A Sunday Afternoon
Things have been going right along. Been working hard on not working as hard in life. We've gone through some tumultuous times here and there - yet it's clear that each situation gives way to much needed relationship weeding
( Read more... )
You realize that it's hard. There are several reasons our friendship has it's trials.
You and I live totally different realities.
While I often respect you more than you know - our approach and life experiences have many similarities, but Just like Jim and I, they are also vastly different.
Without that... well, we'd have nothing to offer each other likely.
This at times creates a sense of dissonance that doesn't always make it easy to think the other person will quite grasp certain issues that come up.
While either of may not always fully understand and be able to provide the exact eye-to-eye understanding that most people crave when they look for support, I think it's most paramount to know that the friendship existing and feeling that you can COMMUNICATE at all, that keeps things in balance. Also - Family to me is beginning to really mean, a person who you can count on when you Need.It.Most.
**************
If I can tell someone things they want to hear, or maybe those they don't want to hear - and they can accept me anyway and still continue to be there for me, no matter what the reason (Crisis, or comradeship), no matter what our differences, without fail, I know deep in my heart they'll respond if I really needed help - DNA be damned, I consider that person Family. I have hereby removed the DNA label for family and re-created Family based off of a few deeper things. DNA does not make family to me anymore.
**************
The distance makes it harsh for either of us. There are no opportunities to just grab a cup of coffee when things are feeling dismal or you just need to let it out.
That part sucks.
Coffee every 6 months is totally different than what would probably be coffee every month if we lived closer.
You know, the feeling of people "cutting" off is a pretty lousy one.
It is why I really will be shifting my approach with my Mom.
IT's not fair, it's not kind, it's not productive, it's not healthy. As I'm on the other side of one, it is ultimately reminding me that it is the worst way to treat a loved one.
While I am taking a temporary hiatus until I can really address my personal internal emotions first, then communicate more kindly at the right time. I think part of me knew the reaction I would expressed outwardly if I communicated it would be very ineffective and too hurtful. Thus the mini-timeout.
(Last night after glitch25's comments) I was given to realize... no, this stuff that is going on between me and my Mom=will be addressed within the next week or two, and it won't be over-stated.
:)
Fortunately, I'm getting used to the idea that my bro chooses to carry his life without me. That doesn't have to make me feel bad unless I choose to hook into the sadness loops of my left brain. (Left brain accounts for time lines, calculation, judging, analytical, and again - storytelling/drama that happens via emotional pain.)
Pain is pain and we can't avoid it. But I know I've been processing this deeply since it happened. Fortunately the first couple of months, LOTS of Yoga really helped me face the circumstance.
How can you be upset about bro while doing hatha yoga in 106 degree rooms??? :)
-Angela
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment