fuck it lets do this
ok i got some shit to get out there and off my fucking chest. so much through the better part of this year i have walked alone. i will continue to do so. i have come to realize that just when one needs people places or things to get them up everyday, your already fucked. i used to think i needed someone or something to keep me going through this life. but shit has changed and to point blak honest with you, fuck that shit. i just have come to realize the few and i do mean the few people in this life that i actually give a shit about because they deserve the blessing of have such a good person like me on there side. the rest of you, whatever man. there are way to many shallow, ignorant, fucked up, twisted, people in my everyday life that unfortunately i have to interact with, see, be around. whn inside im ready to tell them the fuck off and walk out. listen i have watched to many of the people i would die for in this world through me away and there lifes. well if you want to fuck up yours good. do it, im all for it. but im tired of caring , all of my causes in this life that i have fought, bleed and sweat for all have just become non existing. its not easy, its not hard also, but what bothers me is that quality is no longer what anybody seems to even give a shit a bout. real, true, honest, loving, caring, kind hearted, goodness, understanding, loyalty, just to name a few are what it seems like this world is running farther and farther away from. while i run all the more to these things. to be the best person i can be no matter. its to much of a game these days. but life isnt, its all i got, and there isnt a game about that. i struggle day to day, week to week. paycheck to paycheck. its not all roses and daisys of course that i know. but coming from a convicted felon, and a 4.0 college student invovled with his community to help many charities, who has past a drug program at course of my own will, who turned his life around for the cause of his own well being and becoming a better person, rather than using all that as an excuse to get out of jail is still getting shit thwon in my face day to day. piss test, probation, jail time, laywers, phone calls up the ass, tlalking to this people that person, trying to get letters from everybody yet still not troubled. i have a peace about me and my life. the difference is between me and most everybody else who my heart reaches for bevause the walk around this world so blindly , and allow themselve to be deprieved of the dignity respect and love the deserve. well as long as im alive and walking this planet. as long as there is a breath in my body, to the very end of my own life, i will be that good person. i will always have the great heart of gold that God so graciously has blessed me with. i will always fight for the weak, and the good cause of love, i will not allow anyone to deny me of my right to be that individual.
more importantly i want you all to know i have not live to just die, but while breath is still in me, and i still walk this planet i will not waste away. nor let any of those i love. no longer is it time in this world we live in to sit back and just exist, just be. go through the ever so vicous cycle of watsed time, people, love, feeling, money whatever. i believe whole heartedly its time to mkae changes, as well as to make a difference. i would rather be dead right now knowing i made a diference for one person, i helped someone in trouble, than go through the rest of this life with millions, and all the friends in the world and not help anybody. God Forbid. to those whom it may concern, if you dont hate me yet because of bullshit, lie's, ignorance, backstabbings, betrayal, unloyalty, selfishness, pride, and any other of satans many qualites, you never will. if you come to hate me in this life now, it will only be cause i do care, and i do believe in each and everyone of you. and i will fight and believe, and care as long as im here on this planet. its me the person i am which so many of you think you know, but you have no idea. which so many of you have thrown away like yestardays news just like this court might, alot of you have been loyal soldiers holding up a wounded brother through the battle, and that is something i can never forget or ever repay. for those that have been there at worst or best, rain or sun, shit or not. to you you have my lifetime loyalty and love as well as all of my respect for the incredible people you have come to be. words could never express actions would never be enough to show you that have been there how much i really love and care for you. my honest and sincere prayer for those who have proved through the test of time that there still there is that god may grant you all of true hearts desires and bless uncondtionally for being the only thing at times keeping me getting up everydya to go through and to make it. to my many famiyl, i love you all, forever, to my not so many "friends" you know who you are, alls i could ever wish and hope for you, is that you never change for the worst, only to become better people than you are today. to never forget who those people are that you know when you need anything they will be there. keep it close to your heart that whenever a tear falls down your face, i catch them all, when it could worst or if its the best, i will be there, hell or highwater, rain or sun, love or not, theres no real words to describe or express the deep gratitude and love that comes from the bottom of my heart, i love all of you very much. most of you will never be able to fathom or understand the true, real honest care and concern i have for each of you. i pray continually for your well being and that you may see many days of smiles and sunshine.
p.s.
