Stuff
After having some dumb LTR moments (Long Term Relationship) moments this weekend, things are probably going to be looking up. I really need to start my circuit training session, but I thought I'd take a few moments to write down about my yesterday.
We've been having issues in general, no specifics do I need to mention just for lack of time.
Fortunately, I had some great friends (Icky, Jessie, and Inna) all supportive during mid day when I was feeling crappy about my situation. On to the better part of the evening:
Finally chose to go out with Jim to Chris Y's birthday party.
I am slowly becoming friends with his friends, although he obviously knows them better than I do. Often they have events and I go, he has to go to work, and I go back and hang out with them because it has been my most accessible social opportunity. So, they are getting to know me. Oddly, independent of Jim. Often. Which isn't common of couples and their work-social networks.......
Regardless, Chris had a nice party. Chris is extremely philosophical, turning 24 last week, usually our conversations are only philosophical. It was hilarious to see him intoxicated.
The other folks drank to excess if you ask me. After dropping Jim and Galen off (to go to work) I returned later to the party to find most everyone seriously passed out. Except a few folks.
Having been the only sober female, I was given to take care of Phylicia, who had had too much. After near carrying her to the living room to settle her down, the single tiny puke happened.
Oops.
We then headed off to a "bonfire," as soft spoken and smooth Tony the Tiger (the kid has tiger stripe tattoos even) ... we find his bonfire is really some park. Hung out there until I escorted us back to Chris' house. Funny... we were thinking the bonfire was in someone's backyard. Tony the Tiger also invited us to go to another party in Kent... but I wasn't really feeling it. It was 2AM, way past my bedtime. Chris feeling tipsy, single, and enjoying himself all while apologizing constantly and in spite of himself, enjoying me as arm candy and general company. He is way, way too shy for this normally. As Jim and I don't roll in the "get your hands off my woman" route, I continually assured Chris's drunk self that Jim would "not shoot him," for hanging all over me in his birthday-drunkness.
Adorably calling everyone female a "beautiful woman," I couldn't help but laugh at him most of the evening. Especially since he is so wordy and philosophical. I could write a novel about his general mannerism. But for the sake of this entry, I'll leave that out too.
Needless to say, hanging out with Kristen and Curtis, 2 other folks that I always enjoyed... turned into a couple more hour conversation with Kristen, who I have yet to get to know quite so well. Curtis needed a power nap before they hit the road. Had a nice conversation about philosophy and life with Kristen and Chris until we all headed out. I rolled into my front doorstep at 0400 and fell fast asleep. Until Jim came home a few hours later.
Certainly, I felt energized by the social interaction and can see the difference in my overall deportment today. It's apparent that without social interaction and hanging out too often in my house waiting around is not going to cut it much longer for me. I need to reach out.
On this subject, Jessie and Icky would have hung out with me had I *NOT* gone to Chris Y's party. I have noticed the 2 of them are uplifting beyond belief as well. Had I not gotten so occupied in the backyard lawn darts, bad-mitten, and crazy people - I would have gone to my phone to text them the situation.
This being said... I also crave their company soon (and Inna). People take my mind off of the stuff that is trivial but my mind blows out of porportion in boredom. (Like my body, for instance.)
Neeeeedless to say, I abandoned my phone a lot of the night. Felt bad, but also was riding off of social contentment. I don't feel quite on par with Jim yet, although I think this is just a matter of time. There is a lot of frustration spinning around certain issues right now.
1- Overnight schedule
2- Growth and planning of steps that are going to steward him into his nearing 30s.
3- Target just won't cut it forever. For a man so intelligent, this is a crime and as bitchy as this sounds, I just can't fucking stand it some days.
4- Keeping life interesting
5- World of Warcraft, or otherwise known as "The Death." This term coined by my friend Melanie.
(A word on Melanie). She found me on facebook. We were pretty good pals in middle school. Grew apart of time, but have always got along and related in spite of the fact we're vastly different people. We've been chatting a lot on the web. I really want to hang out with her sometime, except that she is very broke and seems to think this is a point that makes it not as useful to chill.
I will have to work on strategies and free ideas of stuff I can invite her to. I'd even pay for certain things, because in all seriousness... my financial situation is really good.
I know my job really wears on me because it is not passionate or inspiring a lot of the time. I am 99% certain it just has to do with being with my same little pond that I have probably outgrown. However... it is at the very least, enough to keep me in house and home with unheard of perks. This is still a phase. I'm not addressing my own advancement issues.
That one is too big of a fish to talk about at the second.
For all intents and purposes though - it makes it easier to do nice things for people if you do have extra dough. I'd say fat around the edges, but I'm seriously pissed off about my extra bf% right now. :P
Oh wells. It does not define me. And I'll be damned if I let it bring me down another day. It's time to live and not obsess over shit that is just a matter of time for me to take care of.
I have a permanence problem: Every issue that is thrown at me FEELS permanent. But I'm here to admit to myself and everyone else: It's almost never permanent. Whatever problem it is.
Like my knees. I ride off of this: I felt like they would never heal, the day would never come when I'd wander around pain free, play bad-mitten on a seriously hilly and uneven surface, wander around on grass, stand for hours and be comfortable in the knees.
But guess what? I healed. I can do all that. I made it.
I run. I jump. I can kneel now.
It wasn't permanent. Maybe a slow process... but I can look back and right now it's just a nasty, nasty, fucked up memory.
