Disturbation ...
o.O so.... in the play, I'm acting as Rosalind, who falls in love with Orlando. Orlando is played by Kevin, who is my best friends little brother, and it's weirding me out. >_<
Part of the reason it's weirding me out, is Kevin doesn't always act professional about it, and will come out with some really awkward comments, and when you're acting, you HAVE to bare your emotions (or it doesn't come out as authentic)so usually obnoxious comments are like, "meh" but it's HORRIBLE when you're acting.
But the other reason is, and I shoulda' thought of this - I avoid at all cost anythign smacking of romance.
I don't read romance novels, I don't watch chick flicks or romantic movies, I just ... avoid the subject all together. I supress all romantic emotions with the vim and vigor of a spanish inquisitor!!!!!!
so, it's really hard for me to bring those emotions out into the play. And it makes me exceedingly uncomfortable, and yeah.
See, when I do muck about with romance, I start feeling miserable. "Oh I wish, ..." "If only ..." etc. etc. I feel miserable enough about feeling single on a daily basis without encouraging things. Y'know what I mean?
So ... it's just ... difficult. I think I'll speak to Kev about being more professional, 'cause that'll help, but nothing is gonna help my mixed up emotions. XD I'll just keep muddling through.
Interesting enough, Shani and Lisa and I had a conversation about femininity awhile back, and they both said I was a very "romantic" person. This ... SHOCKED me. 'Cause i don't think I am, but they're right. I realized this after I though for awhile. EVEN THOUGH I do my best to squelch romanticism from my spirit, and I certainly don't give it free rein AT ALL, it still leaks out in my art, in my writing ... in my dreams.
Which is why it must be stopped.
Not taht romance is a bad thing, but ... like I said, it makes me miserable. I'll explain more after church. : /
Part of the reason it's weirding me out, is Kevin doesn't always act professional about it, and will come out with some really awkward comments, and when you're acting, you HAVE to bare your emotions (or it doesn't come out as authentic)so usually obnoxious comments are like, "meh" but it's HORRIBLE when you're acting.
But the other reason is, and I shoulda' thought of this - I avoid at all cost anythign smacking of romance.
I don't read romance novels, I don't watch chick flicks or romantic movies, I just ... avoid the subject all together. I supress all romantic emotions with the vim and vigor of a spanish inquisitor!!!!!!
so, it's really hard for me to bring those emotions out into the play. And it makes me exceedingly uncomfortable, and yeah.
See, when I do muck about with romance, I start feeling miserable. "Oh I wish, ..." "If only ..." etc. etc. I feel miserable enough about feeling single on a daily basis without encouraging things. Y'know what I mean?
So ... it's just ... difficult. I think I'll speak to Kev about being more professional, 'cause that'll help, but nothing is gonna help my mixed up emotions. XD I'll just keep muddling through.
Interesting enough, Shani and Lisa and I had a conversation about femininity awhile back, and they both said I was a very "romantic" person. This ... SHOCKED me. 'Cause i don't think I am, but they're right. I realized this after I though for awhile. EVEN THOUGH I do my best to squelch romanticism from my spirit, and I certainly don't give it free rein AT ALL, it still leaks out in my art, in my writing ... in my dreams.
Which is why it must be stopped.
Not taht romance is a bad thing, but ... like I said, it makes me miserable. I'll explain more after church. : /