lets go dance to the light of the moon
so, babysitting once again springs upon me. and having to watch the kids means i had to give up the plans that i was looking forward to.
i resent my family so much sometimes, and i still haven't decided if that is right or not right to do. Its right for me to feel this way because i feel it. sometimes i just feel wronged. the problem is (or one of them at least) is that all of us are trying to do too much, and the stuff that doesnt get done ends up on someone's lap. someone always draws the short straw. and i hate when its me. its wrong for me to feel this way, however, because its THEM. its my family. i love them, and i need them, and i just end up feeling selfish for feeling negative in the first place, and especially for thinking that this resentment is justifiable.
these types of feelings have also occured in the english books ive been reading, Death of a Salesman, and Glass Menagarie. whether consciously or subconsciously, i think about what i read in english a whole lot.
so ive been pretty girly lately. i made a friend at my brother's baseball game, her name is Eliza and she's 3 and a half. i miss saying that i was an age and a HALF. no one says, im 16 and a half. it means much more when you are 3. she asked me if i had any toys, and i said no, cause i really didn't think i did. So, she started rummaging through my stuff, and found my bag full of crayola markers, and then she found my yo-yo, and my lip-sunglasses. Well, i was thouroughly proved wrong by that point.
i love the name Eliza. i think i got an impression at a young age (probably from a book) that a girl named Eliza would be spunky and smart as can be.
im so tired of school. gaaaaahd. just let me live for a little while, i need to dig my toes in the sand and stay up late. by this time, i want school to be done, nada mas, no me importa. and i have SAT 2's on saturday. its so bullshit.
i like birds.
i resent my family so much sometimes, and i still haven't decided if that is right or not right to do. Its right for me to feel this way because i feel it. sometimes i just feel wronged. the problem is (or one of them at least) is that all of us are trying to do too much, and the stuff that doesnt get done ends up on someone's lap. someone always draws the short straw. and i hate when its me. its wrong for me to feel this way, however, because its THEM. its my family. i love them, and i need them, and i just end up feeling selfish for feeling negative in the first place, and especially for thinking that this resentment is justifiable.
these types of feelings have also occured in the english books ive been reading, Death of a Salesman, and Glass Menagarie. whether consciously or subconsciously, i think about what i read in english a whole lot.
so ive been pretty girly lately. i made a friend at my brother's baseball game, her name is Eliza and she's 3 and a half. i miss saying that i was an age and a HALF. no one says, im 16 and a half. it means much more when you are 3. she asked me if i had any toys, and i said no, cause i really didn't think i did. So, she started rummaging through my stuff, and found my bag full of crayola markers, and then she found my yo-yo, and my lip-sunglasses. Well, i was thouroughly proved wrong by that point.
i love the name Eliza. i think i got an impression at a young age (probably from a book) that a girl named Eliza would be spunky and smart as can be.
im so tired of school. gaaaaahd. just let me live for a little while, i need to dig my toes in the sand and stay up late. by this time, i want school to be done, nada mas, no me importa. and i have SAT 2's on saturday. its so bullshit.
i like birds.