(no subject)
Being pregnant just sucks! I am tired of being sick and constantly in pain. The baby kicks my ass if I sleep on any side other than my left because he gets less oxygen but my left kidney still is tender. I can't get into the Urologist until the 26th so I could be poisoning my kid because my left kidney has been having problems and I would have no fucking idea. Weight gain is not only depressing but extremely uncomfortable! I have gained half my body weight and I am fucking sick and tired of people telling my that I have no right not complain because I was so skinny to start off with. My body isn't built to handle being this heavy. Why anyone would want fake breasts is totally beyond me; I went from a 32B to a 36DD and all I got was a permanently fucked up back and stretch marks. Why is so fucking hot about that? My hips can hardly handle all the extra weight gain and I feel like they might give out at any minute while I am standing. Even when I am laying down the increase in weight pinches the nerves in my hips sending shooting pain up my back and down my legs. My body has doubled its blood volume and so my heart rate has increased; I walk up stairs and my heart feels like I just finished running a 5k race. It has also caused me to have hot flashes and chest pains from my heart continually working so hard. People wonder why I don't drink caffeine now. Even the thought of having anything increase my heart rate is disgusting.
I hardly get to go anywhere or do anything. I stopped playing WoW for several reasons. My mom feels like it is tearing her family apart, which in a lot of ways it really is. My siblings never answer their phones and rarely go anywhere and do anything. Tim does nothing but sit in front of the computer and it is affecting his sleep and school heavily. Sean doesn't really like me playing the game because it is all I really do, though there is little else I can do anymore especially when I am in Dayton. The difference between me playing the game and my siblings is that I played out of boredom not addiction; I CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING ELSE! For several weeks I haven't even had the time to play because of baby shower preparations and that was a ton of fun. I spent most of my days being around my mom but my grandma takes precedence over everything once again now that the shower is over. I am bored out of my mind! Sean is working 80-120 hours a week. When he isn't working he is helping his family or relaxing in front of the TV or computer.
My grandmother is another thing that really bothers me. She is a miserable, self-centered, rude old woman who doesn't couldn't care less that she is having a great-grandchild in a month or so. If anything I think it angers her because it reminds her about her age. She constantly complains about EVERYTHING!!! Ten minutes before my shower was about to start she came out of her room and proceeded to tell me how ugly the decorations were and how I should have done them differently. Then she complained about how my shower was interfering with her life because of all the extra people and cars that would be there. She lives in my parents house where the shower was held and she refused to come. How fucked up is that?!?! She complains about the food my mother makes, the way my mother chooses to cook and clean, she is outright cruel in the way she talks to Tim. Everything out of her mouth is condescending and hurtful. My mother says she is trying to be humorous but it doesn't matter. She will even bitch about the weather and say how it should have been sunny because she wanted it to be. What is worse is that my parents both put up with her shit! She makes my mother cry because of how rude and thoughtless she is but no one says anything.
I am just so sick of it all!
I hardly get to go anywhere or do anything. I stopped playing WoW for several reasons. My mom feels like it is tearing her family apart, which in a lot of ways it really is. My siblings never answer their phones and rarely go anywhere and do anything. Tim does nothing but sit in front of the computer and it is affecting his sleep and school heavily. Sean doesn't really like me playing the game because it is all I really do, though there is little else I can do anymore especially when I am in Dayton. The difference between me playing the game and my siblings is that I played out of boredom not addiction; I CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING ELSE! For several weeks I haven't even had the time to play because of baby shower preparations and that was a ton of fun. I spent most of my days being around my mom but my grandma takes precedence over everything once again now that the shower is over. I am bored out of my mind! Sean is working 80-120 hours a week. When he isn't working he is helping his family or relaxing in front of the TV or computer.
My grandmother is another thing that really bothers me. She is a miserable, self-centered, rude old woman who doesn't couldn't care less that she is having a great-grandchild in a month or so. If anything I think it angers her because it reminds her about her age. She constantly complains about EVERYTHING!!! Ten minutes before my shower was about to start she came out of her room and proceeded to tell me how ugly the decorations were and how I should have done them differently. Then she complained about how my shower was interfering with her life because of all the extra people and cars that would be there. She lives in my parents house where the shower was held and she refused to come. How fucked up is that?!?! She complains about the food my mother makes, the way my mother chooses to cook and clean, she is outright cruel in the way she talks to Tim. Everything out of her mouth is condescending and hurtful. My mother says she is trying to be humorous but it doesn't matter. She will even bitch about the weather and say how it should have been sunny because she wanted it to be. What is worse is that my parents both put up with her shit! She makes my mother cry because of how rude and thoughtless she is but no one says anything.
I am just so sick of it all!