do’s”.
After migrating to the ceremony, it was particularly comforting to see Jim’s brain turning in circles about possibilities for his own ceremony, rather than ignoring the possibility at all. Clear he wasn’t too keen on quite as dramatic of a show, it is obvious that one day it will take a bit of collaboration to see just how much hippy-ness we can incorporate without having it take over from his perspective.
Anyway, off to the reception. I had not made plans in my mind for the whole “delicious” catering of the event calorie wise. So, I basically winged it. Couple of glasses of wine, couple of mini cupcakes, a few delicious shrooms and vegan appetizers. I think the reception was pretty amazing. But then, how could it not be? Those were some of my favorite homies hanging out with great food, great drink, great music. Doesn’t beat that. I have to admit, with the way they set up tables in their art gallery - it turned out pretty swell. Was fun chatting with Matt, tried to harass Amanda as much as I could, and met some new folks, while socializing with Jackie and her new beau (okay, she has been with Mike a couple of years now!!!) Jackie lives in Victoria, BC - which is always sad for those of us Seattleites who miss her greatly R and R, Josh, and Inna - not to mention Matt. Was quite the successful bash. We left a little earlier than I might have - Mike and Jackie gave us a little bit of hell for it (saying, “it’s okay, go home to your TV and your cat.” We said, “dogs.”) ;) Jim had to work at 8AM today, so that was the primary reason. He has toyed with calling out “sick” the past few days, for special reasons of his own that I have yet to announce. Official LJ announcement on that news may come on Monday or Tuesday.
Needless to say, I walked away thinking, “damn. I almost phoned out on this one, and that would have been really lame!” Maybe I should blame my parents’ couch.
Today, I should be productive, but seeing as my long-overdue period has finally come in full force, I decided sleeping in until 12 (not typically for me) sounded good.
I got up at 6:30ish to go buy Jim some coconut water, because he had a hangover from his 2 glasses of wine and 1 glass of champagne… to which I say, I’ve NEVER had champagne I enjoyed… but this stuff was good!!! I’m not even sure how you FIND good champagne seeing as lots of it tastes like ass.
I felt so awesome throwing on sweatpants and a hoodie to hit the Safeway where the best deal of coconut water is. It’s the best thing to help get rid of a hangover, as well as replenish after too much consecutive hot yoga. I sort of miss being little miss “OVER THE TOP” on running or yoga or anything, but now days I’m sporting a balance of “I’m working out. I don’t care what it is.”
In a way, it’s a relief to my ego though. I also think my body isn’t sure what workout I will be choosing from week to week…
Speaking of work outs. I want to get on track with those this week. Last week was a bit funky, I only worked out 3 times and typically I go 5. Thanks, Auzzie for that one. And the wedding ate my last workout.
So, after I got up early to nurse Jim’s hangover, I went back to bed and slept some more to spoil Fritz. (Sure, blame it on the dog). And then I made Brunch, keeping my calories back in check so that I can start to see my success all over again. Mark my words, I’m getting back to those damn 140s!!! My hips annoy me so much less when I break the barrier of the 150.
Fortunately, I realize I’ve got some great physical assets and no longer find myself wanting to be a breakable twig like my sister. Used to think her style was more attractive than my own, but am coming to realize I value that less. First off, her height is distinctive, but I have one huge benefit, I like my height! So while being a bean-pole may on the agenda of some people, I think my quite square build (particularly when I am at my leanest size/weight) is pretty rad. I just don’t like it when my hips aren’t proportionate to my torso. So that’s where making it my goal to stick to the 140s, (between 140-145 is my favorite). And if I keep succeeding, I’ll try for 138 just for grins because that was my all-time low ;)
Mid 150s right now. AJ is making me grateful for my body though.
My new mantra is, “it doesn’t matter right now! What matters is 3 months from now!”
And honestly, I’m aware that even though sometimes the going is slow when you are already in your healthy weight range (I was at the top of it, I’m now in the middle, my goal is the bottom end of it) - I also realize that I went from the top, to the middle - since last summer. So, it’s a safe estimation that it will be no problem to continue down to the bottom of the weight range, and that I will continue to relax, and not *worry* about it. Just keep doing my best, with the majority of my habits being healthy.
Anyhow. I will now make an official announcement: My facebook fasting is officially over, and I will go back to checking Facebook a little more regularly, and posting a bit more. This comes after reading at appropriate times, not reading it too much, and realizing that Mom kind of enjoys reading it ;)
And of course the rest of you who do also.
And now, I’m off to figure out what to do for a workout before it gets too late. I think the gym sounds promising… I just wonder if I will ever get a good yoga practice going ever again! Yikes. I vow to do at least one 30 day challenge this year sometime… I was dreaming (for real) about doing one in May. Hmmm…
-Angela