Carry On
Carry over
Carry foward
Cary Grant
But seriously.
Stuck in my head.
I keep searching for answers in these videos.
As though these images of her younger self will somehow reveal the big moment.
As though it matters.
As though, even if I had a time machine, I would go back and change anything.
Really though she might have done better as an only child.
Of course all of this searching requires the preface that there is something to search for.
That she is truly off her proverbial rocker.
I do wonder.
If only Detective Goran were real. He would know instantly from watching these videos.
As a side note, I still haven't accepted it.
Not fully.
Otherwise my subconscious wouldn't keep arguing with me in my sleep.
It makes these videos
something.
Not sure how to phrase it or even if I want to say it out loud.
Or type it which amounts to the same thing, symbolically.
Song ended, time to restart it.
Eventually I'll stop watching it.
Eventually.
Watching all of us together and trying to see how everyone ended up as they are now was very strange.
As far as looks everything makes sense.
The twins make sense.
Many of Tracy's kids.
Olivia.
Me.
But like Natalie and Anna and even Scottie I just can't tell.
Not necessarily because they're too young.
But possibly.
Really these videos just make time seem like even more of an illusion.
Even harder to grasp.
They were her age now and now they're their age and all of the time in-between is...where?
Gone.
But gone where?
I'm not deep enough for this.
I should stop before this song ends again.
Shut down my poor, tired laptop and go to sleep.
Maybe something nice will happen tomorrow.
I hope so.
Carry foward
Cary Grant
But seriously.
Stuck in my head.
I keep searching for answers in these videos.
As though these images of her younger self will somehow reveal the big moment.
As though it matters.
As though, even if I had a time machine, I would go back and change anything.
Really though she might have done better as an only child.
Of course all of this searching requires the preface that there is something to search for.
That she is truly off her proverbial rocker.
I do wonder.
If only Detective Goran were real. He would know instantly from watching these videos.
As a side note, I still haven't accepted it.
Not fully.
Otherwise my subconscious wouldn't keep arguing with me in my sleep.
It makes these videos
something.
Not sure how to phrase it or even if I want to say it out loud.
Or type it which amounts to the same thing, symbolically.
Song ended, time to restart it.
Eventually I'll stop watching it.
Eventually.
Watching all of us together and trying to see how everyone ended up as they are now was very strange.
As far as looks everything makes sense.
The twins make sense.
Many of Tracy's kids.
Olivia.
Me.
But like Natalie and Anna and even Scottie I just can't tell.
Not necessarily because they're too young.
But possibly.
Really these videos just make time seem like even more of an illusion.
Even harder to grasp.
They were her age now and now they're their age and all of the time in-between is...where?
Gone.
But gone where?
I'm not deep enough for this.
I should stop before this song ends again.
Shut down my poor, tired laptop and go to sleep.
Maybe something nice will happen tomorrow.
I hope so.