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Dear God,
If you don't give me AIM back I will keep making fanmixes. Millions of them. They will be bad, boring and very, very angsty.
Love, Allie
I love Matt/Mohinder because it's Matt/Mohinder and that's just how awesome it is. They are not nearly as angsty as I usually go for, though with how the second season has been going it may get that way.
This is a collection of songs (and a kind-of fic, as usual) that I think go with the relationship between Detective Matthew Parkman and Dr. Mohinder Suresh. There are spoilers for nothing besides the fact that they live together and are raising Molly Walker. It starts before season 2 does and flows into the start of it but totally AU.
*Note for Home: I apologize for using all of the lyrics. I really, really do but that's my Matt/Mohinder song so. Yeah. Sorry.
Tracing - John Mayer
Do you ever get the feeling
that we started in the middle
or have you ever had the sense
that we've been lying just a little
I mean come on
it's not like we've known ourselves that long
and I can't say I really blame you
for being bored with the beginning
always staring at the score
to figure out who's barely winning
but don't you know
there is a reason strong moves slow
There are sticky bandages wrapped around Matt’s chest and healing wounds itch something awful. There’s no Molly here to climb all over the couch and talk a hundred miles a minute. Only Mohinder, seated quietly at his desk and Matt twitching on the couch counting down the seconds.
“What are you doing?” bursts forth suddenly, the silence (forced because Matt could so easily dip his mind into Mohinder’s and let science and Hindi brighten this dreary apartment) is shattered and he flinches only slightly.
“Working,” is clipped and harsh. Matt wonders if this is how Molly feels when Mohinder is angry at her, the childish urge to curl up pout that he is convinced is mostly pain medication and cabin fever. He can’t blame either of those when he shoves his mind into Mohinder’s in a moment of pettiness and catches ‘can’t be silent for a minute, can he?’ before everything shuts down.
The doctor doesn’t suspect anything when Matt mumbles he needs something to drink and disappears.
Laughter - Josh Rouse
Thinkin' so much my crowded head became sore
Fell back into the place I was before
Reasons long enough to not let show
I follow through this once because I said so
I think I got it all figured out
I think I got it made
I think I got it all figured out
I think my plan is safe from laughter
From laughter, no
I'll wait
I'll wait the day
Matt heals oh so slowly. It feels like time alone is dragging on for him and rushing by with the moments he spends with Molly. He can’t stay because he’ll get better and there won’t be any excuses to lean on. He doesn’t quite see how much Mohinder depends on him to be there until he goes to the store one evening. He’s gone for two hours because the air feels wonderful and there’s no hurry. When he knocks on the door it flies open and Molly’s wet face the first thing he feels when she presses it into his still healing abdomen. She shakes with fear and her thoughts are rolling together in a stream of ‘don’t leave don’t leave’.
“Where were you?” Mohinder accuses, a white-knuckle grip on the counter to stop the shaking in his hands. Matt holds up a bag that is weighed down with coffee and frozen peas and everyone spares a moment to think, then Molly laughs and Mohinder does, too.
Later that night he feels Mohinder’s hand on his shoulder as he’s getting ready for bed and a key is pressed into his hand. “Leave a note next time, okay?”
Look After You - The Fray
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
…
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
Hospital bills start to pile up and Mohinder looks at them with an expression of weary acceptance. Pills, surgery, check ups and straightens the pile, putting it off for another day.
Matt notices, frowns and the next time Mohinder can bring himself to look at the numbers again the bills are gone. He asks Molly because she can’t seem to understand the difference between paperwork and scrap that she can color on. She claims innocence and so it remains a mystery until he catches Matt at the kitchen table, filling out checks with money Mohinder knows he doesn’t have. He opens his mouth to say something but Matt already knows what will come out without reading any minds.
“Don’t worry about it, okay? I have everything covered.” Calm words and perhaps a little bit of a mental push that neither know is possible and Mohinder nods, letting himself be reassured. When he figures out that the bill for the apartment has been somehow paid without any money out of his pocket he lets that go, too. Matt doesn’t worry because he has a tiny bag of diamonds tucked away that no one needs to know about.
We’re Just Friends - Wilco
Forget the implications
Infatuations end
If loves so easy, why is it hard
I can't imagine ever being apart
I'll come back to you
It’d be brand new
But I promise
We're just friends
They have a routine in the mornings. Whoever wakes first gets the shower and the other goes into the kitchen and makes coffee and tea. It’s domestic and Matt pretends he doesn’t get a thrill out of it when he walks into the kitchen as sees Mohinder pouring just the right enough amount of sugar into his coffee.
