[Se] Grown
She was an unattractive child from the start. Even as an infant her eyes were too large, her forehead too pronounced, and her ears stuck out like handles. "It is a good thing," her aunt, her father's sister, said as she peered down at the small, wailing bundle. "It will keep the evil spirits away." And perhaps it did, for she grew strong and healthy and tall, if perhaps a bit on the skinny side. "Ugly now, pretty later," her aunt also said, and she heard it from most of the village's adults at one point or another. She heard it often enough that she believed it and took it to heart, and walked with her head held high, confident and proud. She knew she wasn't beautiful, she could see that for herself. But she would be. Auntie was never wrong.
Then came the summer she turned twelve and became a woman. "A little early," Auntie told her mothers, "but nothing to worry about." Se's body stretched taller, then wider, hips appearing almost overnight. She started noticing the boys and young men in the village, and they started noticing her. She felt their stares on her as she went with her younger sisters to fetch water, she sensed the looks she got when she stood talking in the shade with her older sisters, and her brothers all teased her, telling her one boy or another was in love with her--a different one every time, of course. She smiled and wove flowers into her hair and pretended shyness, and her mothers laughed and encouraged her. Mama Tiya found one of the older girls' dresses for her to wear, and Mama Betisa altered it, adjusting it to fit and adding delicate leaves and vines along the hem and neck. She was beautiful, finally, and it was wonderful.
It lasted all of six weeks, and then she started to listen.
"She'll make a good wife someday," she overheard one of the neighbors say to his son. "Pity about that face, but looks don't cook the stew."
"Nice hips!" one of the older boys called out from where he leaned against the village wall with the others. Someone else gave an appreciative whistle. But as she walked away, their voices were just loud enough to hear:
"...that body!"
"Yeah, but, you know."
"I'd do her with a sack over her head."
"That's just wrong."
She bit her lip and walked on.
Even the women were in on it, though, and the little pinpricks grew harder to avoid. They were there when she went to the stream to wash her clothes and hair, when she sat to prepare meat with her sisters, when she slept and listened to her mothers speak. "It's a good thing," Mama Betisa said, "that she is so plain. It will keep the boys from causing her trouble." Mama Tiya nodded, agreeing softly as she bent her head to her weaving.
But I don't want the boys to leave me alone, Se protested in the silence of her head. I want them to like me.
--
"Hey, Ugly Girl!"
A pebble hissed past her ear, striking the branch above her and rattling the leaves.
"Ugly Girl, come down and play with us!"
The boys laughed and jeered below. She ignored them as best she could, stretching out along the branch and pretending she couldn't feel the sting of their barbed words. She'd found a nest of honey bees, a small one, and was watching it carefully. She had been for days, climbing high to check on it every evening. Somehow they'd found her, though, and she wasn't about to approach it with so much noise. She could hear the soft, faint humming from here, the confused buzz at the sounds from below.
"Ugly Girl!" Another stone whirred by, this one larger. It barely missed the side of her head, and she blinked, looking down. It was a mistake. The taunts only grew louder when they realized they had her attention. One boy had his cloth down around his knees and was making a series of obscene remarks while two others watched, one was still--she ducked--still hurling stones, and the rest just pointed and laughed when they saw her face between the leaves. Her skin flushed under her fur, and she drew back quickly, hiding herself in the branches. It was nearly dusk now. Surely they'd leave soon. But in the meantime, she could do nothing but sit and listen. A stone struck her shoulder, and she winced as it bounced off to lodge itself in the crook between two branches. Just another bruise. She'd had few enough of those this week.
She picked up the stone, turning it over in her hands, and glanced up.
--
"Se." Her father's voice was deep and disapproving.
She rubbed at her shoulder sullenly as she sat, not meeting his gaze, and said nothing.
"Se!"
At the change in tone she did look up, then dropped her gaze to the smooth dirt floor again when she saw his scowl and the darkening of his face, as if thunderclouds gathered behind his skin. She was strong, she told herself. She could wait out this storm.
"You threw a hive of bees down on Je'tika's oldest son."
It was a statement, not a question, but she nodded slightly, not bothering to defend herself.
"You knew that he and I had been speaking for many weeks, about a marriage between you and his son. We are neighbors. It would have been advantageous to both families."
She had known, but only in a vague, half-aware sort of way. She shrugged, not caring.
"He is no longer interested."
That stung a little, but no more than the stones the boy had flung at her. She found that she was, in fact, a little relieved. She shrugged again.
Her father growled, raising his voice in frustration. "Do you not wish to be married? You would be a worthless leech upon this family, that I must support even into my old age?"
Mama Tiya nodded in agreement, Mama Betisa hushed the babe at her breast as it started shrieking, and Auntie frowned, looked away, and said nothing.
Se hung her head, letting the words wash over her, breaking upon her ears like sheets of rain. Worthless. Lazy. Ugly. Good for nothing. Never find a husband. Should just give her away. No. Would have to pay someone to take her. It was the fourth such lecture in as many years, and she remembered all of them.
--
"Se-Se?"
She grumbled and rolled over, making room under the blanket for her younger sister. Kala slid in next to her, wrapping her arms around Se's shoulders. Se winced and pulled away.
"Are you alright?"
"Fine." She wasn't, but it was too dark for Kala to see otherwise.
"Auntie told me."
Oh. So she knew.
"It's okay, Se-Se." The younger girl snuggled up against her, careful of the bruises. "You don't have to worry about being alone. I'll stay with you."
Se grunted and tugged back a bit of the blanket. "I'm fine. Go back to bed."
"Nope."
A pause.
"Auntie says it's not so bad, you know. Not getting married."
"Kala..." Se pushed herself up on an elbow, wild bushy mane sticking up in several different directions. Kala giggled as it tickled her nose. "I'm trying to sleep. Be quiet."
"Okay."
Se returned to staring at the ceiling, face scrunched up in a frown. Kala's breathing slowly quieted as the girl drew closer to sleep, eventually changing to a light, whistling snore. At last Se settled herself back down, muscles relaxing as she listened to the quiet night sounds filling the hut and the air outside. Kala stirred a bit, mumbling.
"...then 'm not either..."
"Eh?" Se rolled over a bit, listening, but the girl was only talking in her sleep. She grumbled and rolled back, tucking her toes back under the blanket, and closed her eyes, forcing herself to sleep.