Luck and another kind of Love
+ Oh, to be in love with your friends. Not sexual love, although it can be erotic. Sometimes I will kiss them quickly on the cheek or wrap my arms to cocoon them much brotherly, not to confuse them but to let them know I can *love* in my clumsy, coy way. However, l-o-v-e is a broken mirror, an inept microwave. It's possible to be so chock full of broken intent. Why can't I hold a hand without it meaning I want to fuck the rest of the vessel? Friendship has a dangerous slant sometimes too. It's part beloved, part proprietor. And those two words are too similar sounding to dove and pirahna for me. I don't know what love is, but Krishnamurti said it best.
"Love is something that is new, fresh, alive. It has no yesterday and no tomorrow. It is beyond the turmoil of thought."
I would say friendships are something new, fresh and alive too. While I have them from yesterday to tomorrow, they too must be beyond the turmoil of thought. And, yes, I can fuck that up too.
+ Today, in my office at work, I was pulling out some papers and a tiny, orangey-red ladybug flew out of the bottom on to a file cabinet. I smiled a little, laughed and told Angela, another manager, that ladybugs meant good luck in Germany. Later while I was outside on a sunny sidewalk break, I opened up an old copy of Anne Sexton's COMPLETE POEMS and started reading about the inside of whale bellies and crazy ladies when a small black spider crawled out of the spine on to my pants. I wondered if that was Anne's way of good luck. Maybe. Maybe not.
+ One of my employees, who goes on breaks with me quite frequently, told me she got me a little present. Sharon is a fairly quiet, country girl who never goes *into* the city. On her weekends she likes to fish and hang out on her porch. Well, today she pulled out of her pocket two thumbsized, dirty crystals she found the other weekend. She said she went "crystal hunting" in her backyard and thought they'd bring me good luck if I put them in my pocket so that they'd rub together as I walked. I gave her a hug and a genuine thank you.
Today was a decisively beautiful day. I wish all decisions were that way.
Love,
Isom
"Love is something that is new, fresh, alive. It has no yesterday and no tomorrow. It is beyond the turmoil of thought."
I would say friendships are something new, fresh and alive too. While I have them from yesterday to tomorrow, they too must be beyond the turmoil of thought. And, yes, I can fuck that up too.
+ Today, in my office at work, I was pulling out some papers and a tiny, orangey-red ladybug flew out of the bottom on to a file cabinet. I smiled a little, laughed and told Angela, another manager, that ladybugs meant good luck in Germany. Later while I was outside on a sunny sidewalk break, I opened up an old copy of Anne Sexton's COMPLETE POEMS and started reading about the inside of whale bellies and crazy ladies when a small black spider crawled out of the spine on to my pants. I wondered if that was Anne's way of good luck. Maybe. Maybe not.
+ One of my employees, who goes on breaks with me quite frequently, told me she got me a little present. Sharon is a fairly quiet, country girl who never goes *into* the city. On her weekends she likes to fish and hang out on her porch. Well, today she pulled out of her pocket two thumbsized, dirty crystals she found the other weekend. She said she went "crystal hunting" in her backyard and thought they'd bring me good luck if I put them in my pocket so that they'd rub together as I walked. I gave her a hug and a genuine thank you.
Today was a decisively beautiful day. I wish all decisions were that way.
Love,
Isom