Things change suddenly when the plan Bennett has fed Mohinder comes to the surface and of course Matt objects, he’s not stupid but this convoluted idea couldn’t be more so.
“It’s the only plan we have!” Mohinder is shouting and Matt is almost surprised to silence but his temper flares again.
“It’s a horrible plan,” he growls, pressing his fingertips into his palms so that he doesn’t grab the other man and shake some sense into him. “The Company is bad news, Mohinder, and this will only put you in their line of fire.” He wants to finish the argument but Suresh huffs and takes his tea into his bedroom.
The next morning Matt pretends the he doesn’t feel a little guilt when there isn’t any tea brewing for Mohinder after his shower.
Everything We Had - The Academy Is…
It was the only place I'd never known
Turned off the light on my way out the door
I will be watching wherever you go
through the eyes of a fly on the wall
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist
His flight is in three hours and Mohinder is dead tired. Molly told him he better wake her up before he goes but he’s standing outside her bedroom door watching her mouth puff out sweet, little girl snores. He closes her door as silently as he opened it and turns to find Matt standing at the end of their joke-for-a-hallway. He has Mohinder’s carry-on in hand and holds it out, a peace offering.
“Thank you,” Mohinder whispers and Matt nods, eyes hazy with sleep but still sharp enough to catch the way Mohinder’s skin only hides a blush to a degree. He smiles slightly, amused but also a little sad.
“Be careful,” he says, voice low but clear. There’s no desperation there, not messages that he will miss his geeky roommate but it still makes Mohinder want to shiver and grin like a teenager with a crush.
He turns off the kitchen light when he leaves because Matt should go back to bed, it’s early.
Falling is Like This - Ani Difranco
Feels like reckless driving when were talking
Its fun while it lasts, and its faster than walking
But no ones going to sympathize when we crash
They’ll say you hit what you head for, you get what you ask
And well say we didn’t know, we didn’t even try
One minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky
It’s not quite clear when Mohinder decided he was well and truly screwed. It’s four in the morning in Jerusalem but Matt and Molly are waiting for his call at home over a meal that Mohinder hopes has a little bit of nutritional value.
He dials the number on his cell because the numbers make it more real, somehow, that he’s calling home. It rings three times before Matt’s voice makes the cheesy hotel room fade away. He can hear Molly shouting in the background and he laughs for the first time in three days.
The short call grounds him just enough to make it through the rest of the week.
*Home - Azure Ray
Just an hour and we'll be home
With my family that I chose
You're my family
And on the pavement still gripping the phone
You came and wrapped your arms around my soul
And we were shaking and you're so much a part of me
And so this is why I’m here
When we called you
You came so fast
And sat beside me while hours and days past
I'll always thank you for that
And there you were
With your heart made of gold
So strong, the only thing holding us up
And we knew you would always be so close
And so this is why I’m here
And then there was you
You always made us laugh
And you would help us to find the right path
And there is no one as full of life
And so this is why I’m here
The flight is crowded and Mohinder doesn’t have the patience for any reading because he can feel every mile they travel in his bones. He passes out eventually and when he wakes it’s in his city. Time drags on and speeds up in a pattern Mohinder can’t find as he get’s closer to the baggage area and then he can see Molly because she’s on Matt’s shoulders, eyes already pinned on him because she’s been following his movements since she woke up.
Moments later he find himself running to scoop her up in the biggest hug he can manage with his two bags. “I missed you,” he says and she squeaks something unintelligible back but it’s the most beautiful sound he’s heard in days. They break apart so that Matt can take one of his bags, politely asking about the flight and Mohinder’s hug takes him totally by surprise.
“It’s good to see you, Matt.” There’s warmth spreading from the places they meet and Molly’s laughing and darting around them. Mohinder wants to kiss Matt but he doesn’t.
Things don’t get awkward until they’re back at the apartment and Molly’s been tucked into bed with promises of breakfast Mohinder’s cooked. They stand very carefully two feet apart until Matt decides that the Hindi carefully masking his roommate’s thoughts is just that, a cover. So he reaches out and tugs them back together and kisses Mohinder carefully and without all the desperation he’s felt for weeks.
They separate, Matt’s face heated and mouth a little parted. He starts to apologize, but Mohinder kisses him and it’s like punctuation at the end of a very good book.
