L/Light drabble
Title: “A Songless Bird”
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: PG
Summary: L knows. He just can’t say it out loud. [Light/L] Please R&R!
Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.
A/N: artsatalex gave me 10 words to write a drabble with. I failed at one, sorry))) But the other nine are there.
A SONGLESS BIRD
L is probably the loneliest person in the world. He has Watari, of course, as well as some acquaintances in numerous places he’s had the fortune to visit or live in. He has people who are indebted to him like Aiber or Wedy; people who respect him like the NPA members… But nothing can make one feel more lonely than the feeling that one’s losing something precious. L has just found a friend, and he’s losing this bond - to Kira, to the world, to himself as L, the world’s best detective who’s never been wrong. Isn’t it fucking poetic?
His life lies in ruins around him. L stares at the pristine white page of the Death Note with vague curiosity. How can this thing be such a dreadful murder device? It makes his blood run cold, the fear of death, decay, oblivion. Deep in thought L grazes the paper with his nail, forming the kanji character for ‘nani’. What, just what is it in death that frightens him so much? Maybe nothing, the Nothing, and he doesn’t want to dissolve, to lose himself completely, to lose whatever ties he still has to this world…
Deep down inside L is a fatalist. He knows life is a gamble. He closes the notebook and squints at Light who promptly pretends he’s not looking in his direction. ‘I know,’ L thinks very confidently.
He is mesmerized by the prospect. His only friend is Kira. He knows it and he doesn’t reject it. He doesn’t hate Light for being what he is. He’s even somewhat grateful: if it wasn’t for the Death Note they would not have met.
Light smiles all too innocently at him. L wonders just why he spends so much time indoors now that he’s unchained. Is he watching him? ‘Watching me watching you,’ L muses. ‘Clever, Yagami Light. I’ll give you that.’
L wonders just what it would take to write his own name in that Notebook. He could delay his death by this act. But if he does it now it will only mean death will come. In the end L is afraid. These thoughts are so obtrusive; a more superstitious person would have pegged them for an ill omen, but L believes in such things no more than he believes in aliens or Father Frost.
Light crosses the room and sits down beside him. L casts a dubious glance at him and looks back to his sweets. Light snorts humourously, looks around to make sure no one’s looking (including the Shinigami) and plants a soft kiss on his neck. This quick exchange is still a mystery to L.
“If I were to have you blindfolded,” Light whispers in his ear, “would you still trust me?”
‘Hmm… What kind of a question is that? Is he testing me?’ L skews his huge wondering eyes up at Light. The youth smiles and covers them with his hands and glides his lips down the curve of L’s jaw.
L is suddenly acutely aware of what the man next to him is. The ever evasive Kira. The Judge, the Equitable Murderer. This is the touch, the scent, the taste of Kira, his pulse and breathing.
L knows, has always known. He just can’t bring himself to say it out loud.
October 18 - December 18, 2007
The words were: the first snow, a songless bird, ruins, frost, blindfolded, fucking, ill omen, nani, mesmerize. The one I failed at was: monochromatic.