This is such a shitty week!
I should be reading my Euro book, but it's just not that interesting at the moment. This whole week has felt like shit. I've been lagging behind on school work, I'm sleeping....alot, and I'm very aloof when it comes to being social. I'm looking back on all of the friendships I've had over the past seven years...and I don't know what to think. I have some amazing friendships that have lasted what feel like a lifetime, and then those that started but just never amounted to anything. Some friends I feel are bored of me and just...drifted? I can understand this; I haven't been the most exciting person this year.
I just need to be fucked. That's all. A good hook-up will do me good, seeing as alot of guys have called me an ice bitch in the past two years. I don't blame them (this is where the low self esteem kicks in). There's a few guys I have in mind, but highly doubt I'll ever mount up the courage to do something like what I want to do. That or get high, which I promised myself I wouldn't do again until after graduation. I've been meaning to try the absinthe in my cabinet, but if what I've heard about it is true, I think I'll wait until I have absolutely nothing to stress over.
Tonight was a good night (after I escaped my house and the stress demons that reside within it). The junior recital kicked ass, and two individuals in particular caught my attention. Courtney was phenomenal with Paganini and Nick singing Jimi Hendrix just kicked ass. I've come to like Nick (even if he was one of the guys who used to call me an ice princess) and I think he's grown to like me. He's hitting on me more than usual if that says anything.
There's also someone I've been meaning to apologize to for the longest time now. Perhaps my whole dilemma with him last year has been adding onto my bitchiness this year (the guilt is plaguing my mind). I'm just afraid he'll take it the wrong way and think I want to start the friendship again. And I would if he'd understand he can't analyze me and try to change me the way he did so early into knowing one another.
Life's troubles never end. They build your character for the next life. Because if there's nothing after death why are we living in the first place? Pointless. Seventy years absolutely pointless.
I just need to be fucked. That's all. A good hook-up will do me good, seeing as alot of guys have called me an ice bitch in the past two years. I don't blame them (this is where the low self esteem kicks in). There's a few guys I have in mind, but highly doubt I'll ever mount up the courage to do something like what I want to do. That or get high, which I promised myself I wouldn't do again until after graduation. I've been meaning to try the absinthe in my cabinet, but if what I've heard about it is true, I think I'll wait until I have absolutely nothing to stress over.
Tonight was a good night (after I escaped my house and the stress demons that reside within it). The junior recital kicked ass, and two individuals in particular caught my attention. Courtney was phenomenal with Paganini and Nick singing Jimi Hendrix just kicked ass. I've come to like Nick (even if he was one of the guys who used to call me an ice princess) and I think he's grown to like me. He's hitting on me more than usual if that says anything.
There's also someone I've been meaning to apologize to for the longest time now. Perhaps my whole dilemma with him last year has been adding onto my bitchiness this year (the guilt is plaguing my mind). I'm just afraid he'll take it the wrong way and think I want to start the friendship again. And I would if he'd understand he can't analyze me and try to change me the way he did so early into knowing one another.
Life's troubles never end. They build your character for the next life. Because if there's nothing after death why are we living in the first place? Pointless. Seventy years absolutely pointless.