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istuffmypants

(Untitled)

Jun 21, 2006 23:54

PRONGS. PRONGS WHAT IS HAPPENING DOWN THERE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

SHIT.

SOMEBODY TALK TO ME.

PETER? PETER WHERE THE SODDING BUMBLUDGERING HELL ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU.

COME ON JAMES WORK WITH ME HERE.

Snape?

oh sod this.

EVANS.

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vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:01:44 UTC

WHAT?!!

What is all the RUCKUS! I was trying to read. Sirius?!

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 00:08:10 UTC

ohmygodricinfeatherypajamasEVANS THIS IS SO SO BAD I'VE DONE SOMETHING REALLY INCREDIBLY STUPID

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:09:58 UTC

Alright. ALRIGHT. Calm down, what have you done? Take deep breaths. Where is James- can't he help you with this?

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 00:13:01 UTC

he's- I DON'T KNOW WHAT JAMES IS DOING HE JUST RAN OFF AND- oh god this is so unbelievably bad EVANS WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS WHY.

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:14:32 UTC

WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Sirius.

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 00:17:51 UTC

well it started like- he kept sayi- and I got really- and then he-

I THINK I JUST KILLED SNAPE

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:19:47 UTC

....

Stop pissing around Sirius, it isn't funny.

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 00:21:43 UTC

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M LAUGHING EVANS??

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:23:07 UTC

ALL RIGHT, THEN- How have you supposedly 'killed' Snape?

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 00:30:05 UTC

dkjhdg I can't tell yo- OH SOD IT YOU'RE GOING TO FIND OUT ANYWAY

Okay.

Well it's like this. Remus is ... he's not like other boys.

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:33:14 UTC

Well I kind of guessed that.

Wait- you aren't just finding this out? Weren't the. . .all the. . knitted vests not indication enough?

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 00:43:56 UTC

Knitted vests?? Evans are you out of your- OH. EVANS YOU DAFT COW I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

He's- god there really is no polite way of saying this. Remus is a werewolf, Evans.

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 00:45:09 UTC

Oh. Right.

What!? And he- So. Right now he-? Oh Merlin.

SIRIUS, WHAT DID YOU DO?!

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 01:04:08 UTC

Okay Snivelly came at me all like accusing us of being the ones behind all that black market moonshining business even though it is CLEARLY the Prewett boys behind it HONESTLY ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN KNOWS THAT and then I told him he was barking up the wrong fish and called him a blithering snot-eating pumpion-faced arseclown and alluded to various scenarious between his mother and myself and he fucking took it PERSONALLY and and and he said things so I lied and congratulated him for working it out single-handedly and told him if he really wanted us nicked he'd have to go down to the Shrieking Shack after dark and catch us finishing up the last batch and FUCK I am SUCH AN IDIOT because Remus is probably EATING HIM FOR DINNER AS WE SPEAK AND ONCE HE FINDS OUT IT WAS MY FAULT HE'S GOING TO EAT ME TOO AND NOT IN THE NICE WAY AND OH GOD EVANS I AM SO SO SO FUCKED

vilyofthelalley June 22 2006, 01:08:13 UTC

You sent Severus to where Remus is RIGHT NOW, while he is- transformed?!

WHAT IN GOBLIN TOSSING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU SIRIUS? DO YOU EVEN THINK?

Oh Merlin. Oh FUCK. Ok, you need to tell someone- Dumbledore, McGonagall. I assume the teachers know about Remus?

And where is JAMES?

istuffmypants June 22 2006, 01:16:10 UTC

DON'T YOU THINK I'VE REALISED THAT BY NOW EVANS JESUS POG-PICNICKING CHRIST ON A BOBCAT, WOMAN.

I haven't the first fucking clue where James is. I told him what I'd done and he just TOOK OFF and told me to stay here and I can only assume he's gone to the Shack to ... to ... fuck, I don't even know what he thinks he's going to do, probably act the hero and ram his big fat head into something AS USUAL and he'll break off one of his antlers AGAIN and blame me for it AGAIN and fuck, Remus is totally going to eat me. DON'T LET HIM EAT ME, EVANS. I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE.

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