A look on the new year and posts without comments
I'm here to wish you all a happy new year, today is the last day I can right?
It's a new year I can look at with joy, another year towards the future. Another year towards being mature.
A year in which I have the chance to go to England on an internship, and maybe even to China. The year where I will have driver's license, a year with more hope blooming for bands to come to my country. A year in which I will maybe find myself again.
Maybe I can combine the happiness in which I've lived the past year, with the sadness and loneliness I felt in 2011.
2012 was a year of new things. I am now 18, I have to take care of things financially. I started driving. These were thrown at me, just deal with them now! Was the feeling I got. The 2012 was a year in which I got on the right track, made the right friend, stayed friends. But it was also the year I had to feel grief for the first time. The first time I walked behind a car in which laid a coffin. The first time I had to tell myself when I felt tears well up; "You can cry at home." I hate crying in public. This was the year that I realized things about myself, that maybe I was trying to hard. I wanted to get along with everyone, and somehow I do. I want to hold grudges, I want to be angry, but I can't, I forgive, and yeas, forget too often. This year I want there to be people I can actually hate or ignore. I would actually dislike! But I think that thanks to my cheerful attitude I have pushed away the thoughts that I maybe wasn't the person I want to be. The extreme lengths I go through to please my parents, to show them I'm doing my best, at school, at family things, at going out and having friends. I pushed away the comments that I am not concerned enough.
New years ins't only about looking back on my own life. New years is about giving hope, love, and thinking about others. And that's what I've realized to. While in 2011 I needed people to talk to, to tell everything, in 2012 I was able to give this back, I was able to listen to people and help them. In 2013 I want to give an receive, for living is hard for me sometimes. I feel like my parents won't ever think I'm good enough. And when they ask "where have we done it wrong? Raising our children?" I think it's in appreciating what we try to do instead of what we do.
I want to thank you too, for writing stories is which I may loose myself, the extreme love I can sometimes feel when reading. It makes my long for it. Just a tiny taste of the love that I hope to have in the future. And even though I don't always react to comments, due to my forgetfulness and lack of time, every story I read are worth a thousand words, they make me loose my own world, and for a moment makes me focus on nothing but fiction. I am sad to see much writers go, and I'm sad that I can't update often (almost never) too. Please go on writing! Even if my mind forgets that those thousand words are very important to you too. Even a single one, a thank you, great writing, this made me cry, you made my day. I know how it feels not to receive a comment. But I also know how it feels to not see your favorite story again.
Please don't lose hope! I will try and comment to everything I read, but I might forget. Remember to still write and make a day that bit better.
What was wanting to be a happy new years greeting turned into a bitter look back on everything I have experienced, and I know some may not be interested. But for me it relieving to post this online. Showing the whole world is like a remedy, getting a comment is like a tower of strength.
It's a new year I can look at with joy, another year towards the future. Another year towards being mature.
A year in which I have the chance to go to England on an internship, and maybe even to China. The year where I will have driver's license, a year with more hope blooming for bands to come to my country. A year in which I will maybe find myself again.
Maybe I can combine the happiness in which I've lived the past year, with the sadness and loneliness I felt in 2011.
2012 was a year of new things. I am now 18, I have to take care of things financially. I started driving. These were thrown at me, just deal with them now! Was the feeling I got. The 2012 was a year in which I got on the right track, made the right friend, stayed friends. But it was also the year I had to feel grief for the first time. The first time I walked behind a car in which laid a coffin. The first time I had to tell myself when I felt tears well up; "You can cry at home." I hate crying in public. This was the year that I realized things about myself, that maybe I was trying to hard. I wanted to get along with everyone, and somehow I do. I want to hold grudges, I want to be angry, but I can't, I forgive, and yeas, forget too often. This year I want there to be people I can actually hate or ignore. I would actually dislike! But I think that thanks to my cheerful attitude I have pushed away the thoughts that I maybe wasn't the person I want to be. The extreme lengths I go through to please my parents, to show them I'm doing my best, at school, at family things, at going out and having friends. I pushed away the comments that I am not concerned enough.
New years ins't only about looking back on my own life. New years is about giving hope, love, and thinking about others. And that's what I've realized to. While in 2011 I needed people to talk to, to tell everything, in 2012 I was able to give this back, I was able to listen to people and help them. In 2013 I want to give an receive, for living is hard for me sometimes. I feel like my parents won't ever think I'm good enough. And when they ask "where have we done it wrong? Raising our children?" I think it's in appreciating what we try to do instead of what we do.
I want to thank you too, for writing stories is which I may loose myself, the extreme love I can sometimes feel when reading. It makes my long for it. Just a tiny taste of the love that I hope to have in the future. And even though I don't always react to comments, due to my forgetfulness and lack of time, every story I read are worth a thousand words, they make me loose my own world, and for a moment makes me focus on nothing but fiction. I am sad to see much writers go, and I'm sad that I can't update often (almost never) too. Please go on writing! Even if my mind forgets that those thousand words are very important to you too. Even a single one, a thank you, great writing, this made me cry, you made my day. I know how it feels not to receive a comment. But I also know how it feels to not see your favorite story again.
Please don't lose hope! I will try and comment to everything I read, but I might forget. Remember to still write and make a day that bit better.
What was wanting to be a happy new years greeting turned into a bitter look back on everything I have experienced, and I know some may not be interested. But for me it relieving to post this online. Showing the whole world is like a remedy, getting a comment is like a tower of strength.