(Untitled)

[istuffmypants]

PRONGS.

PRONGS WHY DID THAT UNICORN TRY TO GIVE YOU AND EVANS THE GLASGOW HANDSHAKE IN CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES TODAY? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? DID THEY HAVE TO AMPUTATE EVANS' HAND?

Comments

[ihavebigprongs]

No it's just sprained. She's fine I've been looking after her.

Listen ... about the unicorn- there's something I haven't told you...

[istuffmypants]

You didn't kill it, did you? PRONGS PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T. THAT'S LIKE A THOUSAND YEARS BAD LUCK, DUDE.

[ihavebigprongs]

God no. I- er. Well Lily and I- we're... we're-
um.

[istuffmypants]

In love. Meant to be. Going to be together forever and ever and ever ad nauseum YEAH I KNOW, you told us already. Now can we PLEASE talk about something else before I'm forced to stop being happy for you and beat you to death with my shoe?

[ihavebigprongs]

sdkfnsldkn HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR SHOES. THE HEEL ON THEM. YOU COULD ACTUALLY KI- never mind. No, I'm.. er.. well. You know how the unicorn like sniffed the air when Lils and I went up and then went physco like Pete does when you use his doilies to clean up after you've wanked well- it's because Lils and I- we're. Er... we've lost our-

we had sexual intercourse. with... wangs and ... you know.. all the parts.

Excuse me for butting in but

[thetrousersnake]

You mean you two ... got naked and ... put things inside other things together?

...

Oh dear god that's a disgusting image. Spawn of Potter. I can see it now. A scrawny, bespectacled little snot with some kind of dibilitating disfiguration, probably in the head.

Re: Excuse me for butting in but

[ihavebigprongs]

YES. I PUT MY PENIS INSIDE OF A WOMAN.

UNLIKE YOU WHO HAS ONLY FELT HIS HAND.
NOW FUCK OFF.

LEAVE HARRY OUT OF THIS.

Re: Excuse me for butting in but

[thetrousersnake]

FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HAVE HAD SEX. THANK YOU. AND UNLIKE YOU I DIDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO HAVE A CONCERNED HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT IT WITH SOME OTHER WANKER.

BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.

FUCK. YOU.

AND -- what?

Re: Excuse me for butting in but

[ihavebigprongs]

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ONE TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART WITH YOU COLD DEAD INSIDE WASTE OF GREASE.

I'M SURE YOUR MA DIDN'T SEE THE MUTANT DONKEY THAT RAPED HER TO PRODUCE YOU EITHER.

FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS.

HARRY. THE ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE ME. APPARENTLY HE'S MY SON. WHAT LAUGHS.

Re: Excuse me for butting in but

[thetrousersnake]

Well.

That is it.

I was about to help you and your simpering girlfriend with your possible "little problem".

You can take your unwanted pregnancy and drop out of Hogwarts. Pomfrey won't help you. Dumbledore will expel you. Read the school rules if you don't believe me.

I hope you die.

Goodbye.

Re: And on that note

[ihavebigprongs]

NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I'M GOING TO HEX YOU SO HARD.

Re: And on that note

[thetrousersnake]

Like I'm scared of a sack of shit like you.

Never insult my parents, you cunt snuffling smeg brain. Ever mention my mother again and I will cut you from gizzard to gonads like the worthless piece of meat you are.

You have no idea.

Re: And on that note

[ihavebigprongs]

Like I'm scared of you you moronic, racist, prejudiced sdkfnslkdlkn FAG. Don't you DARE threaten me, you have no fucking right to threaten me.

Re: And on that note

[thetrousersnake]

Racist? Racist?!

You utter cunt. I'm as half-blood as they come and proud. And there's a difference between prejudiced and opinionated. At least I have the brains to have a fucking opinion other than "heh. Cool" or "I'm not sure about that or" "hey, um, I don't think that's fair?" or any of the other astoundingly witty and insightful things you, our esteemed Head Boy, seem to come out with on a regular basis.

And, you know what? After the way you and your friends have behaved to me over the years I think I have every right to defend myself and it's perfectly understandable that I don't kneel and kiss your saggy, over-privileged arse like every. Other. Single. Fucking student in this sorry establishment does. Even if you saved my life. For FUCK'S SAKE. You saved it but you're the ones who MAKE IT UNLIVABLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And you know what? I can't believe you put your girlfriend in the position you just have. That just about sums up what a poor excuse for a human being you are. You, James Potter, should take a long, hard look

Re: And on that note

[ihavebigprongs]

Fuck. You.

You think I'm not opinionated? You think I sit on the fucking fence or something? Screw you. I think alllll Slytherins like you are JUST the fucking same. Throwing around the word mudblood and whatever like it doesn't hurt anyone but it DOES. It's incredibly hurtful and yes my friends and I may be immature at times but don't you fucking DARE play the little fucking fairy on top of the tree who never does annnnyyything wrong.

I don't CARE that you're half blood, I don't CARE about blood at all. Blood should've give you a fucking excuse ... like some twatty disclaimer so you can say whatever the hell you want.

You leave Lily out of this, our relationship is NONE of your business and yet you swan in here like some mother figure and expect me to act all ashamed. FUCK. YOU. You have no RIGHT. And that's not just because I saved your life. WHATEVER. YOU OWE ME NOTHING.

JUST GO AWAY. DON'T CALL LILY SPECIAL DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HER. I KNOW HOW AMAZING SHE IS AN I DON'T NEED YOU OF ALL PEOPLE TO REMIND ME.

Re: And on that note

[thetrousersnake]

When did I ever say I was a saint? I'm not. At least I don't have any delusions of my saintly grandeur like you, you pretentious little cretin. Yes. I'm a cunt. I know I am. You tell me that every day. I get the point. Thank you. Top marks for demonstrating how self-fulfilling prophecies work. Gold stars all round.

And hey, guess what? Being her boyfriend isn't a disclaimer either, you know. It's not as if you own her, and shame on you if you think that. If you think she's so amazing, stop talking about her like a fucking object you posess rather than a person who can choose who the fuck she talks to on her own, thanks very much.

I'm wasting my time on you. You're going to fuck her life up as well as your own. Give me a call when you're both lying dead in the gutter to let me know I'm right. Thanks.