Please, just be nice to me...
I just feel a sense of regression in my non-existant relationship with Mario. Things got better, then bad again.
He makes me want to cry with his actions... I just want him to be nice to me... Honestly, I fall so quickly for people that are nice to me. If I weren't so in love with Mario and so determined to have it work, I know very well who I would go after next, just because he's nice to me. With all the cruel people I've been exposed to in my life that have made the world seem bleak, nice people just warm and melt my heart.
But no matter what he does, I can't help loving him... And I don't understand why. It makes me want to place my head under the tire of a car.
There's a song by Frou Frou that keeps popping into my head... I don't recall the name of the song, but the chorus goes as so: "I've got a good mind to throw it all away, throw it all away... I've got a good mind to throw it all away...After all, what is it worth?" [Edit: song titled "Maddening Shroud"]
Sometimes I wonder if the songs that pop up are omens or just reflections of how I'm subliminally feeling.
For instance: Today, "All That I've Got" by The Used started playing at 11:11am on my cd player in Pre-Cal (not that precal is of any significance). But the lyrics are, to me... It's one of the songs that I sang all the time when Mario broke up with me. "I'll be just fine..." I'll always bounce back...
*sigh*
There's just no one else like him... And he fit in so neatly into my life plans.
I brought my friend Vicky to youthgroup with me tonight. I'm interested in hooking up her and Mike. I think they hit off okay. Who knows...
If only the chemistry between couples was easily manipulated as the experiments performed in chemistry class. If it were, God I'd have no problems. Add a chemical here to fix an imbalance and BAM... perfection.
Just shoot me.
He makes me want to cry with his actions... I just want him to be nice to me... Honestly, I fall so quickly for people that are nice to me. If I weren't so in love with Mario and so determined to have it work, I know very well who I would go after next, just because he's nice to me. With all the cruel people I've been exposed to in my life that have made the world seem bleak, nice people just warm and melt my heart.
But no matter what he does, I can't help loving him... And I don't understand why. It makes me want to place my head under the tire of a car.
There's a song by Frou Frou that keeps popping into my head... I don't recall the name of the song, but the chorus goes as so: "I've got a good mind to throw it all away, throw it all away... I've got a good mind to throw it all away...After all, what is it worth?" [Edit: song titled "Maddening Shroud"]
Sometimes I wonder if the songs that pop up are omens or just reflections of how I'm subliminally feeling.
For instance: Today, "All That I've Got" by The Used started playing at 11:11am on my cd player in Pre-Cal (not that precal is of any significance). But the lyrics are, to me... It's one of the songs that I sang all the time when Mario broke up with me. "I'll be just fine..." I'll always bounce back...
*sigh*
There's just no one else like him... And he fit in so neatly into my life plans.
I brought my friend Vicky to youthgroup with me tonight. I'm interested in hooking up her and Mike. I think they hit off okay. Who knows...
If only the chemistry between couples was easily manipulated as the experiments performed in chemistry class. If it were, God I'd have no problems. Add a chemical here to fix an imbalance and BAM... perfection.
Just shoot me.