(no subject)
Title: Saved by an Angel
Author:
isolus_gurl
Artist:
this_impulse
Tier/wordcount: 10,762 (1st tier)
Genre: Slash
Pairings: Sam/Gabriel and background established Dean/Castiel
Ratings: PG-13
Warnings: May be traumatic to victims of bullying
Summery: Sam is having problems at school and doesn’t trust anyone to tell them. When Gabriel shows up in his life however things may just be about to change for the better, especially as Gabriel seems to be having problems of his own. Can they help each other?
A/N: huge love and thanks to my beta and personal friend,
actually_tragic for so much support, patience and general encoragement. thanks for putting up with my Britishness and hopelessness at grammar!!! thanks also to my artist this_impulse for making me such amazing art despite having computer problems!!!
This was not meant to be split but it was the only way LJ would let me post it.
Art Masterpost: http://this-impulse.livejournal.com/6577.html
Fic:
Gabriel winced, a cold sweat pouring over him. Before he could register what was happening, a face was looming over him, laughing.
“Castiel is dead, Anna is dead, Balthazar is dead. Your family are dead. You have nobody.”
Gabriel screamed even though for some reason, he knew it wasn’t true. He turned to one side and saw Castiel, complete with trench coat, covered in blood laughing.
“You’re on your own Gabriel” with another horrified scream he turned around again to find Anna staring at him, silently shaking her head.
“How could I ever have loved you Gabriel? You are not my brother.” With a final scream Gabriel awoke, clutching desperately at the sheets. Roughly wiping the tears from his eyes he sat up. He knew it was only a dream. It wasn’t the dream that bothered him. Everyone had nightmares sometime. It was the thought he couldn’t quite shift that the dream was right. That he was indeed alone. Shoving the thought aside for the moment (he couldn’t keep it at bay forever) he rose to his feet and gently plodded downstairs for a sweet mug of coffee to both wake him up and distract him. He wasn’t alone, not really. He had Castiel and Anna and Balthazar and Luci and Michael. He even had Dean to a certain extent. However much he teased Castiel otherwise, he did consider Dean as family. He tried to ignore the fact they all had someone else. Even Castiel. Thinking of Castiel he decided to wake him up with a cup of coffee, spend some time with him for a few hours before Cas had to go to school. It was about the only time he did get to see him. Sighing at his unsuccessful attempt to rid his mind of the thought he turned and flicked the switch on the coffee machine.
On the other side of town, Sam thumped the snooze button on his alarm as it squealed at him. Another day at school was not what he needed right now. He knew he had to go, had to keep learning, so he could go to college and get him and Dean out of this tiny rundown apartment they had called home since after the fire when Sam was a baby.
His mom had died that evening, the smoke alarm had failed and it had been too late to save her from the flames consuming the house. His Dad had tried to fight through the flames after handing Sam to Dean with explicit instructions to get Sam out of there so they would be safe. His Dad had rarely gotten over the loss of their mother and had thrown himself wholeheartedly into his work and so was rarely home, leaving Dean with almost sole responsibility of Sam. Sometimes Sam wished Dean hadn’t saved him that night.
The alarm waking him from his thoughts Sam got up, wincing at his bruises, he knew he had better get ready though or Dean would suspect something and that would only make things worse. The last thing he needed was Dean cottoning onto his troubles. Opening his wardrobe he selected the least shabby of Dean’s hand-me-downs and headed out of his room to grab some breakfast before he caught the bus and faced his tormenters for yet another day of living hell.
He was still musing over his situation when Castiel let himself in with the key Dean had given him. Since Cas and Dean had started dating a few months ago Cas had grown into a second brother to Sam, someone he could always turn to and ask for help. Sam had even considered telling Cas about his situation, Cas had suffered a similar fate at high school so might have some helpful advice, but Sam couldn’t risk him telling Dean. If Dean knew he would try to help, but ultimately make things worse. Sam may not know much about how to help himself but he knew that telling someone was the worst thing someone being bullied could do. Besides, what would Dean think of him; Smart, strong, popular Dean, lumbered with his weakling, helpless little brother.
“Hi Sam, are you okay?”
“Hey Cas, I’m fine thanks, just stuck in thought, you?”
“I’m good as you might expect thank you Sam. May I enquire what you were thinking about?”
“Oh just school, nothing important. Dean’s in his room, you can go through if you want.”
“You are not having problems I hope?”
“Me? Nah.”
“Very well then. I will go and check on Dean.”
Sam chuckled to himself as Castiel walked towards Dean’s room, his trench coat flowing behind him. He had always been overly formal, even with Dean who Sam knew was one of the few privileged people Cas let himself relax around.
After eating his toast Sam called out to Dean and Castiel to let them know he was going and headed for the bus stop. They would come later in the Impala as they had a spare first thing. Sam was not looking forward to today as was becoming the norm. He tried humming his favourite song of the moment Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas. Though rock was normally Dean’s forte, the lyrics seemed to calm him down so he often found himself humming it to himself. He made a mental note to himself to check out more of Dean’s collection just in case having a better knowledge of pop culture would help him fit in.
As he rounded the corner to the bus stop his heart sank as he saw Alistair and Zachariah waiting for him. Every day he hoped they would be ill and would have to stay home but everyday he found them lying in wait for him. Today was no different.
He felt Alistair grab him from behind and fleetingly wondered how he had managed to get behind him but shoved the thought aside when he saw Zachariah’s face looming in front of his.
“Are you gonna be good today?” Zachariah sneered spitting over his face in the process.
“Fuck off Zachariah” Sam retorted. Words were all he had to defend himself as, apart from the usual problem of being outnumbered by the bastards, Alistair had his arms behind his back.
“I guess we will have to take the persuasion up a notch again then. Don’t you agree Alistair”
“You had your chance Sam” and without further commotion Sam’s face was shoved hard into the mailbox. He felt the blood trickling down from his lip as he was manhandled to the ground. He put up a fight - he wasn’t about to let them walk all over him - but he didn’t hold out much hope.
Within five minutes Zachariah and Alistair were sat on a struggling Sam, joking about keeping him out of trouble this way and waiting for the bus.
Sam’s mind flashed back to the first time Alistair had picked him as prey.
“You’re in my way nerd,” Sam had ignored the dig and moved out of the way. What he had thought was politeness paved the way to a year of hell. Alistair had then seen him as an easy target. Sam had ignored the taunting; it didn’t bother him all that much anyway. He didn’t really care what people thought of him. The first time it got physical it had just been a shove. Sam ignored that too assuming if he showed no reaction they would move on to other prey. That’s what all the advice tells you to do. It hadn’t even been that noticeable anyway. He drew the line when Alistair punched him and he punched back. Things started escalating pretty fast after that. Alistair got his other cronies involved, Sam had suffered more and more vicious beatings. Over time he gave up fighting back, 3 against 1 never ended well… the longer it went on the harder it was to deal with, the worse it got the harder it was to hide. Sam began to dread every day. The constant verbal abuse began to affect his belief in himself. Life was becoming a constant drag.
Gabriel decided as he popped a toffee into his mouth that you know your life sucks when you’re sat at home watching daytime television. Forcing himself to sit up he decided a trip to the local candy store would be better than lounging around on the couch. He might even take a detour and go to the school to visit his little brother on the way, harass more than visit but minor details didn’t matter. Not to him anyway. If he remembered rightly Cas had a spare first so if he went to stock up on his sweets before going the school then he would arrive at just about the right time for second period to finish. Gabriel didn’t actually want to go into any lessons with him, just crash his break time.
Grabbing a lollipop before he left (candy was his guilty pleasure, all right) Gabriel took satisfaction in turning off whatever trash was currently on the TV and strolling out the door. He sometimes wished his brother could be as carefree as he felt and acted for all he knew and cared. Gabriel had never cared what people thought about him. The only people that mattered (his sister Anna, away at college, his brother Castiel and now Cas’s boyfriend Dean) liked him well enough for them all to get along happily and for him to not feel the need to care what others thought of him.
Stroking his baby as she purred into life, Gabriel slid into first gear, released the handbrake and relished the feel of his thunderbird as she slid off the drive.
Gabriel loved a candy shop; the smell of all the sweets, the warmth seeping into his bones, the brightness of the decor that reminds him of a rainbow, but most of all the choice. Gabriel could get all his favourite types of candy here and more. Before going to pay for his basket load of candy he even remembered to pick up a chocolate bar each for Dean and Cas. He was still congratulating himself on what a good brother he was when he climbed into his car.
Happily sucking on his new lollipop Gabriel thought nothing of the tall boy with floppy brown hair crouching behind the school wall as he drove into the parking lot to meet two out of the three most important people in his life. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. He never had anything better to do. Anna, Cas and Dean were all his life consisted of. If he could ever find a job he might actually have other important things in his life too.
As soon as he had parked he leapt out and made his way towards the secluded wooded area he knew Dean and Cas liked to spend their free time.
“Hey kids, I come bearing candy.”
“Oh Gabriel I didn’t know you cared,” Dean shot back whilst rolling his eyes at Cas.
“Yeah, yeah sure you didn’t. I’m only letting you make out with my little brother after all”
“Gabe, me and Dean aren’t making out as you so crudely put it and I think I grew out of being your little brother a number of years ago.” Castiel retorted.
“You’ll always be my little bro kiddo” Gabriel said, going serious for a minute before flinging their respective chocolate bars at the present company. “Don’t make too much mess now”
Dean shot a glance at Cas that Gabriel was sure roughly translated as ‘Gabriel is encroaching on our time’ but didn’t really care.
“So what exactly brings you down here Gabe? You graduated last year”
“Yeah and? technically we aren’t on school property and I have no intention of setting foot in that shack again, just using their parking lot so I can pay my little brother and his boyfriend a visit.”
“There is nothing on the TV then?”
“Three hundred channels and nothing’s on,” shrugged Gabriel.
“Now it becomes clear.”
“Look Gabriel do you really not have anything better to do?” Dean butted in.
“Well, when you put it that way...why do you think I’m here? Of course I don’t!”
“Well okay then I have something you can do.”
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna like this?”
“Because you probably won’t. I need you to keep an eye on Sam for me?” Dean said with pleading in his voice.
“What, your kid brother? I’ve never set eyes on him before and besides, I am not a babysitter.”
“Yeah well, you were the one who said you were bored. Here’s a photo of him an-”
“Dude, you carry a picture of your brother in your wallet?” Gabriel interrupted.
“Well, errm, he’s my only brother anyway I’m worried about him Gabriel, he’s not been himself lately, won’t spend any time with me anymore and nothing has changed at home...you know I can’t follow him at school, even if he would let me.” the latter Dean muttered under his breath.
“Okay...say for a minute I agree to this, what’s in it for me?”
“Gabriel,” Castiel joined in, a warning tone in his voice.
“Fine, lets have a closer look at that picture.” Gabriel snatched the picture from Dean’s outstretched hand and gasped when he saw the most attractive boy he had ever seen. “Okay then, I guess so.”
As Gabriel left Castiel turned around to Dean.
“There is nothing wrong with Sam, is there?” Castiel accused.
“Well, he is acting strangely, but it’s probably just a lot of work or something.” Dean replied sheepishly “What” he announced at the look on Castiel’s face “he was getting in the way.”
“And Sam?”
“Could probably use a new friend anyway, he’s always such a nerd with his head in his books.”
“You are very cunning, you know that?”
“That’s why you love me” Dean replied before capturing Cas’ lips with his own.
Sam slunk miserably out of the school. His day had been pretty bad and he was as certain as he could be it was only going to get worse. It had been so bad he had contemplated telling Dean or even Castiel, somebody to get it to stop. He might have done as well, he always confided everything in Dean but Dean was busy with Cas and besides, if he told Dean, he had bigger things to worry about than his weak baby brother. Sam so desperately didn’t want him to be disappointed in his little brother who it turned out couldn’t even stand up to some silly bullies. Sam never wanted to be a disappointment to Dean, ever. Dean was the only good thing in his life right now and he didn’t want to spoil that by telling him everything. Sam was even disappointed in himself. He didn’t have the guts to stand up for himself. Dean was brave and strong and never, ever let anybody get the better of him. Dean was a thousand times better than Sam would ever be.
