Such is life! (Yes - its fucking long, I'd appreciate it if you read it though)
Life is changing, again!
Had a complete washing machine on spin-cycle, in relation to friends, and life sorta.
Where shall I start...
Ah yes, well, as of some time last week me and my female ex-best friend aren't best friends anymore, I'll tell you where that came from. (and before anyone in particular says this is bitching, it isn't, its the truth of something that upset me that I want to get off my chest. I wouldn't use names, but why not, people will know who I'm talking about anyway.) In all honesty, I think everyone here knows that Corey, Avril and I used to be best friends at college.
Well after hearing from Corey that Avril had been bitching about me behind my back, quite irritated that I'd never backstabbed her, and stuck up for her, I told Corey some of the things that she'd said about him in the past, as she has done to me, in all fairness, along with other things that I'd not told him as he opened up to me about some of the things he'd done and said and that Avril had done and said when we used to be together.
Now, I stayed over that night, went home the next day. That day Avril rings me up asking what I told Corey, I told her flatout everything I said, its not like I have anything that he hadn't already said. I also said it was only fair since she'd done the same to me. The next day I stay over Corey's, get up the next morning to his mum tickling my feet to get me out of bed. Avril came around later, with a list (yes, an actual list, 3 or more pages with dot points and the like) of things that are wrong with me, that people don't like about me, I think there was other stuff on the "list", but I was too busy facing the barrage of verbal criticism, including the sentences "Well, this shows you're obviously not my best friend anymore" "Yeah thats right I'm not, I'm Corey's, and have been for quite a while" "Thats no surprise to anyone" grrr bite hiss. Anyway, I went out of the kitchen where everyone was and sat in the loungeroom alone for a little while, Corey came to see if I was alright, then went back to the kitchen for some cones. I then started to cry for quite a bit, Corey came back in and tried to comfort me (bless him), didn't work too well though, and I continued to cry. Avril came out and talked to me, I can't exactly remember what about, I was stoned and crying and just wallowing in misery.
So thats why we're not best friends anymore, although according to her we haven't been for a while anyway (news to me *shrugs*)
But we've spoken since then, and I don't hate her, I'm angry at some of the things she said, and I feel awkward around her now, I don't know if she hates me or what, but yeah. I don't know who on here can honestly say they've never bitched about me, but there are those of you which I'm pretty sure haven't, because you're not those kind of people. Thanks for that! :) (thats not being snide, its being nice *stares at Corey* Because I know you'd think that. Nothing personal)
I really need to take a look at who my real friends are, because since I know way too many people already, I don't need people that hate/dislike me in my life. Surprisingly enough my close circle of friends is bigger than people would think, even people that are in it. But seriously, if any of you, anyone at all, hell even people not on LJ, have anything bitchy, something thats upset you, or some problem with me, don't backstab me and say it behind my back, say it to my face. I won't be as aggressive as people would think. Just speak to me like a normal person, I'll speak to you like a normal person, we'll be happy as stoners in a mountain of weed.
Okay, I will admit I do go on about guys a bit, but I've only been doing it because my god, people, actual attractive people, are interested in me while I'm single for the first time in my life! Excuse me if I'm happy about that. And apparentally I've been going on about Gaydar.com all the time, and guys that send me messages there. At least 3 people have said this apparently. Well, since I've only been on it for 3 weeks, I doubt I can go on about it all the time hmm? And as some groups of my friends know (such as from Uni) its not all I talk about. Yeah, I'm lazy with Uni, I don't think I deserve to be there either, but I am, and from now on I'm gonna try my damn hardest to work at it. I know my social life is big, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to drop any of my friends that some of my close friends don't consider worth my time which I could be using on University work. I can do Uni work at home, which I'm spending a bit more time at now as opposed to previous weeks. Friends keep me here, they're always here to support me in what I do, to help me out, to be a shoulder to cry on, and I'll return that favour to them. Friends are worth their weight in gold to me.
