*___*
So i'm still awake... its 6AM.
probably not good for the sickness i felt yesterday... but whatever... i just have to deal. hopefully it won't erupt into a full fledged stomach episode, though.
I have these things that happen to me every once in awhile, like, randomly. Its a stomach ache thats completely crippling and i get really pale, cold sweat and i can barely move or breathe... even people talking to me makes it worse, all i can do is just lay down and wait for it to go away.
i attest it to fucking up my stomach with the terrible eating habits i harbored in high school and my first two years of college... but of course, when i go to the doctor for it i ask them "could it be because i was anorexic/bulimic?" and they say "no no no..." and change the subject, insist that is only irritable bowel syndrome and pass me some pills.
wtf. the SECOND you say "ED" they flip out... every single time. its like, you're supposed to be a DOCTOR for chrissake.
anyway... so yeah, when i got home i felt better as stated previously, and right after i wrote the previous entry, i fell asleep for about an hour and a half. So then i started working at about 9:30pm... and i've been working up until just now. its making me feel a little better to see some things being accomplished... i'm just not looking forward to class. :/ it doesn't actually start until noon, but i decided i'd be awesome and schedule my "exit interview" for this morning at 9:30am. rad. not.
so if i didn't have that damn interview i could possibly sleep for about 5 hours... but no, and i know if i reschedule it, i won't go. or i'll forget, or whathaveyou.
so i guess i'm going. and i don't really know what to do with myself for the next two hours... everything else i have to do seems like a really big project... something that requires concentration and the majority of my mental capacity, which has dwindled down to hardly anything at this point... so i don't trust myself to do them... but then i think, if i can't do them now... what the hell am i going to do in class today?
i'm crossing my fingers for a second wind by noon that lasts at least until i get home... maybe adrenaline will kick in... i hope... i haven't had any caffeine in a few hours as i finished the pot of coffee at 2am... so now i'm drinking vitamin water... i think i'll get some starbucks or something before i go... i don't know... maybe i'll get lucky and the interview will be really short and i can go to the classroom and take a catnap before class starts. most people probably won't be there yet, the classroom is open, but most people pull all-nighters on monday night and then sleep in on wednesday. we'll see what happens.
ugh. this sucks and i know this isn't the last night this is going to happen. i just really can't wait for this to be over, it will be such a relief. :/
probably not good for the sickness i felt yesterday... but whatever... i just have to deal. hopefully it won't erupt into a full fledged stomach episode, though.
I have these things that happen to me every once in awhile, like, randomly. Its a stomach ache thats completely crippling and i get really pale, cold sweat and i can barely move or breathe... even people talking to me makes it worse, all i can do is just lay down and wait for it to go away.
i attest it to fucking up my stomach with the terrible eating habits i harbored in high school and my first two years of college... but of course, when i go to the doctor for it i ask them "could it be because i was anorexic/bulimic?" and they say "no no no..." and change the subject, insist that is only irritable bowel syndrome and pass me some pills.
wtf. the SECOND you say "ED" they flip out... every single time. its like, you're supposed to be a DOCTOR for chrissake.
anyway... so yeah, when i got home i felt better as stated previously, and right after i wrote the previous entry, i fell asleep for about an hour and a half. So then i started working at about 9:30pm... and i've been working up until just now. its making me feel a little better to see some things being accomplished... i'm just not looking forward to class. :/ it doesn't actually start until noon, but i decided i'd be awesome and schedule my "exit interview" for this morning at 9:30am. rad. not.
so if i didn't have that damn interview i could possibly sleep for about 5 hours... but no, and i know if i reschedule it, i won't go. or i'll forget, or whathaveyou.
so i guess i'm going. and i don't really know what to do with myself for the next two hours... everything else i have to do seems like a really big project... something that requires concentration and the majority of my mental capacity, which has dwindled down to hardly anything at this point... so i don't trust myself to do them... but then i think, if i can't do them now... what the hell am i going to do in class today?
i'm crossing my fingers for a second wind by noon that lasts at least until i get home... maybe adrenaline will kick in... i hope... i haven't had any caffeine in a few hours as i finished the pot of coffee at 2am... so now i'm drinking vitamin water... i think i'll get some starbucks or something before i go... i don't know... maybe i'll get lucky and the interview will be really short and i can go to the classroom and take a catnap before class starts. most people probably won't be there yet, the classroom is open, but most people pull all-nighters on monday night and then sleep in on wednesday. we'll see what happens.
ugh. this sucks and i know this isn't the last night this is going to happen. i just really can't wait for this to be over, it will be such a relief. :/