Petrified Life And The Twice Told Joke (Decrepit Bricks)
I walk on decrepit bricks
And kick sticks and rusty soda cans
Simply for lack of better stimulation
Motivation comes and goes like gas station patrons
So sedation compensates for unexpected vacations
(Thank you )
That's my pre-gratitude
Post-please leave me alone that's just my rude attitude
No dysfunction flipside, I'm just your ordinary citizen
They're waiting patiently for me to sin again, but then again (shit...)
I'm really mommy's little angel,
But that angel on my shoulder got strangled
For trying to tangle with his nemesis he caught him on the wrong day
And got cut like DJs spinning doubles -(let the fucking song play)
I'm on my way to the store,
Ignoring the city to purchase a pack of marb reds
With a stack of rolled pennies
I could go for Denny's, and my stomach holds plenty,
But my pockets got holes, I guess the goal is to stay empty...
Quite simply put, me and my pockets share interest
I never fall in love with that pretty green-eyed temptress,
Twice (yeah right)
I learned my lesson the first time
I just couldn't keep up with that ever-changing Jordan line of foot apparel
Parallel to many clones, my eye's vision monochromes
With seven shades and twenty tones
Plus I breath artistic, they eating everything I'm feeding them
Put myself in every painting and use my spit as mat medium
And results of my children
We share the same genes,
Cast the same reflection and interpret the same dreams.
Like whoa [x3]
Whoa [x7]
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose
Feeling like I'm worthless
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose
Feeling like I'm worthless
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
I walk down dead end streets like I didn't see the sign
Just to turn around and walk back
That's fine and dandy, but what's whack is the fact I'm still walking
...like... "thank god for walkmans"
I'm only yawning cause these simply minded
Mortals make me sleepy
So what do I do? I resort to TV
In the seemingly lousy attempt to numb myself
With lackluster images
And insignificant information like "Willis was really Ty Bridges"
Just to have the upper hand in monotonous conversation,
And for lack of better stimulation
I'm painting portraits of dysfunctional families
With gloomy faces rockin
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" t-shirts, and you're assuming I'm tasteless?
You misconstrue it but your babies will embrace it
The basic essentials of a very bitter young man
That kicks rusty soda cans
And walks on decrepit bricks
With a permanent pair of headphones
Trying to make these lectures stick
I'll let the protestors picket,
Like they are going to make a difference
And watch them die before they realize that their cause was nonexistent
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
I walk on shitty city sidewalks stepping on every single crack
Reminiscent of that joke we used to say when we were snotty nose
My purpose got defeated when my mom turned paraplegic,
Plus I failed my civil service exam,
They said I cheated.
:not to mention tainted urine samples and the attention span of a second-grader
More fascinated with building blocks than wasting time stressing his daily lesson
Hence the ridilin I've been gone with the wind like lucky lottery tickets since day one (one)
I stepped on the left cause rights wrong (wrong)
So what do I do?I resort to friendly games of ping pong and sing a song of sixpence
I'm none the richer, I just kiss her on the lips and keep trucking
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
more importantly i want you all to know i have not live to just die, but while breath is still in me, and i still walk this planet i will not waste away. nor let any of those i love. no longer is it time in this world we live in to sit back and just exist, just be. go through the ever so vicous cycle of watsed time, people, love, feeling, money whatever. i believe whole heartedly its time to mkae changes, as well as to make a difference. i would rather be dead right now knowing i made a diference for one person, i helped someone in trouble, than go through the rest of this life with millions, and all the friends in the world and not help anybody. God Forbid. to those whom it may concern, if you dont hate me yet because of bullshit, lie's, ignorance, backstabbings, betrayal, unloyalty, selfishness, pride, and any other of satans many qualites, you never will. if you come to hate me in this life now, it will only be cause i do care, and i do believe in each and everyone of you. and i will fight and believe, and care as long as im here on this planet. its me the person i am which so many of you think you know, but you have no idea. which so many of you have thrown away like yestardays news just like this court might, alot of you have been loyal soldiers holding up a wounded brother through the battle, and that is something i can never forget or ever repay. for those that have been there at worst or best, rain or sun, shit or not. to you you have my lifetime loyalty and love as well as all of my respect for the incredible people you have come to be. words could never express actions would never be enough to show you that have been there how much i really love and care for you. my honest and sincere prayer for those who have proved through the test of time that there still there is that god may grant you all of true hearts desires and bless uncondtionally for being the only thing at times keeping me getting up everydya to go through and to make it. to my many famiyl, i love you all, forever, to my not so many "friends" you know who you are, alls i could ever wish and hope for you, is that you never change for the worst, only to become better people than you are today. to never forget who those people are that you know when you need anything they will be there. keep it close to your heart that whenever a tear falls down your face, i catch them all, when it could worst or if its the best, i will be there, hell or highwater, rain or sun, love or not, theres no real words to describe or express the deep gratitude and love that comes from the bottom of my heart, i love all of you very much. most of you will never be able to fathom or understand the true, real honest care and concern i have for each of you. i pray continually for your well being and that you may see many days of smiles and sunshine.