I am working on using this to help me put current issues into perspective.
-Angela
We've been having issues in general, no specifics do I need to mention just for lack of time.
Fortunately, I had some great friends (Icky, Jessie, and Inna) all supportive during mid day when I was feeling crappy about my situation. On to the better part of the evening:
Finally chose to go out with Jim to Chris Y's birthday party.
I am slowly becoming friends with his friends, although he obviously knows them better than I do. Often they have events and I go, he has to go to work, and I go back and hang out with them because it has been my most accessible social opportunity. So, they are getting to know me. Oddly, independent of Jim. Often. Which isn't common of couples and their work-social networks.......
Regardless, Chris had a nice party. Chris is extremely philosophical, turning 24 last week, usually our conversations are only philosophical. It was hilarious to see him intoxicated.
The other folks drank to excess if you ask me. After dropping Jim and Galen off (to go to work) I returned later to the party to find most everyone seriously passed out. Except a few folks.
Having been the only sober female, I was given to take care of Phylicia, who had had too much. After near carrying her to the living room to settle her down, the single tiny puke happened.
Oops.
We then headed off to a "bonfire," as soft spoken and smooth Tony the Tiger (the kid has tiger stripe tattoos even) ... we find his bonfire is really some park. Hung out there until I escorted us back to Chris' house. Funny... we were thinking the bonfire was in someone's backyard. Tony the Tiger also invited us to go to another party in Kent... but I wasn't really feeling it. It was 2AM, way past my bedtime. Chris feeling tipsy, single, and enjoying himself all while apologizing constantly and in spite of himself, enjoying me as arm candy and general company. He is way, way too shy for this normally. As Jim and I don't roll in the "get your hands off my woman" route, I continually assured Chris's drunk self that Jim would "not shoot him," for hanging all over me in his birthday-drunkness.
Adorably calling everyone female a "beautiful woman," I couldn't help but laugh at him most of the evening. Especially since he is so wordy and philosophical. I could write a novel about his general mannerism. But for the sake of this entry, I'll leave that out too.
Needless to say, hanging out with Kristen and Curtis, 2 other folks that I always enjoyed... turned into a couple more hour conversation with Kristen, who I have yet to get to know quite so well. Curtis needed a power nap before they hit the road. Had a nice conversation about philosophy and life with Kristen and Chris until we all headed out. I rolled into my front doorstep at 0400 and fell fast asleep. Until Jim came home a few hours later.
Certainly, I felt energized by the social interaction and can see the difference in my overall deportment today. It's apparent that without social interaction and hanging out too often in my house waiting around is not going to cut it much longer for me. I need to reach out.
On this subject, Jessie and Icky would have hung out with me had I *NOT* gone to Chris Y's party. I have noticed the 2 of them are uplifting beyond belief as well. Had I not gotten so occupied in the backyard lawn darts, bad-mitten, and crazy people - I would have gone to my phone to text them the situation.
This being said... I also crave their company soon (and Inna). People take my mind off of the stuff that is trivial but my mind blows out of porportion in boredom. (Like my body, for instance.)
Neeeeedless to say, I abandoned my phone a lot of the night. Felt bad, but also was riding off of social contentment. I don't feel quite on par with Jim yet, although I think this is just a matter of time. There is a lot of frustration spinning around certain issues right now.
1- Overnight schedule
2- Growth and planning of steps that are going to steward him into his nearing 30s.
3- Target just won't cut it forever. For a man so intelligent, this is a crime and as bitchy as this sounds, I just can't fucking stand it some days.
4- Keeping life interesting
5- World of Warcraft, or otherwise known as "The Death." This term coined by my friend Melanie.
(A word on Melanie). She found me on facebook. We were pretty good pals in middle school. Grew apart of time, but have always got along and related in spite of the fact we're vastly different people. We've been chatting a lot on the web. I really want to hang out with her sometime, except that she is very broke and seems to think this is a point that makes it not as useful to chill.
I will have to work on strategies and free ideas of stuff I can invite her to. I'd even pay for certain things, because in all seriousness... my financial situation is really good.
I know my job really wears on me because it is not passionate or inspiring a lot of the time. I am 99% certain it just has to do with being with my same little pond that I have probably outgrown. However... it is at the very least, enough to keep me in house and home with unheard of perks. This is still a phase. I'm not addressing my own advancement issues.
That one is too big of a fish to talk about at the second.
For all intents and purposes though - it makes it easier to do nice things for people if you do have extra dough. I'd say fat around the edges, but I'm seriously pissed off about my extra bf% right now. :P
Oh wells. It does not define me. And I'll be damned if I let it bring me down another day. It's time to live and not obsess over shit that is just a matter of time for me to take care of.
I have a permanence problem: Every issue that is thrown at me FEELS permanent. But I'm here to admit to myself and everyone else: It's almost never permanent. Whatever problem it is.
Like my knees. I ride off of this: I felt like they would never heal, the day would never come when I'd wander around pain free, play bad-mitten on a seriously hilly and uneven surface, wander around on grass, stand for hours and be comfortable in the knees.
But guess what? I healed. I can do all that. I made it.
I run. I jump. I can kneel now.
It wasn't permanent. Maybe a slow process... but I can look back and right now it's just a nasty, nasty, fucked up memory.
I am working on using this to help me put current issues into perspective.
-Angela