Download the mix here.
If you don't give me AIM back I will keep making fanmixes. Millions of them. They will be bad, boring and very, very angsty.
Love, Allie
I love Matt/Mohinder because it's Matt/Mohinder and that's just how awesome it is. They are not nearly as angsty as I usually go for, though with how the second season has been going it may get that way.
This is a collection of songs (and a kind-of fic, as usual) that I think go with the relationship between Detective Matthew Parkman and Dr. Mohinder Suresh. There are spoilers for nothing besides the fact that they live together and are raising Molly Walker. It starts before season 2 does and flows into the start of it but totally AU.
*Note for Home: I apologize for using all of the lyrics. I really, really do but that's my Matt/Mohinder song so. Yeah. Sorry.
Tracing - John Mayer
Do you ever get the feeling
that we started in the middle
or have you ever had the sense
that we've been lying just a little
I mean come on
it's not like we've known ourselves that long
and I can't say I really blame you
for being bored with the beginning
always staring at the score
to figure out who's barely winning
but don't you know
there is a reason strong moves slow
There are sticky bandages wrapped around Matt’s chest and healing wounds itch something awful. There’s no Molly here to climb all over the couch and talk a hundred miles a minute. Only Mohinder, seated quietly at his desk and Matt twitching on the couch counting down the seconds.
“What are you doing?” bursts forth suddenly, the silence (forced because Matt could so easily dip his mind into Mohinder’s and let science and Hindi brighten this dreary apartment) is shattered and he flinches only slightly.
“Working,” is clipped and harsh. Matt wonders if this is how Molly feels when Mohinder is angry at her, the childish urge to curl up pout that he is convinced is mostly pain medication and cabin fever. He can’t blame either of those when he shoves his mind into Mohinder’s in a moment of pettiness and catches ‘can’t be silent for a minute, can he?’ before everything shuts down.
The doctor doesn’t suspect anything when Matt mumbles he needs something to drink and disappears.
Laughter - Josh Rouse
Thinkin' so much my crowded head became sore
Fell back into the place I was before
Reasons long enough to not let show
I follow through this once because I said so
I think I got it all figured out
I think I got it made
I think I got it all figured out
I think my plan is safe from laughter
From laughter, no
I'll wait
I'll wait the day
Matt heals oh so slowly. It feels like time alone is dragging on for him and rushing by with the moments he spends with Molly. He can’t stay because he’ll get better and there won’t be any excuses to lean on. He doesn’t quite see how much Mohinder depends on him to be there until he goes to the store one evening. He’s gone for two hours because the air feels wonderful and there’s no hurry. When he knocks on the door it flies open and Molly’s wet face the first thing he feels when she presses it into his still healing abdomen. She shakes with fear and her thoughts are rolling together in a stream of ‘don’t leave don’t leave’.
“Where were you?” Mohinder accuses, a white-knuckle grip on the counter to stop the shaking in his hands. Matt holds up a bag that is weighed down with coffee and frozen peas and everyone spares a moment to think, then Molly laughs and Mohinder does, too.
Later that night he feels Mohinder’s hand on his shoulder as he’s getting ready for bed and a key is pressed into his hand. “Leave a note next time, okay?”
Look After You - The Fray
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
…
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
Hospital bills start to pile up and Mohinder looks at them with an expression of weary acceptance. Pills, surgery, check ups and straightens the pile, putting it off for another day.
Matt notices, frowns and the next time Mohinder can bring himself to look at the numbers again the bills are gone. He asks Molly because she can’t seem to understand the difference between paperwork and scrap that she can color on. She claims innocence and so it remains a mystery until he catches Matt at the kitchen table, filling out checks with money Mohinder knows he doesn’t have. He opens his mouth to say something but Matt already knows what will come out without reading any minds.
“Don’t worry about it, okay? I have everything covered.” Calm words and perhaps a little bit of a mental push that neither know is possible and Mohinder nods, letting himself be reassured. When he figures out that the bill for the apartment has been somehow paid without any money out of his pocket he lets that go, too. Matt doesn’t worry because he has a tiny bag of diamonds tucked away that no one needs to know about.
We’re Just Friends - Wilco
Forget the implications
Infatuations end
If loves so easy, why is it hard
I can't imagine ever being apart
I'll come back to you
It’d be brand new
But I promise
We're just friends
They have a routine in the mornings. Whoever wakes first gets the shower and the other goes into the kitchen and makes coffee and tea. It’s domestic and Matt pretends he doesn’t get a thrill out of it when he walks into the kitchen as sees Mohinder pouring just the right enough amount of sugar into his coffee.
