California Updates
Road trip!
It was a lot of fun. I had initially dreaded parts of it. Like the entire driving almost as long as my stay in the area I was staying. But really, I found it to be more about spending some quality time with the fella. We haven't ever taken a “trip” of any sorts, like I may have mentioned. Was frustrated with this idea... 2 years, I'm big into getting out and leaving my usual mindset/environment. And we hadn't gone once.
This very much did count as a “trip” even though we went with 2 other couples. Which made it - interesting to say the least. I wasn't sure how it would go. I've been at ends with how I feel about Kelsi in the past 6 months or so. And the idea of staying with Mel/Ryland made me wonder how it would go also.
So we headed out Wednesday night after Jim got off work. 2015 we hit the road.
We drove until 0200, which was longer than I thought we'd drive. I was really only holding out for a few hours, but I figured because it was a 13 hour drive, taking 3 off the top WOULD make a difference for the following (Thursday) day. Well, we drove about halfway and crashed at a Motel 6.
We really enjoyed just hanging out in the car and talking. It was a great thing - I got a lot of the attention I felt like I'd been missing lately from Jim. He couldn't retreat to his computer or share the hour here or there and then back to his “evening” thing. It was good for him to get away from work and from the home routines.
We got up around 0830 and headed down further at 0900ish. We drove and drove and drove.
And then we ended up stopping in Redding, California at a truck stop. I always wanted to try Pop-Eyes fried chicken. So at long last - after I almost gave up on food to eat, we saw the Pop-Eyes sign and stopped there!!! It was really good and we had a nice rest.
Then we headed back out on the road.
And arrived at last around 1900.
Mel and Ryland were out getting food - and were going to have to wait and play “ping pong” in the lobby. Because the timeshare was his mom's timeshare. Which meant we weren't listed on the list to get keys. The front lobby lady heard my strained phone call to Mel about driving on the road all day only to wait and play ping-pong. I was feeling bossy. I feel like I've changed a lot in the last year. I'm a bit pushier and less afraid to state some things with the people I've known for years. I used to let people push me around more.
The front lobby lady just gave me the key in pity.
Thank goodness, because we got into the 3 bdroom penthouse suite... and collapsed onto the giant King sized bed for an hour nap before the Mel/Ryland came back. (They found out we'd gotten the key so they went grocery shopping or something.)
Finally we got up. So I wish I'd taken more pics of this timeshare. It was a rare opportunity as for travel expense: the weekend lodging cost me $50. And Jim will pay $50 for his half. Which was what I paid for the motel 6... only this was a really posh timeshare. 2-3 nights for $50... not too shabby.
Now, to the other couples this was an excuse to waste money in other ways. Well, I was able to buy wines instead of spend it on lodging, but it still didn't give me warranted excuse to just waste money on overly expensive dinners. So, that is later on in my story here though.
We hung out at the hot tub later that night after a trip to WalMart (yes). I got the few items I needed.
We went to bed and then I got up later than I wanted, worked out in the fitness room they had. I was stoked about that. I was able to hit the E machine for a total of 2 hours during my trip there - making it easy to go to wine tastings and not feel so bad about it.
On the drive I saw signs to Old Faithful Geyer of California and a Petrified forest. Mel had asked me the night before if I could do “anything” on Friday, what would it be. I immediately listed these 2 things. (Kelsi/Shane were coming Friday night). Mel and Ryland weren't so interested in that scope of entertainment. I'm a nature girl, a hippy, and a pagan to boot. And there's a side of me that is deeply touched by OLD things. So both of these things spoke loudly to me.
These two folks are a bit preppy - eastside born kids that are more into fine dinners, wines, and the “good life,” that they think people all want. I'm not saying that's bad, but they were unimpressed by my ideas. Mel tried to be mild on her dis-interest. She said she'd done the 2 events before. Ryland talked about how stupid and small and tiny and boring the Geyer was, and the fact that 3 logs sitting there is not a “forest.”
The 2 events ended up being my favorite parts of my trip to California.
Jim and I went to lunch (and Mel and Ryland said they'd meet us at the Geyser once we were done with lunch.) We'd informed them that lunching was first on our agenda.
They went to the Geyer and called us after a while saying they'd seen it, were done, leaving. Like real short like. We were like, “okay.”
I doubt they spent much time there and I wonder why they even went - especially seeing as we had informed them prior we were doing lunch first. We hadn't eaten yet and I had worked out for an hour.
