deep, deep thought.
I miss my brother. It's so weird how he calls me, and doesnt even call my parents to say hello while he's away. He wants the best for me, and he's started to make me think. -What I should do..how to get on my feet- and he's put a lot of thought into me, but they are such big decisions..i dunno what to think. I mean, and theres a major part of my life i could risk from this. I have so much thinking to do....so much, i just hope in the end...i can live happily ever after. no stress. no anger. nothing to worry about, just being in love. independant. responsible. Not to worry if anyone really loves me in my family besides my brother, because thats all it feels like. I've almost lost all respect for anyone else. It's so hard to keep it, when you finally realize..you're 1/2 way through you journey, being led in the wrong direction...very disappointing. Especially when you finally feel unwanted...like you're out of place. What else are you supposed to do? no where to run..not a thing to do, that wont result in a consequence...it's a lose. lose. situation if i dont do this....im stuck.