Sigh...

[italys_explorer]

This week was really long. Its been rough. Just stressful and blah! And to come home to my mom, who's the biggest bitch in the world sucks so much more. I do all this shit, I'm told to do...or suffer the consequences like my life...and I do it all and I STILL have to get the consequences...beacuse I'm "the biggest mistake ever, I'm a selfish bitch, She hates the day I was born, She has no money because of me, I do everything wrong." She ruins my life and everything and everyone that I have. I'm SO sick of the shit I have to deal with. I dont know how much longer I can take it. I hate it, she makes me HATE my life. I wish I could of seen how she was, then been able to choose if I lived or died, cuz I could of saved myself from going through this pain and suffering. My lungs were small when I was born...I almost died...maybe they should of been a little smaller and I wouldnt have to put up with all this shit I call my life. So again this weekend I can't do anything. But it's always worked out b4, this time I doubt I'm going anywhere, yet she can go out until like 4 in the morning and come home...and it's ok, even tho she's suppose to be a FUCKING MOTHER!!!! And nothing even happened today...I came home and she just starts yelling at me for no reason at all, then she starts blaming me cuz she has no money...ok how is that my fault? Like I control what she buys? Then at the store I saw some stuff I liked she said she'd buy it for me for x-mas, and now today she has no money left and she wants me to pay her back or shes gonna return my x-mas presents....MY FUCKING X-MAS PRESENTS. I have to either pay her for them or theyre going back to the store! Un fucking beliveable. I hate her so fucking much. It gets so tiring to start believing she actually cares when shes nice random days throughout the month or year...and then it all goes back to the same shit, with it never getting better. It never will. And therefore I hate my life.

I do love my friends and the love of my life... I just can't take it anymore...

My new Icon is to my mom...thanks mom I love you too, sorry I was ever concieved...