Life, oh life, oh liiiife, oh life, doo doo doo doo doo.
Dearest Journal,
Where do I start?
Okay, well, 3 Fridays ago I broke up with my boyfriend of one year and 9 months, because a guy that he has had a history of flirting with came up and told me that Corey had been putting the moves on him, groping him and stuff. Well this was on a Thursday that I found out, and I was unsure still. The next day Corey told me that yes, he had been flirting but that was it. I confronted them both in front of each other, both of them stood by their opinions, and after all I had been hearing about Corey, since we both couldn't trust each other and our friendship was deteriorating, I decided that it had to stop. So I broke up with him.
That night I made a really big mistake by sleeping with a guy (giving and recieving head, not SEX itself), after being intoxicated to a high extent (yes I know this is no excuse, but my inhibitions would've been higher if I wasn't). Things got weird that week, I didn't spend one day where I wasn't stoned/drunk, and yeah, it was a turbulent week. Corey wanted to bash the shit out of the guy I slept with, called him the worst names, you know, what you do when you're jealous. On the Thursday of that week, him and the guy became friends, and that night they planned for him to stay over Corey's house on the Friday.
On that Friday, also the last day of school, emotions were running wild and I was foolish enough to ask him out again (a mixture of tears, and yeah a little paranoia that he was going to get with the guy, but definitely an overdrive of emotion), and he said no, that he agreed with me that we needed more time to work on our trust and friendship.
That night the guy stayed over Corey's house, and after the guy gave me his word that nothing would happen, they did stuff. I don't know who put the moves first, but that got in bed together, naked, and kissed and touched and stuff. Yeah, I got pissed off, especially after Corey had been saying how ugly he was and everything, then he told me "Oh, it was just a cover because I was jealous and angry at you." I thought to myself, "Er, okay..."
Anyway, after yet another turbulent week, last Friday Corey asked me back out again. I said no. I didn't think it was the right moment or that he really meant it, and I was quite uncomfortable with the situation. He got angry, and pushed some pizza bread into the side of my face (mature huh?), so i got mine and pressed it into his face. He got wild, and started punching me (my arm still hurts!!), so I got up and kicked him, which ended up making contact with his head (oops!), so he got up and kicked me in the back. So I hit him in return, and we were both sore and sorry for it. I got wild, and I wanted to leave, but he didn't want me to so I stayed for him. He thinks I'm after my friend Nathan, when the truth is we're just friends and Corey's being paranoid, just a while ago he sent me a message saying we were getting "too close and we were bitching", well we were bitching, just not about him. Argh. So yeah I love him and do want to get back with him, and most likely will take the chance of ruining everything for the one I love.
IT'S SO STUPID!!!!!
Ah, but what can you do?
It's a deranged situation, and we'll see what happens. I have an exam tomorrow so I'll try to study instead of stressing so much. Oh, and I've taken up smoking too, dirty habit I know, but it's so stress-relieving, and CANCER INDUCING, thats why I most likely won't keep doing it for ages, but who knows, its growing on me (like a cancer!) Oh! And by the way, yeah Corey had groped the guy, he admitted it to me while drunk after we broke up. Kinda annoying.
Hopefully life will get back on track soon, I was thinking about going out on Thursday with a few friends, to have post-exam celebrations! Dunno where yet, I'll let em know, hopefully I can scunge money off of Mum.
Peace out!
Love the Gazza
Where do I start?
Okay, well, 3 Fridays ago I broke up with my boyfriend of one year and 9 months, because a guy that he has had a history of flirting with came up and told me that Corey had been putting the moves on him, groping him and stuff. Well this was on a Thursday that I found out, and I was unsure still. The next day Corey told me that yes, he had been flirting but that was it. I confronted them both in front of each other, both of them stood by their opinions, and after all I had been hearing about Corey, since we both couldn't trust each other and our friendship was deteriorating, I decided that it had to stop. So I broke up with him.
That night I made a really big mistake by sleeping with a guy (giving and recieving head, not SEX itself), after being intoxicated to a high extent (yes I know this is no excuse, but my inhibitions would've been higher if I wasn't). Things got weird that week, I didn't spend one day where I wasn't stoned/drunk, and yeah, it was a turbulent week. Corey wanted to bash the shit out of the guy I slept with, called him the worst names, you know, what you do when you're jealous. On the Thursday of that week, him and the guy became friends, and that night they planned for him to stay over Corey's house on the Friday.
On that Friday, also the last day of school, emotions were running wild and I was foolish enough to ask him out again (a mixture of tears, and yeah a little paranoia that he was going to get with the guy, but definitely an overdrive of emotion), and he said no, that he agreed with me that we needed more time to work on our trust and friendship.
That night the guy stayed over Corey's house, and after the guy gave me his word that nothing would happen, they did stuff. I don't know who put the moves first, but that got in bed together, naked, and kissed and touched and stuff. Yeah, I got pissed off, especially after Corey had been saying how ugly he was and everything, then he told me "Oh, it was just a cover because I was jealous and angry at you." I thought to myself, "Er, okay..."
Anyway, after yet another turbulent week, last Friday Corey asked me back out again. I said no. I didn't think it was the right moment or that he really meant it, and I was quite uncomfortable with the situation. He got angry, and pushed some pizza bread into the side of my face (mature huh?), so i got mine and pressed it into his face. He got wild, and started punching me (my arm still hurts!!), so I got up and kicked him, which ended up making contact with his head (oops!), so he got up and kicked me in the back. So I hit him in return, and we were both sore and sorry for it. I got wild, and I wanted to leave, but he didn't want me to so I stayed for him. He thinks I'm after my friend Nathan, when the truth is we're just friends and Corey's being paranoid, just a while ago he sent me a message saying we were getting "too close and we were bitching", well we were bitching, just not about him. Argh. So yeah I love him and do want to get back with him, and most likely will take the chance of ruining everything for the one I love.
IT'S SO STUPID!!!!!
Ah, but what can you do?
It's a deranged situation, and we'll see what happens. I have an exam tomorrow so I'll try to study instead of stressing so much. Oh, and I've taken up smoking too, dirty habit I know, but it's so stress-relieving, and CANCER INDUCING, thats why I most likely won't keep doing it for ages, but who knows, its growing on me (like a cancer!) Oh! And by the way, yeah Corey had groped the guy, he admitted it to me while drunk after we broke up. Kinda annoying.
Hopefully life will get back on track soon, I was thinking about going out on Thursday with a few friends, to have post-exam celebrations! Dunno where yet, I'll let em know, hopefully I can scunge money off of Mum.
Peace out!
Love the Gazza