Things change suddenly when the plan Bennett has fed Mohinder comes to the surface and of course Matt objects, he’s not stupid but this convoluted idea couldn’t be more so.
“It’s the only plan we have!” Mohinder is shouting and Matt is almost surprised to silence but his temper flares again.
“It’s a horrible plan,” he growls, pressing his fingertips into his palms so that he doesn’t grab the other man and shake some sense into him. “The Company is bad news, Mohinder, and this will only put you in their line of fire.” He wants to finish the argument but Suresh huffs and takes his tea into his bedroom.
The next morning Matt pretends the he doesn’t feel a little guilt when there isn’t any tea brewing for Mohinder after his shower.
Everything We Had - The Academy Is…
It was the only place I'd never known
Turned off the light on my way out the door
I will be watching wherever you go
through the eyes of a fly on the wall
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist
His flight is in three hours and Mohinder is dead tired. Molly told him he better wake her up before he goes but he’s standing outside her bedroom door watching her mouth puff out sweet, little girl snores. He closes her door as silently as he opened it and turns to find Matt standing at the end of their joke-for-a-hallway. He has Mohinder’s carry-on in hand and holds it out, a peace offering.
“Thank you,” Mohinder whispers and Matt nods, eyes hazy with sleep but still sharp enough to catch the way Mohinder’s skin only hides a blush to a degree. He smiles slightly, amused but also a little sad.
“Be careful,” he says, voice low but clear. There’s no desperation there, not messages that he will miss his geeky roommate but it still makes Mohinder want to shiver and grin like a teenager with a crush.
He turns off the kitchen light when he leaves because Matt should go back to bed, it’s early.
Falling is Like This - Ani Difranco
Feels like reckless driving when were talking
Its fun while it lasts, and its faster than walking
But no ones going to sympathize when we crash
They’ll say you hit what you head for, you get what you ask
And well say we didn’t know, we didn’t even try
One minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky
It’s not quite clear when Mohinder decided he was well and truly screwed. It’s four in the morning in Jerusalem but Matt and Molly are waiting for his call at home over a meal that Mohinder hopes has a little bit of nutritional value.
He dials the number on his cell because the numbers make it more real, somehow, that he’s calling home. It rings three times before Matt’s voice makes the cheesy hotel room fade away. He can hear Molly shouting in the background and he laughs for the first time in three days.
The short call grounds him just enough to make it through the rest of the week.
*Home - Azure Ray
Just an hour and we'll be home
With my family that I chose
You're my family
And on the pavement still gripping the phone
You came and wrapped your arms around my soul
And we were shaking and you're so much a part of me
And so this is why I’m here
When we called you
You came so fast
And sat beside me while hours and days past
I'll always thank you for that
And there you were
With your heart made of gold
So strong, the only thing holding us up
And we knew you would always be so close
And so this is why I’m here
And then there was you
You always made us laugh
And you would help us to find the right path
And there is no one as full of life
And so this is why I’m here
The flight is crowded and Mohinder doesn’t have the patience for any reading because he can feel every mile they travel in his bones. He passes out eventually and when he wakes it’s in his city. Time drags on and speeds up in a pattern Mohinder can’t find as he get’s closer to the baggage area and then he can see Molly because she’s on Matt’s shoulders, eyes already pinned on him because she’s been following his movements since she woke up.
Moments later he find himself running to scoop her up in the biggest hug he can manage with his two bags. “I missed you,” he says and she squeaks something unintelligible back but it’s the most beautiful sound he’s heard in days. They break apart so that Matt can take one of his bags, politely asking about the flight and Mohinder’s hug takes him totally by surprise.
“It’s good to see you, Matt.” There’s warmth spreading from the places they meet and Molly’s laughing and darting around them. Mohinder wants to kiss Matt but he doesn’t.
Things don’t get awkward until they’re back at the apartment and Molly’s been tucked into bed with promises of breakfast Mohinder’s cooked. They stand very carefully two feet apart until Matt decides that the Hindi carefully masking his roommate’s thoughts is just that, a cover. So he reaches out and tugs them back together and kisses Mohinder carefully and without all the desperation he’s felt for weeks.
They separate, Matt’s face heated and mouth a little parted. He starts to apologize, but Mohinder kisses him and it’s like punctuation at the end of a very good book.
Download the mix here.