I have changed, some may call me a "skank", arrogant, and guy-obsessed. Personally, I think that that's untrue rubbish and bullshit. I take pride in how I look now, I dress in clothes that I look good in, and I dare you to find one item of clothing I wear around that's skanky. I don't sleep around fuckloads, In the space from Year 9 to Uni knowing that I was gay, I've only (do not read on if you don't want to know and don't say I didn't warn you *smiles*) fucked 6 guys, two of them were in a relationships, and I knew the names of all of them, and them in a general way, not personally, but enough to say they aren't completely random. Oh, and nor do I throw myself at anything that walks past, actually, I don't think I've ever thrown myself at anoyne. Arrogant, hmm, don't think thats true either. I care about myself now, I want to look good, if I think I look good on a particular day I'll ask if I do, and say so if I've had a little to drink. But in no way to I think I'm God's gift to gay men, I get told I'm attractive by a fair amount of my friends, I know I'm not ugly, but I don't think I'm perfect by a long shot either.
Guy-obsessed... considering I was caught in a year and nine month relationship, one and a half month relationship, and 3 week relationship all in a row since the day I came out to the first person I didn't know (who ended up being my first boyfriend). Now, since March I've been single, and I'm enjoying that quite a lot, and all this guy business has come as quite a shock to me. I have something to say to someone about this issue who has slighted me a bit, but I shan't do it on here as its personal info. I don't go out to pick up, I go out to dance. I talk and have become friends (if I wasn't already) to everyone I've ever slept with, I don't just blow them off (haha, don't mind the pun). Thats not skanky, anyone who calls me a skank as an insult ever again, don't expect me not to be nasty back. And hey, if I have a crush on a guy , I will talk about him, thats what normal people do. If you have a problem with this, think about how I've listened to you rant on, then think how hypocritical you're being! I'm not obsessed with guys, but like a lot of other gay guys, straight girls, and girls for lesbians and straight guys, I'll talk about them as they intrigue me quite a lot, they are in my thought processes, so they'll be in conversations I have. I think that I'm being fair here, don't you?
There, I've expressed how I feel, explained myself, and vented. I know a lot of you probably don't care, and will probably get shat at how this has taken up space on your LJ page, but its been done to me by everyone else on my list at some occasion, I don't say anything about it, why should you?
Hopefully I'll see you all around, take it easy, and keep your friends close... you know the rest.
Peace out!
Gazza
p.s. Avril, you are still my friend, I'm not fussed if you're not mine, things change people, I've seen it happen a lot this year. I still love you.
Had a complete washing machine on spin-cycle, in relation to friends, and life sorta.
Where shall I start...
Ah yes, well, as of some time last week me and my female ex-best friend aren't best friends anymore, I'll tell you where that came from. (and before anyone in particular says this is bitching, it isn't, its the truth of something that upset me that I want to get off my chest. I wouldn't use names, but why not, people will know who I'm talking about anyway.) In all honesty, I think everyone here knows that Corey, Avril and I used to be best friends at college.
Well after hearing from Corey that Avril had been bitching about me behind my back, quite irritated that I'd never backstabbed her, and stuck up for her, I told Corey some of the things that she'd said about him in the past, as she has done to me, in all fairness, along with other things that I'd not told him as he opened up to me about some of the things he'd done and said and that Avril had done and said when we used to be together.
Now, I stayed over that night, went home the next day. That day Avril rings me up asking what I told Corey, I told her flatout everything I said, its not like I have anything that he hadn't already said. I also said it was only fair since she'd done the same to me. The next day I stay over Corey's, get up the next morning to his mum tickling my feet to get me out of bed. Avril came around later, with a list (yes, an actual list, 3 or more pages with dot points and the like) of things that are wrong with me, that people don't like about me, I think there was other stuff on the "list", but I was too busy facing the barrage of verbal criticism, including the sentences "Well, this shows you're obviously not my best friend anymore" "Yeah thats right I'm not, I'm Corey's, and have been for quite a while" "Thats no surprise to anyone" grrr bite hiss. Anyway, I went out of the kitchen where everyone was and sat in the loungeroom alone for a little while, Corey came to see if I was alright, then went back to the kitchen for some cones. I then started to cry for quite a bit, Corey came back in and tried to comfort me (bless him), didn't work too well though, and I continued to cry. Avril came out and talked to me, I can't exactly remember what about, I was stoned and crying and just wallowing in misery.