Sam kept his head low as he heard familiar voices. Hoping they wouldn’t find him, Sam tried to convince himself that this would be the day he stood up to them, this would be the day he got rid of his demons.
“Hey nerd!” Sam sighed. It was too late. They had seen him.
“Talk to your superiors faggot” Sam stayed silent. He may not have the courage to stand up to these douchebags (he smiled to himself, taking comfort in Dean’s favourite insult) but he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of playing their game.
“Hey, what are you smiling at waif, shall I give you something to smile about” Zachaiah joined in the taunting. A physical kick in the stomach from Alistair had him wondering if it wouldn’t be easier to go along with them, not to mention less painful. Another kick and he fell to his knees in pain. It might not have been so bad if it weren’t for the other bruises he had sustained from them over the last few days.
“That’s right, that’s where abandoned children like you belong, on their knees at the feet of their superiors” Uriel joined in. While not strictly part of the group that bullied him, Uriel liked to get in on the action when he could.
“What do you say to your superiors?” Alistair crowed
Sam remained silent for 5 more minutes worth of beatings before he gave in and resigned himself to the last level of their torment.
“Sorry” he panted between the rolling waves of pain in his belly.
“Sorry what?”
“Sorry Alistair” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he had said the wrong thing. A hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked it back forcing his head with it for Sam to find himself inches away from Alistair’s face
“You are not worthy to call me by my name. Got it?”
“Err, yes” Sam didn’t want to ask what he was supposed to say fearing retribution. Sam had fought this torment for too long. His initial stance of resisting, had been weakening for a few months now, after a long year of gradually escalating bullying from these people his resolve not to let them get to him was weakening. As Alistair yanked on his hair again Sam felt his last ounce of resolve leave him. He felt himself giving into them. He would give them what they wanted. Whatever that was.
Gabriel hung around the school for the rest of the day, half hoping for a glimpse of Sam to satisfy Dean (he wasn’t stupid he knew Dean had been trying to get him out the way) but also to annoy his favourite couple. As the bell went he took a slow walk through the school grounds, for old times sake he tried to tell himself, he absolutely had no problem getting the image of that totally gorgeous brother of Dean’s out of his head. He didn’t see any sign of Dean’s brother and soon got tired of walking around so he went back to his car, with the vague hope someone would be in tonight.
When he did get home he went straight upstairs to check his email and could hear Castiel chatting to Anna in the kitchen as he was sat on his bed checking his emails on his mac. If it wasn’t so tragic it would be amusing that even the junk mail companies didn’t seem to want to email him. He lay back and enjoyed the rare sound of talking and happiness and people in the house, trying hard to ignore the ever growing sense of isolation. He closed his eyes and revelled in the other wonderful things happening. Cas was happy. Cas had found somewhere he belonged. For as long as he remembered Gabriel had been worried about Cas, he was different. Unashamedly wonderfully different, something the world as a whole generally didn’t like. Now Cas had Dean though who loved him for who he was. This was absolutely wonderful and Gabriel was so happy for Cas but he couldn’t help feeling a bit redundant. Not through anything Cas and Dean were doing but through pure loneliness. He had nobody. All his many brothers and sisters had found somebody. Even Lucifer and Michael had some sort of weird relationship going on. Gabriel just needed a friend, a partner, someone to keep him company, to care for him. Everyone was, quite rightly, busy with everyone else. However this had left Gabriel forgotten and try as Castiel might to keep Gabriel company Gabriel was no third wheel. Deciding to enjoy the company itself and not just the noise of it, he went downstairs and was met by an armful of flying auburn hair. “Hey Anna.”
“I’m so proud of you Gabriel, Cas told me what you’re doing, agreeing to look after Dean’s brother like that.” Gabriel glanced at Castiel, leaning casually against the counter, smiling at him in a way that was very unlike him. Gabriel knew what he was doing, sacrificing a night with their rarely seen sister for him. As much as he appreciated it, he wanted to enjoy the company of both of them.
“So Cas didn’t tell you his part in it then?”
The next morning he was walking up the driveway leading into the school when Gabriel caught sight of the brown haired boy from yesterday being beaten and felt the rage pumping through his veins. He realised the boy had not been playing around, rather hiding behind the wall. His hands balled into fists and he was halfway towards the boy’s attackers before he got a glimpse of the boys face and realised it was Sam. Dean’s Sam. Anybody important to Dean after how he had helped Cas, was by default important to him. Less than a minute later he literally saw red as the nose he had punched on what looked like the ringleader of the gang spurted blood. Gabriel kicked him whilst shouting obscenities at him and keeping an eye on Sam’s other attackers who backed off pretty quickly.
When he turned to face Sam he saw the boy had curled himself into a foetal position and was quite obviously terrified. Gabriel crouched down to him taking in the bruises where Sam’s shirt had ridden up, the cuts and marks that would turn into bruises, the split lip but most painfully the scared, broken look in his eyes as he shied away from Gabriel, obviously convinced he was the next victim after his attackers.
“Hey kiddo, I’m Castiel’s brother, Gabriel,” he hoped the mention of Castiel would show he could be trusted, “I’m not gonna hurt you I promise. I’m gonna get you to Dean so he can look after you.”
Sam slurred out something that sounded vaguely like Dean. His body was shutting down and going into shock now he knew he was safe and would be taken care of. Gabriel couldn’t figure out how Sam had managed to keep this from Dean for so long -unless and his stomach clenched at the thought - the level had been escalating for a while now. He had heard of cases like this, where the bullies would leave the victim for dead (although Gabriel hoped even if he hadn’t been here they wouldn’t have gone that far) it almost certainly meant Sam had been suffering for a while now.
Gabriel grabbed his cell and hit speed dial “Cas tell Dean to bring his car to the school gates NOW,” he barked before hanging up and scooping the larger boy into his arms almost effortlessly. He had always been strong and had never been more glad of it than now as he could carry Sam towards Dean without much of an effort. He hadn’t got far before he saw Dean, closely followed by Cas running towards him.
“Gabe! what the hell happened?” Dean called out in a blind panic.
“I think he’s okay, from what I can tell it’s mainly shock he’s suffering from.” Gabriel could see the worry in Castiel’s eyes as well and saw for the first time what a huge effect this kid had on the people around him. He had no intention of hiding what had happened to Sam from either of them, he just felt Sam should have the opportunity to tell them himself, or that at least he should try to break it to them gently, not while they were so worried about Sam. When Dean was opposite, Gabriel handed Sam over and saw Sam relax into his brothers arms.
“Shit. How could anybody hurt him like this? What do I do Cas?”
“Dean, I think we should take him to the hospital, just to be safe. After all, we do not know what we are dealing with here and he may have internal injuries” Cas spoke, ever the voice of reason.
That was how Gabriel and Castiel ended up sat in the ER four hours later with Gabriel wondering how he could be so worried about somebody he had only just met. The doctors had assured them that Sam seemed fine but they just wanted to keep him in for observation as they suspected he may have concussion. It appeared Sam had hit his head as he had been knocked to the floor, yet it wasn’t physical injuries Gabriel was worried about, rather the broken look he had seen in the boy’s eyes. Those sick bullies had quite obviously destroyed Sam’s confidence and Gabriel knew then he was in this for the long run. He was not going to abandon Sam, not when he was the one to find him, not when he felt so strongly for the boy already.
After Castiel had reassured Dean that if anything happened Gabriel would come and get him while he stayed with Sam, Dean had headed outside to try to contact their father. Gabriel wasn’t sure what he did other than it involved a lot of travel that meant he was away from home a lot. He made a mental note to find out. He vaguely remembered Castiel telling him something about a kindly next door neighbour keeping an eye on them, which kept the social away, the busy woman who owned ‘The Roadhouse’ Gabriel tried to remember her name, Ellie, Elsie, Ellen! That was it.
“So, Cas, how’s things going with you and Dean-o?”
“Very well thank you, but what is it you really want to know. You are not really interested in our relationship.”
“What’s the deal with Sam?”
“Well, in the way I suspect you are asking Sam and Dean have always been very close. As you know John is away a lot so Dean as good as raised Sam. Dean is fiercely protective over him and very proud of how he has turned out. Dean would do anything to anyone for the sake of Sam.”
“So those sons of bitches better watch out then,” Gabriel muttered under his breath and turning said louder to Castiel, “So did you or Dean have any idea this was going on, I mean you did have a tough time at school yourself, you know the signs.”
“Neither of us knew. If he had come to me I would have advised him to tell Dean and helped him to stop them, he must have been too scared to tell anyone. I wish we had noticed but as a classic bullying victim he hid it too well.”
“You were Cas, when Dad found out you said you thought it would make it worse if he tried to help.”
The conversation stopped abruptly when a nurse came in. After telling them they were lucky Gabriel had stopped them when he did, apart from mild concussion, cuts and bruises Sam’s main problem was shock as opposed to what would have happened if he had been left to the bullies, she reassured them Sam was waking up and visitors would do him good.
Sam panicked temporarily as he woke up in unfamiliar surroundings. He took in the white walls and machines linking the wires to his arms and chest and realized where he was. With the realization came the memories and Sam smiled at the thought of the handsome stranger who had saved him but winced when he remembered who he had introduced himself to be and what they must all think of him now they knew. He fiercely brushed away the tears that were threatening to fall and forced his aching body to turn in the bed so he was facing away from the door. When the door opened a few minutes later he tried to pretend he was asleep. “S-Sammy?” He heard Dean call out tentatively 'I know you’re awake Sam, just, please Sam.' When Sam didn’t respond he heard Dean croak 'Sammy, talk to me, please,' Sam turned around and heard Dean gasp at his tear streaked face and said the only thing he could think of ,“Jerk”
He felt a palpable sense of relief when he heard the familiar retort,
“Bitch.”
He felt, rather than heard, Dean slide onto the end of the bed and grab hold of his hand. He kept his eyes lowered away from Dean’s face, not wanting to meet Dean’s eyes, scared of the disappointment he knew he would see there.
“Sammy, I need - can I - why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean blurted out.
“No chick flick moments remember?” Sam retorted, trying to avoid answering the question, he dared a look at Dean and saw hurt flash across his face.
“Please Sammy, talk to me.”
Sam took a deep breath; he couldn’t disappoint his brother a second time, “because, because you would have tried to help and that would have made it worse, and I guess, I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Hesitantly at first, the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. He turned away from Dean, ashamed of having admitted his feelings. Winchesters didn’t do that.
“Why would I be disappointed in you Sam?”
Sam sighed softly, he had started now he might as well finish,
“Because you’re brave and strong and nobody gets away with picking on you. I was weak, I couldn’t deal with it. I-I was,” he remembered the words he had been told earlier “inferior to you.”
“Just tell me this Sam, how long? How long has it been going on?”
“Nearly a year”
“Well I’m guessing from the lack of visible bruising, until today you’ve been fending them off pretty good. You didn’t let them walk all over you and that makes me proud Sam. I could never be disappointed in you; you’re my little sasquatch brother!”
Sam didn’t agree but he didn’t reply, he didn’t want a fight, he was tired. Dean must have noticed because he stood up and said, “you should get some rest, I’ll see you later.”
“Dean, can, can you ask Cas to tell Gabriel thank you, for helping me.”
“Tell him yourself, he’s not left me and Cas since he handed you over to me, it was only by physical restraint from Cas he’s not in here at the moment.”
“Can you send him in Dean? I just want to thank him; I’ll sleep better if I do.” Sam didn’t mention the fact he was worried about what trouble Gabriel could be in.
“Okay but then you need to get some rest okay; your eyes are drooping like a puppy Sam!”
“Promise Dean.”
When Gabriel came in Sam looked at him from his hospital bed with worry clouding his wide eyes.
“What’s up kiddo?”
“You saved me.”
“Well yeah, I wasn’t gonna just let them keep attacking you now was I?”
“I guess, but Gabriel, couldn’t you get into trouble, I mean you did attack Alistair.”
“Yeah and the son of a bitch deserved it. Look I promise you, compared to what they did to you, they all got off lightly.”
“Gabriel, tell me, what’s going to happen?”
