Oh life, how I waste it having fun
So I had a great weekend, though I really needed to get a lot more work done than I had. I just have to work my ass off this week.
Friday started off badly, I was late to work for the first time but 10 minutes. But fortunately, neither of my bosses had come in. So I had time to get breakfast and open shop. We typically turn the tv on in wismer lower but lately there's been this class in there so I haven't been able to do so. So then my bosses yell at me for not turning it on and then the teacher yells at me for turning it on and distracting her class. Who the hell moves the location of her class and doens't tell anyone? And why the hell would you want a class there anyway? Don't yell at me for doing my job you jerk.
Then I went to class, then to lunch, then I took a nap. And what a lovely nap it was. I really needed on b/c Tristan and I had talked on the phone for nearly four hours until 3 am or so. We honestly would have kept talking if my battery had not died. Hence the reason why I was so late for work.
We talked about us of course, one of those semi-serious conversations in which you ask those awkward questions and love the other person more for having answered them. I don't think that what I remember from that convo is important enough to post here. If I remember something I'll post it later.
Then he came up on Friday night with Sam. We watched the Laramie project here at Ursinus and it was done really well. I heard people asking the directors if it was done by only students or by professionals too and apparently, there hasn't yet been a play (at least one good enough) in which someone asked that. But yes, the play is all student run and done very well I might add.
Then afterward, we hung out with the boyos, it was crampy and not as fun as it normally is, but I was there for the excuse to spend as much time with Tristan as I could while he was there. And by default, I coulodn't see sam as much, there were just too many damn people in that little room.
Come 2 am Sam and Tristan left. Saturday morning came around, I had trouble waking up, I went to brunch and it was Thor's (pronounced "tore"), birthday. He turned 21, yay for him. The Saturday before was Stone-san's birthday, so Liz, Thor's girlfriend, through a party for the both of them. It was a small, last minute thing, but it was still butt loads of fun. The cake was too sweet and made me sick, but my friends were all so funny that I hardly noticed.
Then I talked to Josh, or asshole, as I so newly named him. I was surprised at how that conversation ended, it didn't go where I had expected, not even for him. Good or bad, whether at my fault or his, I'm still proud that I stood up for myself, perhaps for the first time in my life. And I told the god honest truth about feelings, such a habbit that's becomming the norm for me. I realize I was mean, cruel even, but that was the truth, the truth I had held inside of me for far too long. So I can't regret what I said, or what the outcome was. And no, I can't even regret how I will be in the future.
Later on, Tristan came back over. He came with the purpose to spend some alone time with me. So I made him go shopping with me to buy laundry detergent then we went to a Chinese resturant where we spent the evening staring at each other and smiling awkwardly. It was the first time the two of us had gone to a resturant and had it been only the two of us. I find this rather ironic since we had met and became friends by going to the pub with Jess almost every day.
On the ride home, he kissed my hand and vered off the road as he was lost in a train of thought which he describes as "hmmmm" which while I thought was hysterical, makes me slightly afriad to ever let him hold my hand again.
We got back and spent a good 10 minutes alone in my room before Tim called and asked us to watch "Hot Fuzz" with him and the rest of the gang. (rest of gang: Tad (pronounced Todd), Pat-pat, collin, Toni (a girl), and Hobbit) And yes, some how we managed to get everyone in a car at once to go to wawa. Don't ask me how. Now this movie is currently out in England and will be in the US in 4 months. It's made by the same people and the same actors who were in Shawn of the Dead. So yes, it was a rediculous parady that I recomend everyone see-if only b/c they make a "better tomorrow" reference.
But after the movie, we came back and went to sleep. So much for alone time. If I didnt' have so much freakin' fun, I might complain. He stayed over b/c Jax had gone home for the rest of the weekend. And it was nice until he woke me up by shaking me b/c of whatever dream he was having. Then I awoke in an angry fit, b/c I am not in any way a morning person, and proceeded to wake him up by hitting him and calling him names, in which he then awoke, smiled, and pulled me into a hug.
Then we fell back to sleep.
He had to leave at 9 in the morning in order to be home by 10. Took a little while to let him leave, but it was nice goodbye either way. I go to the bathroom and try to fall alseep again. Then I get a text message a half an hour later from Triscuit saying that he got home safe and I'm like, "damn, he drives fast." It always takes my mom an hour at least to get to ursinus.
So now I'm to Sunday, I woke up much against my will, dressed in my pledged clothes for the last time, and met the U Phi girls for brunch. We did last minute pledging activities before we finally, at long last, got our letters. I love my letters especially, they're special.
I can't say all I want to about that, it is a secret after all. But the rest of my day was very unproductive. So now I'm back to real life, where I can no longer hide the blame of my horrible grades behind pledging activities. I have to work my ass off this week to catch up for a months worth of work undone. It should be fun.
I need to find my motivation again. I currently have no reason to do well in school. I don't know if I'm going to grad school and I somehow doubt I'll even need to. I'm not under pressure to do well like I was in high school. I wish I was, then I'd have motivation to do something, anything. It seems that I have once again lost my purpose. So perhaps my mission now that pledging is over, is to find said purpose.
This should be fun.
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