Went to Quiznos, had a really enjoyable lunch - got lost trying to find the Geyser. Eventually found it - and it was exploding as we walked up. Super good timing! And then we decided we'd relax in the sun and just hang out within the gates. We ended up seeing it explode for a total of 3 times. We spent the rest of the time chilling in the sun in cozy lawn chairs, taking goofy photos, exploring the farm and petting zoo nearby, and looking at Bamboo. It was, what I call... a perfect way to spend time with my fella. I mean they had cute little animals and really just a nice space. It was in the plains of California. Why not sit and enjoy the views of the mountains and valleys of the area??? We also bought a couple of small things from the gift shop. Jimmy bought me a coffee mug :D I bought tiny rocks that said “LOVE,” and “FAITH,” because sometimes I feel like I need physical reminders that I have them both. :P
We weren't in the need to go run all over the place.
Eventually we headed out to the winery right next door to the Geyser. “Summer's” winery.
We decided to do a tasting there. It was right before closing and we ended up buying 3 bottles collectively at Summer's winery.
After that, I knew the petrified forest was on the way back. It was nearing 1730 and the place closed at 1900. It was perfect timing and we ended up having the trail to see the petrified wood to ourselves. It was an absolutely beautiful little trail and I was able to think about just how old the space was.
After that we drove back to the timeshare and Mel and Ryland were grilling hotdogs. When Ryland said we were going to have a BBQ, I figured BBQ chicken or steak. He chose hotdogs, after denouncing white meat as not being manly. (Well, in so many words.)
Ended up enjoying dinner, which was grilled hotdogs and grilled pineapple.
I drank a couple of mojitos that Mel made. They were decent. I didn't feel like having more than one or two though.
Right as we were finishing dinner, couple #3 arrived. (Kelsi/Shane).
Shane looked like hell. I think he drove all but an hour or two when Kelsi “made him,” let her take over. Hmmm...
She hadn't brought a swimsuit but somehow we went to the hot tub anyway.
I knew the next day was our “main attraction,” according to everyone. We did a Land Rover led wine tour. Mel and Ryland really wanted to do this, so after asking us (more or less assuming we'd say yes) earlier in the week... I had said Jim and I might sit it out because it was going to cost $70ish per person, or more like $100 after tip for the driver.
They kept talking about how it saved us $60 on the entry for one of the wineries. Or $10 per person. That's not really that much - sorry ditzes.
But she offered to pay for part of it for Jim and I. So we agreed to go. I knew if we backed out, it would cost them a full $140 more. So she paid for roughly just under half of our fares for the driver/rental.
It was nice regardless - even if it benefited the whole crew.
So I got up early to work out for just over an hour Saturday. I was leaving the gym when I spotted Shane. Apparently he had gotten up at 0500 (what? What for?) I had gotten up at like 0730.
I ran into Shane in the lobby as I was leaving the gym. He said they were going to breakfast. Didn't want to drink on an empty and all Mel and Ryland were eating was a bagel each.
They had bought us each a bagel. I went to Safeway after showering and spiffing (I felt pretty and also happy because I had got my work out in). I bought eggs and bacon. (Egg beaters and turkey bacon.)
So I made Jim and I a quick breakfast and then the driver was going to be there at 1100.
This light breakfast was all we would eat until 1930 that night. Fore-shadowing here.
The driver was awesome and we headed out to our first winery. It was pretty good - and had I realized that the end of the tour wouldn't provide “the best wines,” but the ones I liked the least, I might have bought a bottle or two from the first place we stopped at. “J” winery. It had some good wines.
Second winery was not too bad, it was Longboard winery. I bought Jim a shirt there, and got a couple of group photos from the nice lady there. By the third winery, I was getting a pretty heavy buzz. I forget what winery it was, but I really liked their wine and I bought 1 bottle of Zinfandel. They had tasty fig jam and chocolate tarts as well.
I was borderline drunk there.
The driver then asked as we were leaving if we wanted to stop and eat or not. The directive was “no.” I think I could have really used something else in my body other than alcohol at that point, but we went onwards. We had 2 more wineries ahead of us. We went to this tiny family owned winery that was run by a father and 2 sons. The sons had pretty cerrulean blue-green eyes. I took some tastes and then realized that yes. I had hit the drunk threshold. I was no longer buzzed.