“Do you really think they would report me when I could spill my guts to the police about what I saw them doing to you. That would count as GBH Sam, they landed you in hospital. Besides I’m not quite 18 yet so they couldn’t do much anyway. Get some rest kiddo and I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”
“Yeah, alright.”
“And Sam,”
“Yeah?”
“Quit worrying about me, I’m fine.” Chucking a big bag of candy onto Sam’s bed Gabriel quickly left. Sam was left feeling embarrassed as he contemplated all that had happened to him. This new found (dare he say it?) friend had saved him from a terrible fate and as far as he was concerned was akin to Dean. He couldn’t say why but he somehow knew he would be safe now Gabriel was around. He turned onto his side and curled into his bed drifting into the first good sleep he had in years.
When Sam woke up Dean was sat next to his bedside with a worried expression on his face. Sam knew he was worried about what he was going to do with his weakling little brother now. As Dean was too lost in his thoughts to be aware Sam had woken up yet he pretended to still be asleep so he had time to mull his options over. On the one hand he could stick it out with Dean, try to work through this lack of faith in him Dean had developed. On the other hand he could move out, find somewhere else to stay. Dean had done so much for him over the years Sam knew this was one way he could repay him, by getting out of his life. It would kill him to say goodbye to Dean and his nerdy boyfriend and even this mysterious brother, but if it made Dean’s life easier he would be willing to do it. After all, how much had Dean sacrificed for him over the years, and not just the last of the cereal. With his mind made up Sam opened his eyes to face Dean. Unfortunately Dean chose that moment to have a heart to heart.
“Sammy, I need to say this while I can. I am not ashamed of you. I never have been and I never will be. I’m proud of you, you fought so hard, like I know they got you down and shit but those bastards never took the Sam out of my baby brother. You never gave up. You still faced them and you still fought them. Sammy I just wish I could have helped. I wish I could have stopped this happening to you. What I’m trying to say is, I’m ashamed of me for not spotting it sooner. Look i’ll errm go and get you something to eat” Dean spluttered out not quite managing to hide his beetroot red face from Sam as he left. Sam chuckled to himself. He still didn’t quite believe Dean, but maybe Dean hadn’t given up on their relationship either.
Gabriel did go home that night. Despite the teasing from Dean about hanging around he really did feel a sense of responsibility to the kid. He couldn’t explain why, he didn’t do responsibility after all but Gabriel just kept picturing the curled up figure he had saved. He could already tell, however deeply hidden, inside Sam there was a strong person. He was determined to find it. It wasn’t like he had a better way to spend his time. He may even get some company out of it, after all Sam must be excluded like Gabriel when Dean and Castiel got together.
Grabbing a multipack of lollipops and shoving it in a rucksack Gabriel quickly got together what he referred to as his SOS kit. DVD’s, magazines and anything else he could think of to serve as entertainment or a talking point, Sam may be discharged tomorrow, he was only kept in for observation after all, but Gabriel could guarantee Dean would not let Sam go to school for at least another day or two - he had seen Dean’s protective streak with Castiel and he had no doubt its origins were with Sam. That didn’t mean Gabriel was going to let Dean have the time off school. There was no point in Dean or Castiel missing school when he had already graduated and had nothing to do. He might as well be the one to fill Dean’s required Sammy watching while he was at school.
While he would never admit it to anybody Gabriel was lonely. His days were spent watching television, visiting the candy store or crashing the school property to see his kid brother and his kid brother’s boyfriend. He had no qualms in admitting, to himself at least, that it was a very boring way to live your life. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do anything with his life, he did, it was more that he didn’t know what he wanted to do. At the moment however he wanted to be with Sam. He could figure out his future later.
Glad as ever of his baby, Gabriel shoved his rucksack onto the backseat and slid into the front seat. Heading, this time for the hospital, where his new found friend lay. Feeling more relaxed than he had in months now he felt he had a purpose he slid his Asia cassette into the player and tapped the steering wheel as ‘Heat of the Moment’ came on. Little did he realise this song would later become his and Sam’s.
When he arrived back Dean told him Sam was struggling to sleep, a combination of the damn noisy machines and a bit of traumatisation. Their parents had been bemused by his protective behaviour then, assuming it could only be good for Castiel to have such a strong bond. With the close ages in such a big family him and Castiel had always been close and looked out for each other. It was part of the reason Gabriel respected Dean as he saw in him the same protective nature towards his brother (extended to Castiel when they became a couple) as Gabriel had towards Castiel. Ironically Gabriel was now extending that protective nature towards Sam.
“Hey Dean-o, I’ve got an idea to help Sam sleep if you’re interested?”
“Dude he needs his sleep to recover, anything is a help.”
“Well when Cas had his ‘accident’ at school the only thing that helped him sleep was his headphones.”
“That sounds like a good idea Gabe but where am I supposed to get headphones from?!”
“Chill Dean, I was going to offer to let him use mine.”
“I’m sorry Gabriel, really I just, you know. Why don’t you go and give them to him.”
Gabriel did know as it happened. Dean reminded him of how he had been when those jerks at school had attacked Castiel for his geeky appearance. Their parents had been surprised when a few days later the boys had moved out of town. Gabriel had never loved Balthazar as much as he did when Gabriel had suggested threatening the jerks and Balthazar had taken it upon himself to take some of his more threatening looking friends with him. That was why he walked straight into Sam’s room without bothering Dean further. The fact Dean trusted him enough to let him near his baby brother was enough for Gabriel. He understood that Dean was hoping Gabriel would become a friend to Sam (the recent events making it glaringly obvious that was what Sam needed) and ordinarily would have baulked at the idea but there was something about Sam that drew him in further instead of sending him running for the hills.
Gabriel paused when he saw Sam’s form laid out on the bed facing away from him. Taking a moment to admire the clear cut curves of Sam’s body, from the brown hair flopping onto his shapely shoulders to the muscled arms trapping the sheets before shaking himself (the dude could be scared for life thanks to those bastards) and taking the few steps that led him to Sam’s bedside. “Hey kiddo, heard you couldn’t sleep,”
“bit hard with the machines,” Sam mumbled into the bed sheets,
“well I’ve come to help with that. You see when Cas was in the hospital the only thing that helped him sleep in here was his headphones. I thought maybe you might like to borrow mine?” Gabriel blushed. He really had to stop getting embarrassed around Sam, he was Dean’s brother. He couldn’t stop his brain from telling him how insanely attractive he was as well but he tried to ignore that.
“That would be great Gabe, I just wanna sleep and if they helped Cas then its worth a shot” Gabriel’s heart missed a beat as he heard the nickname fall from Sam’s lips. He beamed and when Sam looked at him bemusedly he grinned even more at the sight of those eyes focused on him.
“What?” Sam laughed. It was so wonderful to hear Sam laugh Gabriel lost his train of thought until he saw Sam staring at him.
“Oh, err, you called me Gabe.”
“Well it just seemed fitting; I mean I feel like I know you already from Dean and Cas and then you did save me. Gabriel just seemed so formal when I feel like we’re already friends.” It was Sam’s turn to get embarrassed now.
“We are friends kiddo” Gabriel silently added that there was maybe something else there too. “Come on, move up and I’ll show you what I have on here.” Gabriel knew it might seem inappropriate but apart from being the best way to show Sam the music he craved to close the distance between him and Sam.
Wordlessly Sam moved up and Gabriel joined him on the bed. When he pulled out the player he found Sam laughing next to him.
“I’m sorry, its just, with Cas being your brother I assumed you didn’t know how to use anything modern either.”
“I am nothing like Cas” Gabriel acted offended but before long the two of them were in peals of laughter at anything and everything. It was an infectious sound and made Gabriel laugh harder. Sam found it very amusing when Gabriel starting talking about how hot the nurses were, and how he was certain one of them had starred in a porno.
When Dean poked his head around the door half an hour later he found Sam sleeping curled into Gabriel, resting his head on Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel was also asleep resting his head close to Sam’s. It was such an endearing sight it didn’t even occur to Dean to be offended that Gabriel was practically a stranger to Sam. Gabriel had always been forward and he was harmless. Dean left them sleeping and closed the door on his way out, he needed a hug and he knew just the person to provide it. Of course as he expected Cas was waiting for him in the waiting room.
“How is Sam?”
“Curled up in bed with your brother.”
“Gabriel really does have a soft side, people don’t see it often. He must have taken a liking to your brother.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me, Sam could charm anyone. Now come here, I need a hug.”
“I am sorry Dean, this must be hard for you.”
“Yes but Gabriel is actually making it easier, I suppose as a big brother himself he totally understands me and how to make it easier for me.”
Castiel proceeded to explain to Dean about his own incident of bullying, and how wonderful Gabriel had been. Before they knew it, it was morning and time to wake Sam and Gabriel so Dean could take Sam home. Gabriel offered to help them both but Dean insisted he took Castiel home and made sure he got some sleep. Stating clearly, “you know what he’s like,” Dean was feeling better, despite having had no sleep after his talk with Castiel. He knew Gabriel would be vital having helped Castiel through his experience, but also that Sam would get over this, as Castiel was proof it could be done.Sam stood at the door to his room. It had only been a night since he had last been here, yet so much had changed. Dean knew! Dean knew and didn't judge him! He had a friend. Albeit a few years older, but someone with morals and who liked him for who he was. After the attack Gabriel had given Alistair and crew Sam doubted they would bother him for a long time. Sam pushed open the door to his new hope filled life and shut the door on his anxiety filled life.
After pausing a moment longer in the foot of the doorway, Sam stepped foot into his room. He looked around until his eyes settled on his bookcase. He had been planning to read a book, but found, for the moment, no enthusiasm; instead he rummaged in a drawer until he found a notepad with space left in it. He then sat on his bed and started planning operation Gabriel. The object was, quite simply to get to know Gabriel better. Find a way to thank him for saving him, become friends. However there were a few challenges to overcome. Who would want to spend time with a nerd like him? Well Gabriel apparently judging by the time he had been spending with Sam and the impromptu ‘sleepover’ last night. So, step 1, make himself more appealing. Of course another obstacle was Dean’s protectiveness. Sam knew he meant well but it was highly frustrating at times, like how he wouldn’t let him go back to school. Maybe he could use that to his advantage though. Step 2, get Dean out of the way. He obviously had to gain Gabriel’s interest. From what Sam had seen, apart from his family Gabriel’s true loves were porn and candy. Step 3, attract Gabriel - porn marathon with candy snacks? However on second thoughts, given they hardly knew each other films might be better than porn. He altered his notes and took stock of what he had written.
It would do for now. He didn’t want to over think it or it might become obvious what he was doing. That would be a repellent to Gabriel straight away. He flopped on his bed and picked up his book; reading for 5 minutes before heading downstairs to Dean, to put phase one of his plan into action. However all his plans went completely out his head when he saw a single word written on a piece of paper lying underneath the letterbox. Fag. He was in deep trouble. Hearing Dean opening a door he shoved the paper into his pocket on impulse. He didn’t know why as Dean knew about the bullying now but he didn’t want him to see it.
“Dude, why you standing by the door? You’re like a lost puppy,” Dean called to him.
“No reason, just, thought I heard the mail.”
“Okay” Dean accepted without hesitation, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Do you want to go to the Roadhouse?”
“Sounds good. Let me just, erm, grab a jacket.”
When he got upstairs to his room Sam hid the note under his mattress and grabbed a jacket, he glanced around the room as he was leaving to make sure it was not peeking out and met Dean downstairs. They both froze when Dean turned back to lock the door. Spray painted across the front door was the word nerd.
Sam was staring at the ceiling in his room when Cas arrived. They never had made it to the diner. Sam had hidden in his room and Dean had gone about trying to clean it up. It wasn’t so much that Sam was scared, or even embarrassed but that he was upset it was continuing and had escalated to such a level. He wasn’t stupid, he knew however little, or much he thought of himself he didn’t deserve the bullying. Smiling at the realisation he no longer felt the need to hide from Dean he was about to head downstairs to join him when he heard raised voices. Fortunately they didn’t last long and Sam headed downstairs 5 minutes later. He was met by the anxious face of Cas and the reluctant face of Dean.