So thats why we're not best friends anymore, although according to her we haven't been for a while anyway (news to me *shrugs*)
But we've spoken since then, and I don't hate her, I'm angry at some of the things she said, and I feel awkward around her now, I don't know if she hates me or what, but yeah. I don't know who on here can honestly say they've never bitched about me, but there are those of you which I'm pretty sure haven't, because you're not those kind of people. Thanks for that! :) (thats not being snide, its being nice *stares at Corey* Because I know you'd think that. Nothing personal)
I really need to take a look at who my real friends are, because since I know way too many people already, I don't need people that hate/dislike me in my life. Surprisingly enough my close circle of friends is bigger than people would think, even people that are in it. But seriously, if any of you, anyone at all, hell even people not on LJ, have anything bitchy, something thats upset you, or some problem with me, don't backstab me and say it behind my back, say it to my face. I won't be as aggressive as people would think. Just speak to me like a normal person, I'll speak to you like a normal person, we'll be happy as stoners in a mountain of weed.
Okay, I will admit I do go on about guys a bit, but I've only been doing it because my god, people, actual attractive people, are interested in me while I'm single for the first time in my life! Excuse me if I'm happy about that. And apparentally I've been going on about Gaydar.com all the time, and guys that send me messages there. At least 3 people have said this apparently. Well, since I've only been on it for 3 weeks, I doubt I can go on about it all the time hmm? And as some groups of my friends know (such as from Uni) its not all I talk about. Yeah, I'm lazy with Uni, I don't think I deserve to be there either, but I am, and from now on I'm gonna try my damn hardest to work at it. I know my social life is big, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to drop any of my friends that some of my close friends don't consider worth my time which I could be using on University work. I can do Uni work at home, which I'm spending a bit more time at now as opposed to previous weeks. Friends keep me here, they're always here to support me in what I do, to help me out, to be a shoulder to cry on, and I'll return that favour to them. Friends are worth their weight in gold to me.
I have changed, some may call me a "skank", arrogant, and guy-obsessed. Personally, I think that that's untrue rubbish and bullshit. I take pride in how I look now, I dress in clothes that I look good in, and I dare you to find one item of clothing I wear around that's skanky. I don't sleep around fuckloads, In the space from Year 9 to Uni knowing that I was gay, I've only (do not read on if you don't want to know and don't say I didn't warn you *smiles*) fucked 6 guys, two of them were in a relationships, and I knew the names of all of them, and them in a general way, not personally, but enough to say they aren't completely random. Oh, and nor do I throw myself at anything that walks past, actually, I don't think I've ever thrown myself at anoyne. Arrogant, hmm, don't think thats true either. I care about myself now, I want to look good, if I think I look good on a particular day I'll ask if I do, and say so if I've had a little to drink. But in no way to I think I'm God's gift to gay men, I get told I'm attractive by a fair amount of my friends, I know I'm not ugly, but I don't think I'm perfect by a long shot either.
Guy-obsessed... considering I was caught in a year and nine month relationship, one and a half month relationship, and 3 week relationship all in a row since the day I came out to the first person I didn't know (who ended up being my first boyfriend). Now, since March I've been single, and I'm enjoying that quite a lot, and all this guy business has come as quite a shock to me. I have something to say to someone about this issue who has slighted me a bit, but I shan't do it on here as its personal info. I don't go out to pick up, I go out to dance. I talk and have become friends (if I wasn't already) to everyone I've ever slept with, I don't just blow them off (haha, don't mind the pun). Thats not skanky, anyone who calls me a skank as an insult ever again, don't expect me not to be nasty back. And hey, if I have a crush on a guy , I will talk about him, thats what normal people do. If you have a problem with this, think about how I've listened to you rant on, then think how hypocritical you're being! I'm not obsessed with guys, but like a lot of other gay guys, straight girls, and girls for lesbians and straight guys, I'll talk about them as they intrigue me quite a lot, they are in my thought processes, so they'll be in conversations I have. I think that I'm being fair here, don't you?
There, I've expressed how I feel, explained myself, and vented. I know a lot of you probably don't care, and will probably get shat at how this has taken up space on your LJ page, but its been done to me by everyone else on my list at some occasion, I don't say anything about it, why should you?
Hopefully I'll see you all around, take it easy, and keep your friends close... you know the rest.
Peace out!
Gazza
p.s. Avril, you are still my friend, I'm not fussed if you're not mine, things change people, I've seen it happen a lot this year. I still love you.