I have to admit that ever since I saw the trailer, I hadn't expected anything good from this show. I was not wrong. But this is such epic crack, almost the Sleepy Hollow level, that I just had to. You know.
And because I was watching this awesomeness with
shirogiku, the crack was tripled.
shirogiku: Always dirt and graves again. I'm waiting for Icky.
Shaitanah: It's DARK XD It foreshadows the vampires in this show. Otherwise we wouldn't understand that it's about vampires. Oh, hello, sexy. Vamp mummy. IMHOTEP!
(c) popinsomniacscue Mysterious Voice: After all these long years...
Shaitanah: After all these long years... nothing's happening.
shirogiku: After all these long years... should be a meme. After all these long years... A SMOOTHIE. ...blood is life. We sure didn't know that.
Shaitanah: No, we didn't, we're stoopid like all those ppl who have never seen a vamp movie.
shirogiku: That transformation is a metaphor for Photoshop.
(c) popinsomniacsshirogiku: At least he changed from grave clothes. He wins over Icky.
shirogiku: Flashback at first sight. That was quick.
Shaitanah: How romantic.
[Dracula presents light bulbs. A big room with levers is shown.}
shirogiku: WRONG LEVER. WHY DO WE HAVE THiS LEVER?
Shaitanah: Where are the crocs?
shirogiku: IDK. Best part of any levers.
[Title card]
Shaitanah: LOL, we are reminded what show this is.
shirogiku: In case we forgot what the show was. Why didn' they call it Light Bulb? The show. Magical light bulb.
Shaitanah: He might invent smth else. [Dracula calls the presentation illuminating.] He knows puns.
[Meanwhile some Uma Thurman-wannabe femme fatale with big breasts is revealed to know everything about vampires.]
Shaitanah: Everyone knows everything of course. Except Bella... I mean, Mina. Mina is ofc an unconventional Victorian woman, she does science. [with Van Helsing no less]
shirogiku: How unique.
[Have we mentioned black Renfield? We're nothing if not PC.]
shirogiku: It looks like they're in a rush so they're going through, like, a checklist. Have a Mina, have a flashback, have a bitey. Oh, here's Harker, here's Lucy not liking him. And of course opera. [Booby chick a.k.a. Uma Thurman has a moment with Dracula] Why she's moaning already? He's not even doing anything.
Shaitanah: He's that good.
[Too bad he doesn't eat her. She goes completely...]
Shaitanah: KILL BILL!
(c) katerinasalvatoreshirogiku: She thinks she's a Slayer or smth and she keeps a vampy in a cage.
Shaitanah: Super accent. Is she Russian?
shirogiku: Romania?
Shaitanah: Isn't it the same country?
[Dracula and Van Helsing are revealed to be working together. They both have Tragic PastTM and don't really get along. Darth Vader Choke and Insane Troll Logic follow]
(c) peetahalesshirogiku: So this is where Bad Hal learned to head tilt. Do they all practice together on weekends?
All in all: Meyers is hot, Katie McGrath looks terrible with blond hair, Mina of course has to be special (with all the things they've changed: Harker is a journalist, Renfield is black, Dracula and Van Helsing working together - couldn't they excise the annoying Stelena-like past love thing?), everything is mostly ridic, I'll keep watching for epic crack.
This has been your daily dose of what the fuck have I just watched and why. Cheers!