“Sammy, me and Cas were talking and we thought, maybe you would like, maybe it would be best if you stayed with him for a while, just till this blows over. If you’re out of the way it is likely to die down quicker.”
Sam took a moment to let it sink in. His overprotective big brother was essentially sending him to stay somewhere else. Sam knew if Dean would entrust him to anyone it would be Cas, but for him to actually do it must mean he was worried. The prospect of a break from the place the bullies knew he lived was appealing, not to mention Castiel’s big brother.
“I guess, I mean obviously I would rather be here but it does kinda make sense.”
As Dean was taking Sam to where Cas and Gabriel were waiting for him in the car Sam noticed egg shell outside the house and decided that this was becoming more acceptable all the time.
The first Gabriel knew about Sam moving in was when Castiel casually asked him for a ride to pick Sam up the next morning. When put under extreme interrogation (which no doubt Castiel intended judging by the sly smile on his lips) Gabriel was told simply, it’s a nice surprise for you dear brother, which, while only serving to make him more eager to know, yielded nothing. Which is how Gabriel came to be like an excited puppy sitting in his car, asking Castiel every minute when Sam would be here.
'Calm down Gabe! He will be here soon. Nobody would believe you only met him a few days ago!'
Castiel laughed. Gabriel pulled a face worthy of Sam's bitchface title before contorting into an almost impossible position to peer out the window, when he saw Sam leaving the apartment with Dean by his side however, if he had a tail you would have been able to hear it thumping the seat with his excitement. He bounded out the car and went to help Sam with his bags.
“Woah, kiddo, what you got in here, an elephant?” Gabriel teased, miming his arms dropping to the ground.
Sam laughed “just essentials really, clothes and stuff, but i have got a few textbooks in there so i don’t fall behind.”
“Yeah he’s got me carrying his laptop” Dean grinned. Gabriel knew he didn’t mind really, Dean would do anything for his little brother. Besides, he was more interested in what Sam had said. Clothes, textbooks ‘essentials’ and he was carrying his suitcase. That could only mean he was moving in! He glared at Castiel for not telling him but couldn’t keep the grin off his face for long enough for it to do more than make Castiel laugh.
“Come on kiddo, let’s get you moved in” Gabriel spoke when he could keep the overwhelming excitement out of his voice. “Want to come for a coffee, help him settle in for a bit Dean-O, not that you need an invite of course, anybody would think you lived there the amount you’re over. Now you have Sam to look out for.” Gabriel rambled. So much for keeping the excitement hidden. He silently cursed himself, but tried harder to keep himself in check. He didn’t want to scare Sam away after all.
After they all loaded into the car - Sam riding shotgun, Gabriel asked everyone if they wanted a lollipop. Only Sam accepted, a fact that made Gabriel smile. While they were all talking about the uncharictaristically hot weather and such Gabriel let his mind wander to thoughts of him, Sam and an empty house. This was going really well for him and the others who didn’t notice Gabriel wasn’t listening. Unfortunately five minutes away from home Gabriel was brought to his senses by hearing the other occupants of the car screaming at him. When he looked down at his speedo he found he was doing way over the speed limit and was swerving all over the road. He slammed on his brakes till he found a more acceptable speed and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He hadn’t even swerved like that before he passed his test, let alone speeding, sure he liked a bit of speed but not at the risk of a ticket. He was shaken but managed to stammer out an apology. The rest of the journey was fairly quiet. Everyone could see Gabriel was shaken up by his erratic driving and it had shaken everyone else up too. Gabriel felt ashamed when he saw the other occupants had gone every range of color from white to green. As a result as soon as he had pulled into a parking space and muttered out an apology to the others he had headed straight to the living room to hide and mull things over. Sam went upstairs to settle in and the others went to help him.
Gabriel was lying in his usual position on the couch by the TV, bag of mike and ikes in one hand, remote in the other. Dr Sexy MD, Gabriel’s favorite of all awful daytime t.v. was on, but Gabriel wasn’t really paying attention, he was listening to Sam moving around upstairs, especially when he heard the familiar creak of the top step and Sam’s tentative footsteps.
When Sam entered the room however he laughed. Gabriel looked 5 parts embarrassed and 1 part offended, but smiled when Sam had the good grace to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry” he stammered.
“Sam I don’t care, I just want to know what was so funny.”
“It’s just, well Dean watches that show all the time and thinks I don’t notice, and then you’re here watching it so blatently”
To Sam’s obvious relief Gabriel laughed too. When Gabriel saw Sam smile he decided that was all he ever wanted, was to see that smile every day and to know he was the one who put it there.
“Ahh but does he have the box-set?”
“Does anyone?” Sam retorted before looking embarrassed.
“True, I certainly don’t! So anyway, what do you fancy doing tonight kiddo? I see Castiel has gone back to yours so it’s just the 2 of us. I can do popcorn a la Gabriel and a film, crappy tv or the best salad you have ever tasted in your life, with great conversation provided by yours truly”
“You would do that for me? Sam said, only half joking, disbelieving Gabriel would want to spend the afternoon with him.
“Dude, do you really want me to talk to myself?”
“First sign of madness” Sam quipped, blushing. Gabriel smiled encouraging; reassuring Sam he wasn’t going to take offence or beat him senseless over a joke.
“But was I ever sane Sammy boy?” he retorted, causing Sam to smile in spite of himself, allowing himself to relax just slightly. Gabriel smiled, took this as a positive sign and continued. “I mean, nobody in their right mind chooses to watch Dr Sexy, right?”
Sam just smiled in response.
“So anyway, are those options so repulsive to you that it’s so hard to choose?” Gabriel laughed
“Well, is it okay if,”
“Let me stop you there kiddo, anything goes here, no is it okay, everything is okay. You could run around naked declaring your undying love for George Bush and it would be okay. I may even join you, so go on, what do you want to do? We can even paint each other’s nails if you like?”
This had the desired response as Sam giggled and opened his mouth to speak “Can we.” At a warning look from Gabriel he started again. “I want to watch t.v. with popcorn” he blurted, looking immensely relieved when Gabriel appeared to consider this and nodded thoughtfully.
“Good choice Sammy, very good choice. Nothing better to bond over than crappy t.v. and amazing popcorn. Have a look what you fancy and I’ll go make the popcorn. After a few hours of leisurely company and crappy t.v. Sam left to return a book to the library before it shut, which made sense to Gabriel as it was due back today, with the unexpected hospital visit he guessed Sam hadn’t had time to return it earlier. He had offered Sam a lift but Sam had said he wanted to stretch his legs. He was a strange kid, into salad and exercise, the exact opposite of Gabriel, but they could work with that. He was only gone about half an hour when Gabriel heard him open the front door and subsequently forced himself to relax on the sofa so that when Gabriel heard Sam enter the living room he was curled up on the couch, a picture of contentedness - which of course he was now Sam was here, although he could practically hear Sam worrying at his bottom lip, not to mention he could feel Sam's eyes boring into him. 'Take a seat kiddo, make yourself at home - candy's in the kitchen.' Sam laughed at this 'Gabriel, not everyone's staple diet is candy' Gabriel feigned innocence as he replied 'seriously, but how can they function then?' With a megabag of chocolate coated toffee popcorn, supplemented with starburst packets between them (of which Gabriel ate the lions share, he may have got more response with a salad) a couch each to sprawl on and back to back episodes of the nutcracker they both had a wonderful night. Gabriel relished the company, someone to swap jokes with and someone to share his amusement, although Sam did wince quite a bit at the show. A very articulate, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous someone being the someone made it all the better. As Sam was heading towards the door to go to bed however he caught his foot on a leg of the coffee table the drinks and snacks were resting on. Them, and more importantly Sam went flying as Gabriel looked on with horror. As soon as he was off the sofa he was by Sam's side and was upset to see tears rolling down Sam's face 'Sam, where are you hurt?' Gabriel panicked. 'm' not jus' little bruised 's all.' then Gabriel realized. 'Show me' he breathed, far from wanting to see them, Gabriel wished they had never even been there but he felt Sam needed to do this and he needed to make sure it really was just bruising. Wordlessly Sam lifted his shirt up to reveal a multicolored chest. Red cuts, purple green and yellow bruising and patches of unharmed skin. Gabriel understood why it had hurt to land on that. He couldn't see any obvious injuries from Sam's fall and felt Sam had been subjected to enough embarrassment for at least as long as there were no signs of injury. Far from subsiding however Sam's sobs were becoming uncontrollable. Without even thinking Gabriel opened his arms and held Sam. When the sobs finally did start to subside Gabriel spoke. 'What is it, tell me' Sam took a minuet long composing himself before sitting up and replying, fiddling with his shirt cuffs he spoke. 'it’s just, I've had such a wonderful night and i know it’s just because you feel sorry for me because it’s not going to be my personality or my company but it’s been the first time I've enjoyed myself completely in such a long time and i had to go and ruin it by being clumsy.'
Gabriel sighed gently, not upset with Sam but at the bullies who had done this too him. “Look Sam, first off it was an accident, the coffee table was in the way, no big deal, you didn’t ruin anything. Secondly i know it’s hard to see right now but you’re actually good company. You’re smart, brave and loads more. I know school is tough but people are scared to get to know you better because of those jerks. Think of Dean, do you really think he would put all that effort into looking after you if you weren’t worth it? Cas, do you think he would have invited you to move it? And me. I - I - I really like you Sam.” Gabriel sighed, frustrated at his uncharacteristic inability to say how he really felt. Sam didn’t seem to care however. He murmured thanks before snuggling closer into Gabriel’s embrace, his words obviously having done the trick. Within minutes he was asleep in what Gabriel suspected was the most comfortable nights sleep Sam had had in months. Gabriel let himself succumb to sleep too, right there on the hard floor, yet it seemed like the only place to be, because of the friend in his arms.
When Gabriel woke up to the third morning of Sam’s indefinite stay he found he was smiling. He couldn’t think why but he didn’t care why either. He decided he didn’t smile enough and made an impulsive decision to smile more often. He decided he would go downstairs and surprise Sam with breakfast in bed as he felt in the mood to whip up a sumptuous culinary treat, or pancakes. His plan was slightly thwarted however when he heard Sam moving around upstairs, he went to the bottom of the stairs to head Sam off back to bed when he saw Sam at the top. He started walking up the stairs and opened his mouth to say something when he saw Sam miss his footing a few stairs from the top.
Gabriel caught Sam as he tripped and consequently felt every inch of Sam as it pressed against him as they fell together to the floor Gabriel cushioning the blow for Sam, despite the height difference. As it had only been a few steps up for Gabriel and Sam’s fall had been cushioned by Gabriel (not to mention his bruises were healing) neither of them were hurt and just lay there, Sam on top of Gabriel in stunned silence for a minute, a fact, if Gabriel had had his awareness present he would have been delighted with, Sam feeling so comfortable with him, soon however, the desire to press in closer was immense and it took all his willpower to resist. Sam however obviously felt the same way as Gabriel saw the apprehension in Sam’s eyes as he lifted those strong arms to cup Gabriel’s cheek. Slowly, giving Gabriel all the time in the world to pull away he pressed his mouth towards Gabriel’s. Far from resisting Gabriel pushed into the kiss, tasting Sam for the hopefully first of many times. Sam’s confidence was obviously encouraged by this as Gabriel felt him asking for entrance which Gabriel gladly gave. Tentative at first as the seconds passed they enthusiastically explored the others mouth. It was the most amazing feeling and as they both came up for air the sight of Sam’s swollen red lips made Gabriel press in for more. 'Go out with me Gabe?' Sam panted as they next drew air, Gabriel responded by pulling Sam closer towards him embracing him. This was by far the best request he had ever had and he might just be falling for the kid who had asked him. Obviously his answer was yes and he felt a rush of delight at the trust Sam had developed for him, especially when he saw the relief and happiness emanating from Sam. Scrap the might be, he was falling for Sam and he didn’t care one little bit. Together they fell to the couch and explored each other. Nothing sexual, apart from being far too early in their relationship Sam was still far too delicate mentally for that and Gabriel wasn’t sure, for all his love of porn and Sam, that he was ready to go to that level yet anyway. Neither of them minded though and were both content with the new step in their relationship. “Thanks Gabe.” Sam murmured softly.
