(no subject)
I updated my artsite and everyone should go check out my random pictures from Europe.
www.issamonster.deviantart.com
Just browse the gallery.
Randomly busted out The Used's first cd. Still love it.
Still looking for a new job, though I still like Glamour Shots. Damn gas prices.
Car needs a new paint job. *sigh*
I hate not having money.
Fixed my MP3 player, and I'm very happy.
Realized I let go of majority of the relationships I had with people... Things are less complicated, but I have too much time to think sometimes.
Mario's pretty much out of the picture. I think I've seen him twice in the past month, and both times were pretty much just for clarifying that he was never going to give up pot, so we can never be together. ...Not like I didn't see it coming though.
It's one less stressful thing in my life. ...But I do miss male attention. The only male attention I get is from my boss, who's 27 and has a gf. Other than that, the only person I spend time with is Angie, and she lacks a certain organ... Oh, and Mario's mommy, but that's because I've adopted her to be my OP mom, since mine lives in VA.
...Personally, that's just too much estrogen to be around. I'd hate to be an Angie (no offense, love), but I'm craving male attention sooooo bad right now.
The problem is that I'm so damn picky. There are a few guys that are interested in me, but I hate the whole dating thing. Every guy I've ever dated was my friend first, with the exception of Stuart and Mario, and that's because they were instant sparks. And I still can't remember what it was that caught my interest...
But in the dating world... I have no clue how the rules work.
And I just don't like it.
And I feel bad about referring to Mario all the time... But he was such a huge part of my life. I'll always love him, though I'll never know why I do. But it's the same with Stuart. Though it was more of a fling, the feelings we shared in that horribly short time were enough that I'll remember them forever.
...However, they were both cases of a love that just didn't work. And though it's sad, I'm okay with it, because I have hope that one day I'll find the guy I'm meant to be with. I just hate the idea of being alone for a long time. AND DATING. uggghh. I hate it so much.
Rant Rant Rant, I know. I'm done.
www.issamonster.deviantart.com
Just browse the gallery.
Randomly busted out The Used's first cd. Still love it.
Still looking for a new job, though I still like Glamour Shots. Damn gas prices.
Car needs a new paint job. *sigh*
I hate not having money.
Fixed my MP3 player, and I'm very happy.
Realized I let go of majority of the relationships I had with people... Things are less complicated, but I have too much time to think sometimes.
Mario's pretty much out of the picture. I think I've seen him twice in the past month, and both times were pretty much just for clarifying that he was never going to give up pot, so we can never be together. ...Not like I didn't see it coming though.
It's one less stressful thing in my life. ...But I do miss male attention. The only male attention I get is from my boss, who's 27 and has a gf. Other than that, the only person I spend time with is Angie, and she lacks a certain organ... Oh, and Mario's mommy, but that's because I've adopted her to be my OP mom, since mine lives in VA.
...Personally, that's just too much estrogen to be around. I'd hate to be an Angie (no offense, love), but I'm craving male attention sooooo bad right now.
The problem is that I'm so damn picky. There are a few guys that are interested in me, but I hate the whole dating thing. Every guy I've ever dated was my friend first, with the exception of Stuart and Mario, and that's because they were instant sparks. And I still can't remember what it was that caught my interest...
- I love intellegent guys. Not necessarily booksmart... I mean, booksmart is good, too...guys that pick up a book once in a while, and could possibly help me with my homework (if ever I needed it...). Like, Mario wasn't good at math, but he was really creative and resourceful and knew how to cook very well. And both he and Stuart knew a lot more about electrical stuff and cars than I do. So it was a situation where I could learn from them. ..But neither of them were excessively nerdy either. I do attract booksmart guys once in while, and it's lovely and all to talk to people on the same wavelength, but a lot of booksmart people tend to teeter on the verge of being excessively...well, dorky. And I can only stand it so much.
- I like older guys. It's not a shallow thing at all... I've just never connected with any guys my own age. ...But I wont date guys that are more than 3 years older than me, either, because then I feel like I'm being used or something. ...At least at this age.
- I love artsy guys. However, I have a reallllly hard time finding them. Majority of the art classes I've taken have mostly consisted of females and the occasional guy. The problem is that there seems to be a shortage of decently attractive artistic guys around here, without them being totally dark and morbid, which I can only stand so much of with my flowery perspective on life. ...But guys that are musically talented count, too, as long as they aren't the type that can't go 5 minutes of sitting in their room without picking up their guitar. I hate that.
- I like guys that have similar taste in music as me, which is realllly hard to come by, so I don't make it essential. Mitchell liked some of my music, and Mario and I had a lot of music in common, but it's not very often that you find guys that know who Mirah or The Postal Service or Explosions In The Sky even are, muchless that like them.
- The last thing I look for in a guy--aside from being a fairly good cook, which I don't seem to have a problem finding--is a guy with some confidence. Though Mario lacked much self-esteem, he at least had enough confidence to flirt...a lot. And I love that. I love guys that flirt. It's fun. I'm not a fan of pickup lines or anything, but I love when a guy that will do about anything to get my attention. Stuart used to pick me up and walk around with me, Mario took things from the concession table I was helping with to get my attention, and also skipped class to find me at lunch. Silly things like that. I love it.
But in the dating world... I have no clue how the rules work.
And I just don't like it.
And I feel bad about referring to Mario all the time... But he was such a huge part of my life. I'll always love him, though I'll never know why I do. But it's the same with Stuart. Though it was more of a fling, the feelings we shared in that horribly short time were enough that I'll remember them forever.
...However, they were both cases of a love that just didn't work. And though it's sad, I'm okay with it, because I have hope that one day I'll find the guy I'm meant to be with. I just hate the idea of being alone for a long time. AND DATING. uggghh. I hate it so much.
Rant Rant Rant, I know. I'm done.