(no subject)
i really do love you, and talking to you every once in a while would be nice. you and everybody thinks i'm depressed when really i'm just exceptionally worn out. with standards and everything, it's hard to keep up. remember summer? i ask you that a lot. you say yeah, and you usually smile and shake your head and look at the ground like you always do when i talk in circles. like now, now you would be shaking your head.
yesterday an old dark woman saw me crying in my car at a stoplight and she held up her hand and smiled at me, which made me cry harder because i shouldn't have even been crying in the first place when i'm surrounded by people holding up their hands at me and smiling.
i went to the library by myself this afternoon, and even though i didn't shower today, i felt like the cleanest person there. and i've been doing a lot of community service lately for no real reason, and that makes me feel clean in a different way.
yesterday an old dark woman saw me crying in my car at a stoplight and she held up her hand and smiled at me, which made me cry harder because i shouldn't have even been crying in the first place when i'm surrounded by people holding up their hands at me and smiling.
i went to the library by myself this afternoon, and even though i didn't shower today, i felt like the cleanest person there. and i've been doing a lot of community service lately for no real reason, and that makes me feel clean in a different way.