This is a very long entry
Prom was last night. That's all I have to say about that. Actually, the only thing I can really remember was being on the verge of tears when calling Jacob (who was in a drunken haze) and basically spilling my guts out to him. We both kept telling each other we missed one another. He kept telling me that I had no clue how happy he was that I was coming over and I had to keep telling him, "oh, I think I have an idea." He knew I wasn't having a good time and I basically confessed that it wouldn't be good unless he was there with me. Even now as I write this, I feel tears. So maybe I should stop.
Afterward, I went to the vacant lot. It was incredible! A few minutes into sitting around, changing into some normal clothes and listening to my iPod, I started feeling a bit lonely. So I went down the mental list of people I could call up. Carina: bowling with Amanda (and I feel like an outcast around her now); Patrick: I had already dropped off and wasn't feeling like seeing for the rest of the week; Danielle: at home asleep most likely; Jennifer: at home asleep as well; Kaci: with David, and I wasn't going to drag them to a vacant lot. Then my brain came to Sean's name and I thought for a bit. He didn't actually "bring" his date to Prom but met her there so he was alone. I had talked and danced with him that night and I'm feeling a hell of alot more comfortable around him. So I called him up and we talked and just chilled out in the night air for a good hour. He lent me his baggy hoody (which has thumb holes and I rightfully could tease him about that!) and he laid down on his sun visor. I still have the overly big hoody. It's very warm. And he kept me very entertained with mocking my music selection and just coming up with random comments. So as I have said before, after Prom was muy awesome!
Today has been pretty mellow and chilled. We took the birds to the avery and mom has been depressed all day. I couldn't handle seeing mom so upset and having to see my pets leave so abruptly so I watched 300 with Angie and Holly. Nothing cheers you up faster than 300 men ripped and dressed as if they're performing in Thunder from Down under.
I didn't know if everyone would want to read this, but when I came home from 300, I tried finishing some HW, but fell asleep in the process. I had the most peculiar dream that if it had gone on longer, I may have died. I was kneeling in the middle of the Center courtyard and I was very calm, but very anxious inside. I was holding a Katana (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a samurai sword) and my old karate teacher was standing behind me, yelling at me. He was saying things like, "you have shamed everyone that you represent. You have embarrassed yourself and me. I knew from the beginning I shouldn't have taught you." and on and on. And old friend of mine is in one of the crowds of people watching me and my old Professor. This crowd contains so many people I know, not just from school but family and old friends. Her name is Sierra (some of you may know her) and she's crying saying, "I know you have to do this but you can't. I don't want you to." and my professor says, "it has to be done. Do it now." So I take the sword and stab myself in the gut with it and begin to perform seppuku (I'm pretty sure that's how you spell it and if you don't know what this is either...just look it up, I really don't want to go into detail). All I can remember is that it hurt. Alot. And then I woke up. And if I had woken up a second later the second stage of Seppuku would have occurred and I might have died; because they say if you die in your dream you actually die. I don't know how true that is, but it scares the shit out of me. I also don't know what this dream means...and I hope I don't have it again. because it hurt.
I leave for London Thursday night. I'm going home. :)
Afterward, I went to the vacant lot. It was incredible! A few minutes into sitting around, changing into some normal clothes and listening to my iPod, I started feeling a bit lonely. So I went down the mental list of people I could call up. Carina: bowling with Amanda (and I feel like an outcast around her now); Patrick: I had already dropped off and wasn't feeling like seeing for the rest of the week; Danielle: at home asleep most likely; Jennifer: at home asleep as well; Kaci: with David, and I wasn't going to drag them to a vacant lot. Then my brain came to Sean's name and I thought for a bit. He didn't actually "bring" his date to Prom but met her there so he was alone. I had talked and danced with him that night and I'm feeling a hell of alot more comfortable around him. So I called him up and we talked and just chilled out in the night air for a good hour. He lent me his baggy hoody (which has thumb holes and I rightfully could tease him about that!) and he laid down on his sun visor. I still have the overly big hoody. It's very warm. And he kept me very entertained with mocking my music selection and just coming up with random comments. So as I have said before, after Prom was muy awesome!
Today has been pretty mellow and chilled. We took the birds to the avery and mom has been depressed all day. I couldn't handle seeing mom so upset and having to see my pets leave so abruptly so I watched 300 with Angie and Holly. Nothing cheers you up faster than 300 men ripped and dressed as if they're performing in Thunder from Down under.
I didn't know if everyone would want to read this, but when I came home from 300, I tried finishing some HW, but fell asleep in the process. I had the most peculiar dream that if it had gone on longer, I may have died. I was kneeling in the middle of the Center courtyard and I was very calm, but very anxious inside. I was holding a Katana (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a samurai sword) and my old karate teacher was standing behind me, yelling at me. He was saying things like, "you have shamed everyone that you represent. You have embarrassed yourself and me. I knew from the beginning I shouldn't have taught you." and on and on. And old friend of mine is in one of the crowds of people watching me and my old Professor. This crowd contains so many people I know, not just from school but family and old friends. Her name is Sierra (some of you may know her) and she's crying saying, "I know you have to do this but you can't. I don't want you to." and my professor says, "it has to be done. Do it now." So I take the sword and stab myself in the gut with it and begin to perform seppuku (I'm pretty sure that's how you spell it and if you don't know what this is either...just look it up, I really don't want to go into detail). All I can remember is that it hurt. Alot. And then I woke up. And if I had woken up a second later the second stage of Seppuku would have occurred and I might have died; because they say if you die in your dream you actually die. I don't know how true that is, but it scares the shit out of me. I also don't know what this dream means...and I hope I don't have it again. because it hurt.
I leave for London Thursday night. I'm going home. :)