p.s.
Petrified Life And The Twice Told Joke (Decrepit Bricks)
I walk on decrepit bricks
And kick sticks and rusty soda cans
Simply for lack of better stimulation
Motivation comes and goes like gas station patrons
So sedation compensates for unexpected vacations
(Thank you )
That's my pre-gratitude
Post-please leave me alone that's just my rude attitude
No dysfunction flipside, I'm just your ordinary citizen
They're waiting patiently for me to sin again, but then again (shit...)
I'm really mommy's little angel,
But that angel on my shoulder got strangled
For trying to tangle with his nemesis he caught him on the wrong day
And got cut like DJs spinning doubles -(let the fucking song play)
I'm on my way to the store,
Ignoring the city to purchase a pack of marb reds
With a stack of rolled pennies
I could go for Denny's, and my stomach holds plenty,
But my pockets got holes, I guess the goal is to stay empty...
Quite simply put, me and my pockets share interest
I never fall in love with that pretty green-eyed temptress,
Twice (yeah right)
I learned my lesson the first time
I just couldn't keep up with that ever-changing Jordan line of foot apparel
Parallel to many clones, my eye's vision monochromes
With seven shades and twenty tones
Plus I breath artistic, they eating everything I'm feeding them
Put myself in every painting and use my spit as mat medium
And results of my children
We share the same genes,
Cast the same reflection and interpret the same dreams.
Like whoa [x3]
Whoa [x7]
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose
Feeling like I'm worthless
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose
Feeling like I'm worthless
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
I walk down dead end streets like I didn't see the sign
Just to turn around and walk back
That's fine and dandy, but what's whack is the fact I'm still walking
...like... "thank god for walkmans"
I'm only yawning cause these simply minded
Mortals make me sleepy
So what do I do? I resort to TV
In the seemingly lousy attempt to numb myself
With lackluster images
And insignificant information like "Willis was really Ty Bridges"
Just to have the upper hand in monotonous conversation,
And for lack of better stimulation
I'm painting portraits of dysfunctional families
With gloomy faces rockin
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" t-shirts, and you're assuming I'm tasteless?
You misconstrue it but your babies will embrace it
The basic essentials of a very bitter young man
That kicks rusty soda cans
And walks on decrepit bricks
With a permanent pair of headphones
Trying to make these lectures stick
I'll let the protestors picket,
Like they are going to make a difference
And watch them die before they realize that their cause was nonexistent
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
I walk on shitty city sidewalks stepping on every single crack
Reminiscent of that joke we used to say when we were snotty nose
My purpose got defeated when my mom turned paraplegic,
Plus I failed my civil service exam,
They said I cheated.
:not to mention tainted urine samples and the attention span of a second-grader
More fascinated with building blocks than wasting time stressing his daily lesson
Hence the ridilin I've been gone with the wind like lucky lottery tickets since day one (one)
I stepped on the left cause rights wrong (wrong)
So what do I do?I resort to friendly games of ping pong and sing a song of sixpence
I'm none the richer, I just kiss her on the lips and keep trucking
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose (absolutely no purpose)
Feeling like I'm worthless (feeling like I'm worthless)
But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine
Content with the fact that I know this city's mine