“For what?” Gabriel asked, genuinely confused.
“For saving me. My guardian angel.” Sam replied and by the time Gabriel had forced his emotions down enough to respond Sam was asleep.
As they lay curled up together on the couch Gabriel realised that for all Sam had only been here for a few days, even whilst he was alone he had not felt lonely. He had a feeling he would never feel the same gnawing loneliness now Sam was in his life. They both needed each other to remove deep set pain and they both were the perfect salves to each other. Things were not perfect. Sam’s self confidence was still very fragile, Gabriel would still feel lonely when Sam went back to school, but with their new relationship and the support of their brothers, they would work it out. Things would be fantastic Gabriel thought as he let his arm drop around the sleeping figure of Sam. Things were going to be just fine. He didn’t have to confront his loneliness after all. Sam had saved him from that.
Author:
isolus_gurl
Artist:
this_impulse
Tier/wordcount: 10,762 (1st tier)
Genre: Slash
Pairings: Sam/Gabriel and background established Dean/Castiel
Ratings: PG-13
Warnings: May be traumatic to victims of bullying
Summery: Sam is having problems at school and doesn’t trust anyone to tell them. When Gabriel shows up in his life however things may just be about to change for the better, especially as Gabriel seems to be having problems of his own. Can they help each other?
A/N: huge love and thanks to my beta and personal friend,
actually_tragic for so much support, patience and general encoragement. thanks for putting up with my Britishness and hopelessness at grammar!!! thanks also to my artist this_impulse for making me such amazing art despite having computer problems!!!
This was not meant to be split but it was the only way LJ would let me post it.
Art Masterpost: http://this-impulse.livejournal.com/6577.html
Fic:
Gabriel winced, a cold sweat pouring over him. Before he could register what was happening, a face was looming over him, laughing.
“Castiel is dead, Anna is dead, Balthazar is dead. Your family are dead. You have nobody.”
Gabriel screamed even though for some reason, he knew it wasn’t true. He turned to one side and saw Castiel, complete with trench coat, covered in blood laughing.
“You’re on your own Gabriel” with another horrified scream he turned around again to find Anna staring at him, silently shaking her head.
“How could I ever have loved you Gabriel? You are not my brother.” With a final scream Gabriel awoke, clutching desperately at the sheets. Roughly wiping the tears from his eyes he sat up. He knew it was only a dream. It wasn’t the dream that bothered him. Everyone had nightmares sometime. It was the thought he couldn’t quite shift that the dream was right. That he was indeed alone. Shoving the thought aside for the moment (he couldn’t keep it at bay forever) he rose to his feet and gently plodded downstairs for a sweet mug of coffee to both wake him up and distract him. He wasn’t alone, not really. He had Castiel and Anna and Balthazar and Luci and Michael. He even had Dean to a certain extent. However much he teased Castiel otherwise, he did consider Dean as family. He tried to ignore the fact they all had someone else. Even Castiel. Thinking of Castiel he decided to wake him up with a cup of coffee, spend some time with him for a few hours before Cas had to go to school. It was about the only time he did get to see him. Sighing at his unsuccessful attempt to rid his mind of the thought he turned and flicked the switch on the coffee machine.
On the other side of town, Sam thumped the snooze button on his alarm as it squealed at him. Another day at school was not what he needed right now. He knew he had to go, had to keep learning, so he could go to college and get him and Dean out of this tiny rundown apartment they had called home since after the fire when Sam was a baby.
His mom had died that evening, the smoke alarm had failed and it had been too late to save her from the flames consuming the house. His Dad had tried to fight through the flames after handing Sam to Dean with explicit instructions to get Sam out of there so they would be safe. His Dad had rarely gotten over the loss of their mother and had thrown himself wholeheartedly into his work and so was rarely home, leaving Dean with almost sole responsibility of Sam. Sometimes Sam wished Dean hadn’t saved him that night.
The alarm waking him from his thoughts Sam got up, wincing at his bruises, he knew he had better get ready though or Dean would suspect something and that would only make things worse. The last thing he needed was Dean cottoning onto his troubles. Opening his wardrobe he selected the least shabby of Dean’s hand-me-downs and headed out of his room to grab some breakfast before he caught the bus and faced his tormenters for yet another day of living hell.
He was still musing over his situation when Castiel let himself in with the key Dean had given him. Since Cas and Dean had started dating a few months ago Cas had grown into a second brother to Sam, someone he could always turn to and ask for help. Sam had even considered telling Cas about his situation, Cas had suffered a similar fate at high school so might have some helpful advice, but Sam couldn’t risk him telling Dean. If Dean knew he would try to help, but ultimately make things worse. Sam may not know much about how to help himself but he knew that telling someone was the worst thing someone being bullied could do. Besides, what would Dean think of him; Smart, strong, popular Dean, lumbered with his weakling, helpless little brother.
“Hi Sam, are you okay?”
“Hey Cas, I’m fine thanks, just stuck in thought, you?”
“I’m good as you might expect thank you Sam. May I enquire what you were thinking about?”
“Oh just school, nothing important. Dean’s in his room, you can go through if you want.”
“You are not having problems I hope?”
“Me? Nah.”
“Very well then. I will go and check on Dean.”
Sam chuckled to himself as Castiel walked towards Dean’s room, his trench coat flowing behind him. He had always been overly formal, even with Dean who Sam knew was one of the few privileged people Cas let himself relax around.
After eating his toast Sam called out to Dean and Castiel to let them know he was going and headed for the bus stop. They would come later in the Impala as they had a spare first thing. Sam was not looking forward to today as was becoming the norm. He tried humming his favourite song of the moment Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas. Though rock was normally Dean’s forte, the lyrics seemed to calm him down so he often found himself humming it to himself. He made a mental note to himself to check out more of Dean’s collection just in case having a better knowledge of pop culture would help him fit in.
As he rounded the corner to the bus stop his heart sank as he saw Alistair and Zachariah waiting for him. Every day he hoped they would be ill and would have to stay home but everyday he found them lying in wait for him. Today was no different.
He felt Alistair grab him from behind and fleetingly wondered how he had managed to get behind him but shoved the thought aside when he saw Zachariah’s face looming in front of his.
“Are you gonna be good today?” Zachariah sneered spitting over his face in the process.
“Fuck off Zachariah” Sam retorted. Words were all he had to defend himself as, apart from the usual problem of being outnumbered by the bastards, Alistair had his arms behind his back.
“I guess we will have to take the persuasion up a notch again then. Don’t you agree Alistair”
“You had your chance Sam” and without further commotion Sam’s face was shoved hard into the mailbox. He felt the blood trickling down from his lip as he was manhandled to the ground. He put up a fight - he wasn’t about to let them walk all over him - but he didn’t hold out much hope.
Within five minutes Zachariah and Alistair were sat on a struggling Sam, joking about keeping him out of trouble this way and waiting for the bus.
Sam’s mind flashed back to the first time Alistair had picked him as prey.
“You’re in my way nerd,” Sam had ignored the dig and moved out of the way. What he had thought was politeness paved the way to a year of hell. Alistair had then seen him as an easy target. Sam had ignored the taunting; it didn’t bother him all that much anyway. He didn’t really care what people thought of him. The first time it got physical it had just been a shove. Sam ignored that too assuming if he showed no reaction they would move on to other prey. That’s what all the advice tells you to do. It hadn’t even been that noticeable anyway. He drew the line when Alistair punched him and he punched back. Things started escalating pretty fast after that. Alistair got his other cronies involved, Sam had suffered more and more vicious beatings. Over time he gave up fighting back, 3 against 1 never ended well… the longer it went on the harder it was to deal with, the worse it got the harder it was to hide. Sam began to dread every day. The constant verbal abuse began to affect his belief in himself. Life was becoming a constant drag.
Gabriel decided as he popped a toffee into his mouth that you know your life sucks when you’re sat at home watching daytime television. Forcing himself to sit up he decided a trip to the local candy store would be better than lounging around on the couch. He might even take a detour and go to the school to visit his little brother on the way, harass more than visit but minor details didn’t matter. Not to him anyway. If he remembered rightly Cas had a spare first so if he went to stock up on his sweets before going the school then he would arrive at just about the right time for second period to finish. Gabriel didn’t actually want to go into any lessons with him, just crash his break time.
Grabbing a lollipop before he left (candy was his guilty pleasure, all right) Gabriel took satisfaction in turning off whatever trash was currently on the TV and strolling out the door. He sometimes wished his brother could be as carefree as he felt and acted for all he knew and cared. Gabriel had never cared what people thought about him. The only people that mattered (his sister Anna, away at college, his brother Castiel and now Cas’s boyfriend Dean) liked him well enough for them all to get along happily and for him to not feel the need to care what others thought of him.
Stroking his baby as she purred into life, Gabriel slid into first gear, released the handbrake and relished the feel of his thunderbird as she slid off the drive.
Gabriel loved a candy shop; the smell of all the sweets, the warmth seeping into his bones, the brightness of the decor that reminds him of a rainbow, but most of all the choice. Gabriel could get all his favourite types of candy here and more. Before going to pay for his basket load of candy he even remembered to pick up a chocolate bar each for Dean and Cas. He was still congratulating himself on what a good brother he was when he climbed into his car.
Happily sucking on his new lollipop Gabriel thought nothing of the tall boy with floppy brown hair crouching behind the school wall as he drove into the parking lot to meet two out of the three most important people in his life. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. He never had anything better to do. Anna, Cas and Dean were all his life consisted of. If he could ever find a job he might actually have other important things in his life too.
As soon as he had parked he leapt out and made his way towards the secluded wooded area he knew Dean and Cas liked to spend their free time.
“Hey kids, I come bearing candy.”
“Oh Gabriel I didn’t know you cared,” Dean shot back whilst rolling his eyes at Cas.
“Yeah, yeah sure you didn’t. I’m only letting you make out with my little brother after all”
“Gabe, me and Dean aren’t making out as you so crudely put it and I think I grew out of being your little brother a number of years ago.” Castiel retorted.
“You’ll always be my little bro kiddo” Gabriel said, going serious for a minute before flinging their respective chocolate bars at the present company. “Don’t make too much mess now”
Dean shot a glance at Cas that Gabriel was sure roughly translated as ‘Gabriel is encroaching on our time’ but didn’t really care.
“So what exactly brings you down here Gabe? You graduated last year”
“Yeah and? technically we aren’t on school property and I have no intention of setting foot in that shack again, just using their parking lot so I can pay my little brother and his boyfriend a visit.”
“There is nothing on the TV then?”
“Three hundred channels and nothing’s on,” shrugged Gabriel.
“Now it becomes clear.”
“Look Gabriel do you really not have anything better to do?” Dean butted in.
“Well, when you put it that way...why do you think I’m here? Of course I don’t!”
“Well okay then I have something you can do.”
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna like this?”
“Because you probably won’t. I need you to keep an eye on Sam for me?” Dean said with pleading in his voice.
“What, your kid brother? I’ve never set eyes on him before and besides, I am not a babysitter.”
“Yeah well, you were the one who said you were bored. Here’s a photo of him an-”
“Dude, you carry a picture of your brother in your wallet?” Gabriel interrupted.
“Well, errm, he’s my only brother anyway I’m worried about him Gabriel, he’s not been himself lately, won’t spend any time with me anymore and nothing has changed at home...you know I can’t follow him at school, even if he would let me.” the latter Dean muttered under his breath.
“Okay...say for a minute I agree to this, what’s in it for me?”
“Gabriel,” Castiel joined in, a warning tone in his voice.
“Fine, lets have a closer look at that picture.” Gabriel snatched the picture from Dean’s outstretched hand and gasped when he saw the most attractive boy he had ever seen. “Okay then, I guess so.”
As Gabriel left Castiel turned around to Dean.
“There is nothing wrong with Sam, is there?” Castiel accused.
“Well, he is acting strangely, but it’s probably just a lot of work or something.” Dean replied sheepishly “What” he announced at the look on Castiel’s face “he was getting in the way.”
“And Sam?”
“Could probably use a new friend anyway, he’s always such a nerd with his head in his books.”
