Day 18: Looking Back in Anger: Daredevil
Welcome to what is going to become a recurring theme here (since I have another 347 of these to do), “Looking Back in Anger,” where I take something I loved, and re-evaluate it with contemporary eyes. I’m not going to pick on or judge media for things the movie really can’t help, say, for having shitty special effects, unless the special effects were considered shitty at the time. I always hate when videogame magazines go back and review old videogames and dock them points for having not as tight controls as modern games, or even for having sub-par graphics. It’s silly, and yet, here we are.
So without, further ado, I give you our hosts 2003 Matt (M03) and 2008 Matt (M08) and our first topic of discussion 2003’s Daredevil.
M03: Totally kick-ass.
M08: Not that great, considering all the material it “borrowed” from, one would think it could pull out more than a few jewels.
M03: What’re you, gay, or something? I turn gay in the next five years? It was all the drama club shit, wasn’t it?
M08: No, you just stop becoming a fucking mouth breather.
Matt 2023: You’re still a mouth breather.
M08: Oh, fuck off!
M03: Yeah!
*M03 and M08 high five each other. M23 leaves, probably to take his kids to dance or sew an apron or some stupid shit. 2023 Matt is a fucking sell-out.*
M08: That guy’s a damn wiener kid. Man. Wiener man.
M03: Kevin Wiernerman.
M08: He is a wiener. Much like anyone who likes Daredevil.
M03: You’re a fucking fucker. This movie had some of the best villains in a Marvel movie. Bullseye was a psycho fuckin’ killer, just like in the comic. He got off on murdering people, and used his powers in totally kick-ass ways. He caught the stained glass and then flung it at DD, and not to mention he figures out about the enhanced senses, because he’s not a fucking moron, and uses that against him.
M08: I’ll give you the stained glass thing, but the last fight was a total bitch-out.
M03: It was vicious! They’re beating the crap out of each other; it’s like a super-powered street fight.
M08: Yeah, until the part where the fight gets decided by some police sniper.
M03: It was hardcore as fuck when Murdock threw his ass out the window and on to a cop car.
M08: A little out of character.
M03: How do you fuckin’ figure? Yeah, it was lame as hell when he let the guy get hit by the train in the beginning, but last time I checked Murdock threw him off a roof, or a wire or something, and got him paralyzed when he killed Elektra in the comics. And on top of that, Daredevil made the guy play Russian roulette in his hospital room, when Bulls could stop him. Bullseye brings out the worst in Daredevil, and the movie got that.
M08: Very true. Bullseye is one of Marvel’s best villains, and the Daredevil/Bullseye nemesis dynamic is one of the comics’ best and richest. They should have just focused on them hating each other, and then saving Elektra for later flick.
M03: You’re just saying that because the Elektra they cast sucked.
M08: We can’t really say she sucked. She was in the movie for like 20 minutes, and the dialogue was awful because they had to get across her entire origin, character, and the actual narrative arc done in those 20 minutes. There was no subtlety to her, just clunky, hollow dialogue. And not to be that guy, but would it have killed them to get someone who looked Mediterranean? It’s just that, Elektra, in the comics looks like-like…
M03: An even more exotic Salma Hayek? *beat* I just gave myself a boner.
M08: …yeah…I got one, too…
M03: It’s not gay. We’re the same dude.
M08: It’s a little gay.
M03: Whatever. Prude. Shitty casting aside, the movie has great action. Spider-man is a little fresher in my mind, and let me remind you how boring the action scenes were.
M08: Except the first chase after Uncle Ben gets shot. Oh, and the little coda at the end, where it’s just web-slinging.
M03: My point exactly. The best parts of the movie were either he’s using his spider powers to swing from webs at someone, or just dicking around the fucking city. The rest of the time, he’s jumping around razor sharp boomerangs, or just standing there, and trading punches with the Green Goblin like every fucking guy, in every fucking movie, ever fucking made. Where’s the agility? Where’s the quickness? Spidey’s not like the Flash. He’s not flat out fast, but in short bursts, he’s quick as fuck, and there’s none of that in the movie. Daredevil at least used his powers in a lot of different ways, and I refer you to the church fight we talked about earlier. The Kingpin fight was great since he fought like the fucking Kingpin. He’s not as fast as DD, but if he gets a hold of you, you’re fucked.
M08: That’s a great point, but we’re not comparing Daredevil to Spider-man. We’re talking about whether or not Daredevil was good, or at least worthy of the praise I heaped on it when I was you. One of this movie’s biggest problems, the writer/director might be too big of a fan of Daredevil, because he tries to cram in all of Hornhead’s greatest stories into one movie. Instead of doing one or two well, they did five poorly. They should have done the origin and Kingpin, and maybe Bullseye, in the first movie. That works organically. Daredevil is investigating some random crimes as vigilante and as an attorney, and it leads him to Kingpin. Kingpin sees this guy coming for him, and brings in Bullseye, and they start hating each other. Daredevil, because Bullseye is killing people to get to him, and Bullseye, because Daredevil is making the world’s greatest assassin look like the world’s biggest asshole. In the second movie, since Bullseye failed, Kingpin gets Elektra. She falls for Matt, but tries to kill Daredevil. Then in the third either do Bullseye killing Elektra, or the “Born Again” story arc.
M03: For fuck’s sake, dude. Do I even enjoy movies in the future? It’s a fun movie. It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t have to be.
M08: That’s a horseshit answer and you know it. Daredevil has been one of Marvel’s best written titles. Frank Miller perfected superhero noir. Then Joe Kelly gave Murdock some more humanity; Bendis created a world for Daredevil to exist in, and Brubaker added a whole lot of grit. If you give it a pass because you liked the fights you excuse; A.) terrible, hollow, expository heavy dialogue; B.) a script that’s too busy and still accomplishes nothing, and C.) the mishandling of characters coming to film from a genre where they have decades of history.
M03: But the genre is still young, and this one used the character’s powers well. They obviously liked the character, and there was lot of fan service in this one. I’ll give you the dialogue, and the story, but it wasn’t boring to watch, and I had a good time. Given the newness of the genre, things will get better, but right now, this might just be the best Marvel movie so far.
M08: Dude…Blade 2.
M03: Oh shit, yeah. The first one was great, the second was better. I heard we’re getting a third one.
M08: Yeeaaaahhh… Get a little excited for that one.
M03: Seriously? Fuck.
M08: I know. I know. Blade 2’s kickass, and the next good Marvel movie crown skips Spidey and DD is going to be the next X-Men movie.
M03: I don’t know. The first one was just sort of okay. They nerfed Wolverine, and some of the stuff they say…
M08: No, no, no, they totally get their shit together for number 2. Cyclops is still a total pansy, but Wolverine puts on the daddy pants.
M03: What the fuck are ‘daddy pants?’
M08: It’s a catch-phrase from Bubble.
M03: What the fuck is ‘Bubble?’
M08: It’s where IU puts all its degenerates and alcoholics.
M03: I don’t even like beer.
M08: Get ready to love it more than you could love another human being. The sweet numbing bliss is going to get you through a lot.
M03: How bad’s it going to get?
M08: Yeah, there’s naked guy, and this Puerto Rican guy. You’ll dance on stage, and there’s a turtle…you know what. You’ll find out when you get there.
Matt(s)