I wish I had more guts... haha.
Oh man. So I'm not going to grad school right away. I didn't apply, I haven't taken the GREs and to be honest I don't think I would have gotten in anyway, due to the fact that I do not have any portfolio or experience. I mean SFSU wants me to have previous experience with 16mm film. They don't even teach that at UCSC. *sigh*
So now the internship that I was going to apply for I can't get for various reasons. I'm glad and yet pissed at the same time. I want to be in the Bay Area no L.A. and I feel guilty for being glad that I found a small detail that prevents me from applying to this internship. I feel guilty for being afraid to move to L.A. all alone. I shouldn't...but I do. I'm supposed to be able to do that. I went clear across the ocean and I'm afraid to move to L.A. for three months. Go figure.
I need to find more internships.
What I need to do when I graduate.
Take some classes. Photography, editing, film, computer, animation, whatever.
Find some internships that let me have some hands on experience with this stuff.
Take the GREs
Apply to grad school
Find somewhere to live
I try not to think about it. I really need to concentrate on my projects right now...not graduation. But the more I think about it the more frightened I get. Sometimes I feel almost petrified by the very idea.
I'm very excited about my Documentary though. I really hope it turns out well. YEY for connections! I got Dr. Holmes from the vets office at home to be my subject. So next week I will be driving up to LC. I'll be there late the 14th until early the 15th I'm guessing. Or maybe I will just drive back down the evening of the 15th. I don't know.
Is it spring break yet? No...wait...Spring break means graduation is just that much closer. AAHHHH!
O_o
So now the internship that I was going to apply for I can't get for various reasons. I'm glad and yet pissed at the same time. I want to be in the Bay Area no L.A. and I feel guilty for being glad that I found a small detail that prevents me from applying to this internship. I feel guilty for being afraid to move to L.A. all alone. I shouldn't...but I do. I'm supposed to be able to do that. I went clear across the ocean and I'm afraid to move to L.A. for three months. Go figure.
I need to find more internships.
What I need to do when I graduate.
Take some classes. Photography, editing, film, computer, animation, whatever.
Find some internships that let me have some hands on experience with this stuff.
Take the GREs
Apply to grad school
Find somewhere to live
I try not to think about it. I really need to concentrate on my projects right now...not graduation. But the more I think about it the more frightened I get. Sometimes I feel almost petrified by the very idea.
I'm very excited about my Documentary though. I really hope it turns out well. YEY for connections! I got Dr. Holmes from the vets office at home to be my subject. So next week I will be driving up to LC. I'll be there late the 14th until early the 15th I'm guessing. Or maybe I will just drive back down the evening of the 15th. I don't know.
Is it spring break yet? No...wait...Spring break means graduation is just that much closer. AAHHHH!
O_o