“You are very cunning, you know that?”
“That’s why you love me” Dean replied before capturing Cas’ lips with his own.
Sam slunk miserably out of the school. His day had been pretty bad and he was as certain as he could be it was only going to get worse. It had been so bad he had contemplated telling Dean or even Castiel, somebody to get it to stop. He might have done as well, he always confided everything in Dean but Dean was busy with Cas and besides, if he told Dean, he had bigger things to worry about than his weak baby brother. Sam so desperately didn’t want him to be disappointed in his little brother who it turned out couldn’t even stand up to some silly bullies. Sam never wanted to be a disappointment to Dean, ever. Dean was the only good thing in his life right now and he didn’t want to spoil that by telling him everything. Sam was even disappointed in himself. He didn’t have the guts to stand up for himself. Dean was brave and strong and never, ever let anybody get the better of him. Dean was a thousand times better than Sam would ever be.
Sam kept his head low as he heard familiar voices. Hoping they wouldn’t find him, Sam tried to convince himself that this would be the day he stood up to them, this would be the day he got rid of his demons.
“Hey nerd!” Sam sighed. It was too late. They had seen him.
“Talk to your superiors faggot” Sam stayed silent. He may not have the courage to stand up to these douchebags (he smiled to himself, taking comfort in Dean’s favourite insult) but he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of playing their game.
“Hey, what are you smiling at waif, shall I give you something to smile about” Zachaiah joined in the taunting. A physical kick in the stomach from Alistair had him wondering if it wouldn’t be easier to go along with them, not to mention less painful. Another kick and he fell to his knees in pain. It might not have been so bad if it weren’t for the other bruises he had sustained from them over the last few days.
“That’s right, that’s where abandoned children like you belong, on their knees at the feet of their superiors” Uriel joined in. While not strictly part of the group that bullied him, Uriel liked to get in on the action when he could.
“What do you say to your superiors?” Alistair crowed
Sam remained silent for 5 more minutes worth of beatings before he gave in and resigned himself to the last level of their torment.
“Sorry” he panted between the rolling waves of pain in his belly.
“Sorry what?”
“Sorry Alistair” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he had said the wrong thing. A hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked it back forcing his head with it for Sam to find himself inches away from Alistair’s face
“You are not worthy to call me by my name. Got it?”
“Err, yes” Sam didn’t want to ask what he was supposed to say fearing retribution. Sam had fought this torment for too long. His initial stance of resisting, had been weakening for a few months now, after a long year of gradually escalating bullying from these people his resolve not to let them get to him was weakening. As Alistair yanked on his hair again Sam felt his last ounce of resolve leave him. He felt himself giving into them. He would give them what they wanted. Whatever that was.
Gabriel hung around the school for the rest of the day, half hoping for a glimpse of Sam to satisfy Dean (he wasn’t stupid he knew Dean had been trying to get him out the way) but also to annoy his favourite couple. As the bell went he took a slow walk through the school grounds, for old times sake he tried to tell himself, he absolutely had no problem getting the image of that totally gorgeous brother of Dean’s out of his head. He didn’t see any sign of Dean’s brother and soon got tired of walking around so he went back to his car, with the vague hope someone would be in tonight.
When he did get home he went straight upstairs to check his email and could hear Castiel chatting to Anna in the kitchen as he was sat on his bed checking his emails on his mac. If it wasn’t so tragic it would be amusing that even the junk mail companies didn’t seem to want to email him. He lay back and enjoyed the rare sound of talking and happiness and people in the house, trying hard to ignore the ever growing sense of isolation. He closed his eyes and revelled in the other wonderful things happening. Cas was happy. Cas had found somewhere he belonged. For as long as he remembered Gabriel had been worried about Cas, he was different. Unashamedly wonderfully different, something the world as a whole generally didn’t like. Now Cas had Dean though who loved him for who he was. This was absolutely wonderful and Gabriel was so happy for Cas but he couldn’t help feeling a bit redundant. Not through anything Cas and Dean were doing but through pure loneliness. He had nobody. All his many brothers and sisters had found somebody. Even Lucifer and Michael had some sort of weird relationship going on. Gabriel just needed a friend, a partner, someone to keep him company, to care for him. Everyone was, quite rightly, busy with everyone else. However this had left Gabriel forgotten and try as Castiel might to keep Gabriel company Gabriel was no third wheel. Deciding to enjoy the company itself and not just the noise of it, he went downstairs and was met by an armful of flying auburn hair. “Hey Anna.”
“I’m so proud of you Gabriel, Cas told me what you’re doing, agreeing to look after Dean’s brother like that.” Gabriel glanced at Castiel, leaning casually against the counter, smiling at him in a way that was very unlike him. Gabriel knew what he was doing, sacrificing a night with their rarely seen sister for him. As much as he appreciated it, he wanted to enjoy the company of both of them.
“So Cas didn’t tell you his part in it then?”
The next morning he was walking up the driveway leading into the school when Gabriel caught sight of the brown haired boy from yesterday being beaten and felt the rage pumping through his veins. He realised the boy had not been playing around, rather hiding behind the wall. His hands balled into fists and he was halfway towards the boy’s attackers before he got a glimpse of the boys face and realised it was Sam. Dean’s Sam. Anybody important to Dean after how he had helped Cas, was by default important to him. Less than a minute later he literally saw red as the nose he had punched on what looked like the ringleader of the gang spurted blood. Gabriel kicked him whilst shouting obscenities at him and keeping an eye on Sam’s other attackers who backed off pretty quickly.
When he turned to face Sam he saw the boy had curled himself into a foetal position and was quite obviously terrified. Gabriel crouched down to him taking in the bruises where Sam’s shirt had ridden up, the cuts and marks that would turn into bruises, the split lip but most painfully the scared, broken look in his eyes as he shied away from Gabriel, obviously convinced he was the next victim after his attackers.
“Hey kiddo, I’m Castiel’s brother, Gabriel,” he hoped the mention of Castiel would show he could be trusted, “I’m not gonna hurt you I promise. I’m gonna get you to Dean so he can look after you.”
Sam slurred out something that sounded vaguely like Dean. His body was shutting down and going into shock now he knew he was safe and would be taken care of. Gabriel couldn’t figure out how Sam had managed to keep this from Dean for so long -unless and his stomach clenched at the thought - the level had been escalating for a while now. He had heard of cases like this, where the bullies would leave the victim for dead (although Gabriel hoped even if he hadn’t been here they wouldn’t have gone that far) it almost certainly meant Sam had been suffering for a while now.
Gabriel grabbed his cell and hit speed dial “Cas tell Dean to bring his car to the school gates NOW,” he barked before hanging up and scooping the larger boy into his arms almost effortlessly. He had always been strong and had never been more glad of it than now as he could carry Sam towards Dean without much of an effort. He hadn’t got far before he saw Dean, closely followed by Cas running towards him.
“Gabe! what the hell happened?” Dean called out in a blind panic.
“I think he’s okay, from what I can tell it’s mainly shock he’s suffering from.” Gabriel could see the worry in Castiel’s eyes as well and saw for the first time what a huge effect this kid had on the people around him. He had no intention of hiding what had happened to Sam from either of them, he just felt Sam should have the opportunity to tell them himself, or that at least he should try to break it to them gently, not while they were so worried about Sam. When Dean was opposite, Gabriel handed Sam over and saw Sam relax into his brothers arms.
“Shit. How could anybody hurt him like this? What do I do Cas?”
“Dean, I think we should take him to the hospital, just to be safe. After all, we do not know what we are dealing with here and he may have internal injuries” Cas spoke, ever the voice of reason.
That was how Gabriel and Castiel ended up sat in the ER four hours later with Gabriel wondering how he could be so worried about somebody he had only just met. The doctors had assured them that Sam seemed fine but they just wanted to keep him in for observation as they suspected he may have concussion. It appeared Sam had hit his head as he had been knocked to the floor, yet it wasn’t physical injuries Gabriel was worried about, rather the broken look he had seen in the boy’s eyes. Those sick bullies had quite obviously destroyed Sam’s confidence and Gabriel knew then he was in this for the long run. He was not going to abandon Sam, not when he was the one to find him, not when he felt so strongly for the boy already.
After Castiel had reassured Dean that if anything happened Gabriel would come and get him while he stayed with Sam, Dean had headed outside to try to contact their father. Gabriel wasn’t sure what he did other than it involved a lot of travel that meant he was away from home a lot. He made a mental note to find out. He vaguely remembered Castiel telling him something about a kindly next door neighbour keeping an eye on them, which kept the social away, the busy woman who owned ‘The Roadhouse’ Gabriel tried to remember her name, Ellie, Elsie, Ellen! That was it.
“So, Cas, how’s things going with you and Dean-o?”
“Very well thank you, but what is it you really want to know. You are not really interested in our relationship.”
“What’s the deal with Sam?”
“Well, in the way I suspect you are asking Sam and Dean have always been very close. As you know John is away a lot so Dean as good as raised Sam. Dean is fiercely protective over him and very proud of how he has turned out. Dean would do anything to anyone for the sake of Sam.”
“So those sons of bitches better watch out then,” Gabriel muttered under his breath and turning said louder to Castiel, “So did you or Dean have any idea this was going on, I mean you did have a tough time at school yourself, you know the signs.”
“Neither of us knew. If he had come to me I would have advised him to tell Dean and helped him to stop them, he must have been too scared to tell anyone. I wish we had noticed but as a classic bullying victim he hid it too well.”
“You were Cas, when Dad found out you said you thought it would make it worse if he tried to help.”
The conversation stopped abruptly when a nurse came in. After telling them they were lucky Gabriel had stopped them when he did, apart from mild concussion, cuts and bruises Sam’s main problem was shock as opposed to what would have happened if he had been left to the bullies, she reassured them Sam was waking up and visitors would do him good.
Sam panicked temporarily as he woke up in unfamiliar surroundings. He took in the white walls and machines linking the wires to his arms and chest and realized where he was. With the realization came the memories and Sam smiled at the thought of the handsome stranger who had saved him but winced when he remembered who he had introduced himself to be and what they must all think of him now they knew. He fiercely brushed away the tears that were threatening to fall and forced his aching body to turn in the bed so he was facing away from the door. When the door opened a few minutes later he tried to pretend he was asleep. “S-Sammy?” He heard Dean call out tentatively 'I know you’re awake Sam, just, please Sam.' When Sam didn’t respond he heard Dean croak 'Sammy, talk to me, please,' Sam turned around and heard Dean gasp at his tear streaked face and said the only thing he could think of ,“Jerk”
He felt a palpable sense of relief when he heard the familiar retort,
“Bitch.”
He felt, rather than heard, Dean slide onto the end of the bed and grab hold of his hand. He kept his eyes lowered away from Dean’s face, not wanting to meet Dean’s eyes, scared of the disappointment he knew he would see there.
“Sammy, I need - can I - why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean blurted out.
“No chick flick moments remember?” Sam retorted, trying to avoid answering the question, he dared a look at Dean and saw hurt flash across his face.
“Please Sammy, talk to me.”
Sam took a deep breath; he couldn’t disappoint his brother a second time, “because, because you would have tried to help and that would have made it worse, and I guess, I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Hesitantly at first, the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. He turned away from Dean, ashamed of having admitted his feelings. Winchesters didn’t do that.
“Why would I be disappointed in you Sam?”
Sam sighed softly, he had started now he might as well finish,
“Because you’re brave and strong and nobody gets away with picking on you. I was weak, I couldn’t deal with it. I-I was,” he remembered the words he had been told earlier “inferior to you.”
“Just tell me this Sam, how long? How long has it been going on?”
“Nearly a year”
“Well I’m guessing from the lack of visible bruising, until today you’ve been fending them off pretty good. You didn’t let them walk all over you and that makes me proud Sam. I could never be disappointed in you; you’re my little sasquatch brother!”
Sam didn’t agree but he didn’t reply, he didn’t want a fight, he was tired. Dean must have noticed because he stood up and said, “you should get some rest, I’ll see you later.”
“Dean, can, can you ask Cas to tell Gabriel thank you, for helping me.”