I struck up a deep and lengthy conversation with Dave, our driver. About my life's plans. (Insert sheepish face.) But Dave was nice. Then we headed to our last winery. On the windy road, some local was speeding through and crossed the centerline. Dave hit the brakes hard and though I was buckled in, it seems I was the only one who was near anything with a corner, and my good knee collided with the center console of the Land Rover. Ow. I played it down. But it really hurt. I was just glad Dave was driving and we weren't smashed in a head on because of some asshole driving the back roads of Windsor, California.
We stopped at the last place and I was unimpressed by the wines, and the girls running the tasting. At long last it was time to go home. I was a bit hungry but too drunk still to know whether I felt it.
We had a lot of fun. Now this is where things begin to turn. I knew I was hungry, it was like 1800 when we got back to the lodging. Everyone else went to lay down and nap. I wasn't tired. I stayed up playing with photos till Mel came up and hung out for a moment with me. Eventually we suggested to go out to eat.
I had no idea Mel wanted to have a “fancy,” dinner. Both Jim and I, not being accustomed to drinking at all on a regular basis, were still too drunk to drive. Apparently the others had sobered enough. Well, jeez.
So we went in the car with Shane and Kelsi. And Mel and Ryland took the lead taking us to this ritzy little town nearby for food. I didn't know where we were going or what the plan was. Hindsight, Jim and I would have stayed home and sobered and then went to dinner by ourselves in a comfortable fashion.
We get to Headsburg. Walk around. By now I have done a bit of walking in higher heels and my knee - having cooperated all day, is tiring of the abuse. Doesn't feel too bad yet, but as my buzz wears thinner, so does my idea that my knee is dandy slowly.
My bloodsugar is doing wonky things, and we kept stopping at miminum $20 a plate establishments. The first one I said I didn't want anything on the menu. I didn't! There was no food that I wanted. I didn't ask them to leave, but they did. I would have preferred if they had stayed and we had wandered somewhere else. I am still buzzed though, my communication and bloodsugar are fucked. I rely a bit on Jim which isn't bad, but he states things differently than me. And isn't as good at talking to my friends as I am sometimes.
We stop out front of a grill and I think it looks good. Mel says, “there's nothing on the menu I want.” I realize quickly she wants a creme-de-la-creme type meal. And I want a faster food meal.
Shit.
At long last after finding closed establishments and this and that I try and understand what the posted menus outside but agree to the next one. Until I see it was more expensive than the first one. Then I'm getting a bit depressed. We'd been walking at an insane pace and my leg is a bit crazy and I am feeling super-hungry but not really.
It's getting worse for me. So I tell Jim I wasn't going to order anything here. I was confused about what to do, but I didn't want to affect everyone else. But my verbalization skills are shot.
So he tells Ryland that we're going to explore and find somewhere else.
Enter 2 couples talking shit about the cheapskates after we leave, no doubt. Jim and I are both frugal. We don't like spending $60-$80 on a meal unless we really want that food. None of the food that was out there was anything I WANTED to eat at all. Honestly.
It broke my heart to think of just buying food to buy food because everyone else wanted that stuff. I didn't want to pay huge amounts of money for that. And I knew both of the ladies weren't going to buy their own dinners. Their men were going to take care of it. I don't mind anymore that Jim doesn't buy me food or anything. There was a brief time I was envious of other women who get treated by their men. But a funny thing happened very recently. I began realizing that I'm better off and happier for my situation.
Took me a long time to realize that I like my situation just as it is. No grass is greener concept.
I am frustrated being in this ritzy almost more expensive than Kirkland area food area of town. If that makes sense. It's EXPENSIVE no matter where you go. We go to the grill and buy over priced burgers that are priced to pay $1 for every extra piece of topping. Plain burgers are $11. You want cheese? bacon? onions? That'll be another $1-$2 per item.
It floored us. We ended up spending more than I wanted, but less than it could have been. We ate and enjoyed ourselves a little. I was still a bit weird feeling. It was all the liquor, it was the awkwardness and being trapped without my own means of transportation... I didn't even really know where Headsburg WAS.
Cutesy part of town that reminded me of places I hated.
I was frustrated cause Jim called Mel. I didn't tell him that I would have liked to have spoken, but I was too lazy to ask for the phone. Stupid me. I hear him try and get them to meet us at the park so we can go home. Little did I know then she had mentioned wandering around the town. I didn't know this. No one told me. Jim didn't tell me. We are almost at the park where we're going to meet when Jim and I see them heading into a candy shop. We approach and follow and no one acknowledges us or says hi.
