(no subject)
when i get angry i can not rationalize. i go so far as to visualize and plan harming people. i have always done so. when i am hurting or sad i can not rationalize getting out of bed or eating or reading or doing anything at all. i would really like to think moving is going to change all of this. but your problems follow you wherever you go, i know this. i acknowledge my complete craziness but i don't think all of it is illogical.
i really had high hopes for 2006. i was convinced it was going to be the greatest year of all time. if only it had continued on the path which it originally started taking. we are the only ones with power to change things. i guess i'm trying. but it's really hard to do when you have so much self doubt, and insecurity, and feelings of worthlessness. no matter how much i talk i feel like i run out of time. i could never finish saying all the things i need to say.i wish i could take a therapist with me for my drive across the country. 49 hours of ventilation might do me some good. but i still doubt it, of course.
i really had high hopes for 2006. i was convinced it was going to be the greatest year of all time. if only it had continued on the path which it originally started taking. we are the only ones with power to change things. i guess i'm trying. but it's really hard to do when you have so much self doubt, and insecurity, and feelings of worthlessness. no matter how much i talk i feel like i run out of time. i could never finish saying all the things i need to say.i wish i could take a therapist with me for my drive across the country. 49 hours of ventilation might do me some good. but i still doubt it, of course.