“Tell him yourself, he’s not left me and Cas since he handed you over to me, it was only by physical restraint from Cas he’s not in here at the moment.”
“Can you send him in Dean? I just want to thank him; I’ll sleep better if I do.” Sam didn’t mention the fact he was worried about what trouble Gabriel could be in.
“Okay but then you need to get some rest okay; your eyes are drooping like a puppy Sam!”
“Promise Dean.”
When Gabriel came in Sam looked at him from his hospital bed with worry clouding his wide eyes.
“What’s up kiddo?”
“You saved me.”
“Well yeah, I wasn’t gonna just let them keep attacking you now was I?”
“I guess, but Gabriel, couldn’t you get into trouble, I mean you did attack Alistair.”
“Yeah and the son of a bitch deserved it. Look I promise you, compared to what they did to you, they all got off lightly.”
“Gabriel, tell me, what’s going to happen?”
“Do you really think they would report me when I could spill my guts to the police about what I saw them doing to you. That would count as GBH Sam, they landed you in hospital. Besides I’m not quite 18 yet so they couldn’t do much anyway. Get some rest kiddo and I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”
“Yeah, alright.”
“And Sam,”
“Yeah?”
“Quit worrying about me, I’m fine.” Chucking a big bag of candy onto Sam’s bed Gabriel quickly left. Sam was left feeling embarrassed as he contemplated all that had happened to him. This new found (dare he say it?) friend had saved him from a terrible fate and as far as he was concerned was akin to Dean. He couldn’t say why but he somehow knew he would be safe now Gabriel was around. He turned onto his side and curled into his bed drifting into the first good sleep he had in years.
When Sam woke up Dean was sat next to his bedside with a worried expression on his face. Sam knew he was worried about what he was going to do with his weakling little brother now. As Dean was too lost in his thoughts to be aware Sam had woken up yet he pretended to still be asleep so he had time to mull his options over. On the one hand he could stick it out with Dean, try to work through this lack of faith in him Dean had developed. On the other hand he could move out, find somewhere else to stay. Dean had done so much for him over the years Sam knew this was one way he could repay him, by getting out of his life. It would kill him to say goodbye to Dean and his nerdy boyfriend and even this mysterious brother, but if it made Dean’s life easier he would be willing to do it. After all, how much had Dean sacrificed for him over the years, and not just the last of the cereal. With his mind made up Sam opened his eyes to face Dean. Unfortunately Dean chose that moment to have a heart to heart.
“Sammy, I need to say this while I can. I am not ashamed of you. I never have been and I never will be. I’m proud of you, you fought so hard, like I know they got you down and shit but those bastards never took the Sam out of my baby brother. You never gave up. You still faced them and you still fought them. Sammy I just wish I could have helped. I wish I could have stopped this happening to you. What I’m trying to say is, I’m ashamed of me for not spotting it sooner. Look i’ll errm go and get you something to eat” Dean spluttered out not quite managing to hide his beetroot red face from Sam as he left. Sam chuckled to himself. He still didn’t quite believe Dean, but maybe Dean hadn’t given up on their relationship either.
Gabriel did go home that night. Despite the teasing from Dean about hanging around he really did feel a sense of responsibility to the kid. He couldn’t explain why, he didn’t do responsibility after all but Gabriel just kept picturing the curled up figure he had saved. He could already tell, however deeply hidden, inside Sam there was a strong person. He was determined to find it. It wasn’t like he had a better way to spend his time. He may even get some company out of it, after all Sam must be excluded like Gabriel when Dean and Castiel got together.
Grabbing a multipack of lollipops and shoving it in a rucksack Gabriel quickly got together what he referred to as his SOS kit. DVD’s, magazines and anything else he could think of to serve as entertainment or a talking point, Sam may be discharged tomorrow, he was only kept in for observation after all, but Gabriel could guarantee Dean would not let Sam go to school for at least another day or two - he had seen Dean’s protective streak with Castiel and he had no doubt its origins were with Sam. That didn’t mean Gabriel was going to let Dean have the time off school. There was no point in Dean or Castiel missing school when he had already graduated and had nothing to do. He might as well be the one to fill Dean’s required Sammy watching while he was at school.
While he would never admit it to anybody Gabriel was lonely. His days were spent watching television, visiting the candy store or crashing the school property to see his kid brother and his kid brother’s boyfriend. He had no qualms in admitting, to himself at least, that it was a very boring way to live your life. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do anything with his life, he did, it was more that he didn’t know what he wanted to do. At the moment however he wanted to be with Sam. He could figure out his future later.
Glad as ever of his baby, Gabriel shoved his rucksack onto the backseat and slid into the front seat. Heading, this time for the hospital, where his new found friend lay. Feeling more relaxed than he had in months now he felt he had a purpose he slid his Asia cassette into the player and tapped the steering wheel as ‘Heat of the Moment’ came on. Little did he realise this song would later become his and Sam’s.
When he arrived back Dean told him Sam was struggling to sleep, a combination of the damn noisy machines and a bit of traumatisation. Their parents had been bemused by his protective behaviour then, assuming it could only be good for Castiel to have such a strong bond. With the close ages in such a big family him and Castiel had always been close and looked out for each other. It was part of the reason Gabriel respected Dean as he saw in him the same protective nature towards his brother (extended to Castiel when they became a couple) as Gabriel had towards Castiel. Ironically Gabriel was now extending that protective nature towards Sam.
“Hey Dean-o, I’ve got an idea to help Sam sleep if you’re interested?”
“Dude he needs his sleep to recover, anything is a help.”
“Well when Cas had his ‘accident’ at school the only thing that helped him sleep was his headphones.”
“That sounds like a good idea Gabe but where am I supposed to get headphones from?!”
“Chill Dean, I was going to offer to let him use mine.”
“I’m sorry Gabriel, really I just, you know. Why don’t you go and give them to him.”
Gabriel did know as it happened. Dean reminded him of how he had been when those jerks at school had attacked Castiel for his geeky appearance. Their parents had been surprised when a few days later the boys had moved out of town. Gabriel had never loved Balthazar as much as he did when Gabriel had suggested threatening the jerks and Balthazar had taken it upon himself to take some of his more threatening looking friends with him. That was why he walked straight into Sam’s room without bothering Dean further. The fact Dean trusted him enough to let him near his baby brother was enough for Gabriel. He understood that Dean was hoping Gabriel would become a friend to Sam (the recent events making it glaringly obvious that was what Sam needed) and ordinarily would have baulked at the idea but there was something about Sam that drew him in further instead of sending him running for the hills.
Gabriel paused when he saw Sam’s form laid out on the bed facing away from him. Taking a moment to admire the clear cut curves of Sam’s body, from the brown hair flopping onto his shapely shoulders to the muscled arms trapping the sheets before shaking himself (the dude could be scared for life thanks to those bastards) and taking the few steps that led him to Sam’s bedside. “Hey kiddo, heard you couldn’t sleep,”
“bit hard with the machines,” Sam mumbled into the bed sheets,
“well I’ve come to help with that. You see when Cas was in the hospital the only thing that helped him sleep in here was his headphones. I thought maybe you might like to borrow mine?” Gabriel blushed. He really had to stop getting embarrassed around Sam, he was Dean’s brother. He couldn’t stop his brain from telling him how insanely attractive he was as well but he tried to ignore that.
“That would be great Gabe, I just wanna sleep and if they helped Cas then its worth a shot” Gabriel’s heart missed a beat as he heard the nickname fall from Sam’s lips. He beamed and when Sam looked at him bemusedly he grinned even more at the sight of those eyes focused on him.
“What?” Sam laughed. It was so wonderful to hear Sam laugh Gabriel lost his train of thought until he saw Sam staring at him.
“Oh, err, you called me Gabe.”
“Well it just seemed fitting; I mean I feel like I know you already from Dean and Cas and then you did save me. Gabriel just seemed so formal when I feel like we’re already friends.” It was Sam’s turn to get embarrassed now.
“We are friends kiddo” Gabriel silently added that there was maybe something else there too. “Come on, move up and I’ll show you what I have on here.” Gabriel knew it might seem inappropriate but apart from being the best way to show Sam the music he craved to close the distance between him and Sam.
Wordlessly Sam moved up and Gabriel joined him on the bed. When he pulled out the player he found Sam laughing next to him.
“I’m sorry, its just, with Cas being your brother I assumed you didn’t know how to use anything modern either.”
“I am nothing like Cas” Gabriel acted offended but before long the two of them were in peals of laughter at anything and everything. It was an infectious sound and made Gabriel laugh harder. Sam found it very amusing when Gabriel starting talking about how hot the nurses were, and how he was certain one of them had starred in a porno.
When Dean poked his head around the door half an hour later he found Sam sleeping curled into Gabriel, resting his head on Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel was also asleep resting his head close to Sam’s. It was such an endearing sight it didn’t even occur to Dean to be offended that Gabriel was practically a stranger to Sam. Gabriel had always been forward and he was harmless. Dean left them sleeping and closed the door on his way out, he needed a hug and he knew just the person to provide it. Of course as he expected Cas was waiting for him in the waiting room.
“How is Sam?”
“Curled up in bed with your brother.”
“Gabriel really does have a soft side, people don’t see it often. He must have taken a liking to your brother.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me, Sam could charm anyone. Now come here, I need a hug.”
“I am sorry Dean, this must be hard for you.”
“Yes but Gabriel is actually making it easier, I suppose as a big brother himself he totally understands me and how to make it easier for me.”
Castiel proceeded to explain to Dean about his own incident of bullying, and how wonderful Gabriel had been. Before they knew it, it was morning and time to wake Sam and Gabriel so Dean could take Sam home. Gabriel offered to help them both but Dean insisted he took Castiel home and made sure he got some sleep. Stating clearly, “you know what he’s like,” Dean was feeling better, despite having had no sleep after his talk with Castiel. He knew Gabriel would be vital having helped Castiel through his experience, but also that Sam would get over this, as Castiel was proof it could be done.Sam stood at the door to his room. It had only been a night since he had last been here, yet so much had changed. Dean knew! Dean knew and didn't judge him! He had a friend. Albeit a few years older, but someone with morals and who liked him for who he was. After the attack Gabriel had given Alistair and crew Sam doubted they would bother him for a long time. Sam pushed open the door to his new hope filled life and shut the door on his anxiety filled life.
After pausing a moment longer in the foot of the doorway, Sam stepped foot into his room. He looked around until his eyes settled on his bookcase. He had been planning to read a book, but found, for the moment, no enthusiasm; instead he rummaged in a drawer until he found a notepad with space left in it. He then sat on his bed and started planning operation Gabriel. The object was, quite simply to get to know Gabriel better. Find a way to thank him for saving him, become friends. However there were a few challenges to overcome. Who would want to spend time with a nerd like him? Well Gabriel apparently judging by the time he had been spending with Sam and the impromptu ‘sleepover’ last night. So, step 1, make himself more appealing. Of course another obstacle was Dean’s protectiveness. Sam knew he meant well but it was highly frustrating at times, like how he wouldn’t let him go back to school. Maybe he could use that to his advantage though. Step 2, get Dean out of the way. He obviously had to gain Gabriel’s interest. From what Sam had seen, apart from his family Gabriel’s true loves were porn and candy. Step 3, attract Gabriel - porn marathon with candy snacks? However on second thoughts, given they hardly knew each other films might be better than porn. He altered his notes and took stock of what he had written.
It would do for now. He didn’t want to over think it or it might become obvious what he was doing. That would be a repellent to Gabriel straight away. He flopped on his bed and picked up his book; reading for 5 minutes before heading downstairs to Dean, to put phase one of his plan into action. However all his plans went completely out his head when he saw a single word written on a piece of paper lying underneath the letterbox. Fag. He was in deep trouble. Hearing Dean opening a door he shoved the paper into his pocket on impulse. He didn’t know why as Dean knew about the bullying now but he didn’t want him to see it.
“Dude, why you standing by the door? You’re like a lost puppy,” Dean called to him.
“No reason, just, thought I heard the mail.”
“Okay” Dean accepted without hesitation, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Do you want to go to the Roadhouse?”
“Sounds good. Let me just, erm, grab a jacket.”