It's a bit weird. It's like we're being ignored...
But I didn't quite understand that yet. I was more like asking if we were going to head out and no one responded to me. I was feeling weird and getting more frustrated. Eventually when I am beginning to swear and get mad, saying I wanted to go home and not wander, Kelsi approaches Mel and a little too friendly, asks Mel in a super artificial friendly voice whether Mel wants to wander around town and look at stuff. At long last I say, “Why is no one listening to me!?!” and she turns to me and says, “Maybe someone would listen to you if you didn't have such a bad attitude!” in the bitchiest voice she can muster.
So I retort back a bit too immaturely, I must admit, “well maybe it'd be easier for me to have less of a bad attitude if I had just freeloaded a $20 meal off MY boyfriend!”
With that, I had struck a nerve. I'm not particular bitter or bitchy or snide, but I had played up my worst because it had been a really shitty after evening to the whole drinking ordeal. She then shot back, “Don't talk to me Angela~! Just don't talk to me!!!” and I said, “Fine! I won't fucking talk to you. No problem.”
And she storms off and is rushing to their car where we drive home. I feel weird. I have no idea how to handle it after the silent awkward drive home. To be honest I wondered if she was going to try and get Shane to leave us there. Leave without us. But they didn't.
I went to our room and on the drive I had contemplated the idea of heading out early. I knew the evening was screwed and bound to be awkward, and that we were going to switch to the other room - requiring us to move all our luggage anyway. If I was going to have to move my luggage, might as well be to the car, I had been contemplating all weekend whether it was going to suck too bad on the drive home to begin with all in one long stretch. Should we break it up? I had thought. At this point leaving felt like a good option.
Jim tried to get us to talk it out. It was 2 comments, right after all?
I was too freaked out because she was out in the common room fuming. I knew she'd explode on me. I wasn't quite emotionally stable and I knew it. What could I say? I had made comments that I believed were true.
It IS easier to care less about money when it isn't YOUR money that is being spent.
So the implosion went. Jim went out trying to mediate without my knowledge.
(Frustrating, but he is just a problem solver by nature and heart). When she started spitting remarks at him about, “HE could go tell ME that” I needed to go apologize to her and until I did she wasn't speaking to me.
He realized it was futile. Neither of us girls wanted to talk.
I didn't because I was a bit frazzled. How had this first off - offhanded comment, turned into this!?!
Why did I feel so miserable? I had time to analyze all this on the way home, but at that moment - I had no idea why I'd felt so crummy.
Or what happened exactly.
We ended up leaving at 2015 and driving all night long. We got home around 1100 the next day.
Surprised mom, and we also had the rest of Sunday to relax. The original plan had been get up and leave no later than 0500. There was something special about driving until the sun came back up - and working through the super-tiredness and using teamwork to make it home in one long shot of 13-14 hrs together. And Jim displayed some very, very valuable, grounding qualities early in our trip.
He mentioned how trivial and petty the entire thing was. People are the same people before and after crude statements. It changes nothing in the grand scheme, and if I worried less about it made it less of a thing, it would be just that. And If Kelsi couldn't let go, then it was silly.
He reassured me that it wasn't JUST my fault. I recognized I was rude and petulant on one hand, but we also saw that there had to have been some crap talk about us after we left restaurant #2.
Because the 4 of them sort of gave us a cold shoulder. Before we left, Mel had tried to get us to come hang out at the pool and she was clearly trying to make it clear she didn't mean for things to go down that way. But I knew we needed to leave anyway.
I know she had no idea things would get as bad as they did. None the less. I've spoken to no one else other than Jim and the fam since the trip!!!!
Jim missed the dogs sooooo much and so did I. We had a cute little reunion and enjoyed a relaxing Sunday. None the less. SUPER good moments, and super lousy ones happened on the trip. But I think Jim realized how fun mini trips can be. And we both realized a deeper appreciation for each other just by witnessing how other folks live their lives. I could write an entire entry alone on what I feel Jim and I learned through the trip - and I just might later! For now this has to be broken up and truncated!!!! lol.
Wow, what a journey! We'll see if Kelsi and I get on speaking terms any time soon. Such a tiny little things!!!
-Angela