When he got upstairs to his room Sam hid the note under his mattress and grabbed a jacket, he glanced around the room as he was leaving to make sure it was not peeking out and met Dean downstairs. They both froze when Dean turned back to lock the door. Spray painted across the front door was the word nerd.
Sam was staring at the ceiling in his room when Cas arrived. They never had made it to the diner. Sam had hidden in his room and Dean had gone about trying to clean it up. It wasn’t so much that Sam was scared, or even embarrassed but that he was upset it was continuing and had escalated to such a level. He wasn’t stupid, he knew however little, or much he thought of himself he didn’t deserve the bullying. Smiling at the realisation he no longer felt the need to hide from Dean he was about to head downstairs to join him when he heard raised voices. Fortunately they didn’t last long and Sam headed downstairs 5 minutes later. He was met by the anxious face of Cas and the reluctant face of Dean.
“Sammy, me and Cas were talking and we thought, maybe you would like, maybe it would be best if you stayed with him for a while, just till this blows over. If you’re out of the way it is likely to die down quicker.”
Sam took a moment to let it sink in. His overprotective big brother was essentially sending him to stay somewhere else. Sam knew if Dean would entrust him to anyone it would be Cas, but for him to actually do it must mean he was worried. The prospect of a break from the place the bullies knew he lived was appealing, not to mention Castiel’s big brother.
“I guess, I mean obviously I would rather be here but it does kinda make sense.”
As Dean was taking Sam to where Cas and Gabriel were waiting for him in the car Sam noticed egg shell outside the house and decided that this was becoming more acceptable all the time.
The first Gabriel knew about Sam moving in was when Castiel casually asked him for a ride to pick Sam up the next morning. When put under extreme interrogation (which no doubt Castiel intended judging by the sly smile on his lips) Gabriel was told simply, it’s a nice surprise for you dear brother, which, while only serving to make him more eager to know, yielded nothing. Which is how Gabriel came to be like an excited puppy sitting in his car, asking Castiel every minute when Sam would be here.
'Calm down Gabe! He will be here soon. Nobody would believe you only met him a few days ago!'
Castiel laughed. Gabriel pulled a face worthy of Sam's bitchface title before contorting into an almost impossible position to peer out the window, when he saw Sam leaving the apartment with Dean by his side however, if he had a tail you would have been able to hear it thumping the seat with his excitement. He bounded out the car and went to help Sam with his bags.
“Woah, kiddo, what you got in here, an elephant?” Gabriel teased, miming his arms dropping to the ground.
Sam laughed “just essentials really, clothes and stuff, but i have got a few textbooks in there so i don’t fall behind.”
“Yeah he’s got me carrying his laptop” Dean grinned. Gabriel knew he didn’t mind really, Dean would do anything for his little brother. Besides, he was more interested in what Sam had said. Clothes, textbooks ‘essentials’ and he was carrying his suitcase. That could only mean he was moving in! He glared at Castiel for not telling him but couldn’t keep the grin off his face for long enough for it to do more than make Castiel laugh.
“Come on kiddo, let’s get you moved in” Gabriel spoke when he could keep the overwhelming excitement out of his voice. “Want to come for a coffee, help him settle in for a bit Dean-O, not that you need an invite of course, anybody would think you lived there the amount you’re over. Now you have Sam to look out for.” Gabriel rambled. So much for keeping the excitement hidden. He silently cursed himself, but tried harder to keep himself in check. He didn’t want to scare Sam away after all.
After they all loaded into the car - Sam riding shotgun, Gabriel asked everyone if they wanted a lollipop. Only Sam accepted, a fact that made Gabriel smile. While they were all talking about the uncharictaristically hot weather and such Gabriel let his mind wander to thoughts of him, Sam and an empty house. This was going really well for him and the others who didn’t notice Gabriel wasn’t listening. Unfortunately five minutes away from home Gabriel was brought to his senses by hearing the other occupants of the car screaming at him. When he looked down at his speedo he found he was doing way over the speed limit and was swerving all over the road. He slammed on his brakes till he found a more acceptable speed and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He hadn’t even swerved like that before he passed his test, let alone speeding, sure he liked a bit of speed but not at the risk of a ticket. He was shaken but managed to stammer out an apology. The rest of the journey was fairly quiet. Everyone could see Gabriel was shaken up by his erratic driving and it had shaken everyone else up too. Gabriel felt ashamed when he saw the other occupants had gone every range of color from white to green. As a result as soon as he had pulled into a parking space and muttered out an apology to the others he had headed straight to the living room to hide and mull things over. Sam went upstairs to settle in and the others went to help him.
Gabriel was lying in his usual position on the couch by the TV, bag of mike and ikes in one hand, remote in the other. Dr Sexy MD, Gabriel’s favorite of all awful daytime t.v. was on, but Gabriel wasn’t really paying attention, he was listening to Sam moving around upstairs, especially when he heard the familiar creak of the top step and Sam’s tentative footsteps.
When Sam entered the room however he laughed. Gabriel looked 5 parts embarrassed and 1 part offended, but smiled when Sam had the good grace to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry” he stammered.
“Sam I don’t care, I just want to know what was so funny.”
“It’s just, well Dean watches that show all the time and thinks I don’t notice, and then you’re here watching it so blatently”
To Sam’s obvious relief Gabriel laughed too. When Gabriel saw Sam smile he decided that was all he ever wanted, was to see that smile every day and to know he was the one who put it there.
“Ahh but does he have the box-set?”
“Does anyone?” Sam retorted before looking embarrassed.
“True, I certainly don’t! So anyway, what do you fancy doing tonight kiddo? I see Castiel has gone back to yours so it’s just the 2 of us. I can do popcorn a la Gabriel and a film, crappy tv or the best salad you have ever tasted in your life, with great conversation provided by yours truly”
“You would do that for me? Sam said, only half joking, disbelieving Gabriel would want to spend the afternoon with him.
“Dude, do you really want me to talk to myself?”
“First sign of madness” Sam quipped, blushing. Gabriel smiled encouraging; reassuring Sam he wasn’t going to take offence or beat him senseless over a joke.
“But was I ever sane Sammy boy?” he retorted, causing Sam to smile in spite of himself, allowing himself to relax just slightly. Gabriel smiled, took this as a positive sign and continued. “I mean, nobody in their right mind chooses to watch Dr Sexy, right?”
Sam just smiled in response.
“So anyway, are those options so repulsive to you that it’s so hard to choose?” Gabriel laughed
“Well, is it okay if,”
“Let me stop you there kiddo, anything goes here, no is it okay, everything is okay. You could run around naked declaring your undying love for George Bush and it would be okay. I may even join you, so go on, what do you want to do? We can even paint each other’s nails if you like?”
This had the desired response as Sam giggled and opened his mouth to speak “Can we.” At a warning look from Gabriel he started again. “I want to watch t.v. with popcorn” he blurted, looking immensely relieved when Gabriel appeared to consider this and nodded thoughtfully.
“Good choice Sammy, very good choice. Nothing better to bond over than crappy t.v. and amazing popcorn. Have a look what you fancy and I’ll go make the popcorn. After a few hours of leisurely company and crappy t.v. Sam left to return a book to the library before it shut, which made sense to Gabriel as it was due back today, with the unexpected hospital visit he guessed Sam hadn’t had time to return it earlier. He had offered Sam a lift but Sam had said he wanted to stretch his legs. He was a strange kid, into salad and exercise, the exact opposite of Gabriel, but they could work with that. He was only gone about half an hour when Gabriel heard him open the front door and subsequently forced himself to relax on the sofa so that when Gabriel heard Sam enter the living room he was curled up on the couch, a picture of contentedness - which of course he was now Sam was here, although he could practically hear Sam worrying at his bottom lip, not to mention he could feel Sam's eyes boring into him. 'Take a seat kiddo, make yourself at home - candy's in the kitchen.' Sam laughed at this 'Gabriel, not everyone's staple diet is candy' Gabriel feigned innocence as he replied 'seriously, but how can they function then?' With a megabag of chocolate coated toffee popcorn, supplemented with starburst packets between them (of which Gabriel ate the lions share, he may have got more response with a salad) a couch each to sprawl on and back to back episodes of the nutcracker they both had a wonderful night. Gabriel relished the company, someone to swap jokes with and someone to share his amusement, although Sam did wince quite a bit at the show. A very articulate, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous someone being the someone made it all the better. As Sam was heading towards the door to go to bed however he caught his foot on a leg of the coffee table the drinks and snacks were resting on. Them, and more importantly Sam went flying as Gabriel looked on with horror. As soon as he was off the sofa he was by Sam's side and was upset to see tears rolling down Sam's face 'Sam, where are you hurt?' Gabriel panicked. 'm' not jus' little bruised 's all.' then Gabriel realized. 'Show me' he breathed, far from wanting to see them, Gabriel wished they had never even been there but he felt Sam needed to do this and he needed to make sure it really was just bruising. Wordlessly Sam lifted his shirt up to reveal a multicolored chest. Red cuts, purple green and yellow bruising and patches of unharmed skin. Gabriel understood why it had hurt to land on that. He couldn't see any obvious injuries from Sam's fall and felt Sam had been subjected to enough embarrassment for at least as long as there were no signs of injury. Far from subsiding however Sam's sobs were becoming uncontrollable. Without even thinking Gabriel opened his arms and held Sam. When the sobs finally did start to subside Gabriel spoke. 'What is it, tell me' Sam took a minuet long composing himself before sitting up and replying, fiddling with his shirt cuffs he spoke. 'it’s just, I've had such a wonderful night and i know it’s just because you feel sorry for me because it’s not going to be my personality or my company but it’s been the first time I've enjoyed myself completely in such a long time and i had to go and ruin it by being clumsy.'
Gabriel sighed gently, not upset with Sam but at the bullies who had done this too him. “Look Sam, first off it was an accident, the coffee table was in the way, no big deal, you didn’t ruin anything. Secondly i know it’s hard to see right now but you’re actually good company. You’re smart, brave and loads more. I know school is tough but people are scared to get to know you better because of those jerks. Think of Dean, do you really think he would put all that effort into looking after you if you weren’t worth it? Cas, do you think he would have invited you to move it? And me. I - I - I really like you Sam.” Gabriel sighed, frustrated at his uncharacteristic inability to say how he really felt. Sam didn’t seem to care however. He murmured thanks before snuggling closer into Gabriel’s embrace, his words obviously having done the trick. Within minutes he was asleep in what Gabriel suspected was the most comfortable nights sleep Sam had had in months. Gabriel let himself succumb to sleep too, right there on the hard floor, yet it seemed like the only place to be, because of the friend in his arms.
When Gabriel woke up to the third morning of Sam’s indefinite stay he found he was smiling. He couldn’t think why but he didn’t care why either. He decided he didn’t smile enough and made an impulsive decision to smile more often. He decided he would go downstairs and surprise Sam with breakfast in bed as he felt in the mood to whip up a sumptuous culinary treat, or pancakes. His plan was slightly thwarted however when he heard Sam moving around upstairs, he went to the bottom of the stairs to head Sam off back to bed when he saw Sam at the top. He started walking up the stairs and opened his mouth to say something when he saw Sam miss his footing a few stairs from the top.
Gabriel caught Sam as he tripped and consequently felt every inch of Sam as it pressed against him as they fell together to the floor Gabriel cushioning the blow for Sam, despite the height difference. As it had only been a few steps up for Gabriel and Sam’s fall had been cushioned by Gabriel (not to mention his bruises were healing) neither of them were hurt and just lay there, Sam on top of Gabriel in stunned silence for a minute, a fact, if Gabriel had had his awareness present he would have been delighted with, Sam feeling so comfortable with him, soon however, the desire to press in closer was immense and it took all his willpower to resist. Sam however obviously felt the same way as Gabriel saw the apprehension in Sam’s eyes as he lifted those strong arms to cup Gabriel’s cheek. Slowly, giving Gabriel all the time in the world to pull away he pressed his mouth towards Gabriel’s. Far from resisting Gabriel pushed into the kiss, tasting Sam for the hopefully first of many times. Sam’s confidence was obviously encouraged by this as Gabriel felt him asking for entrance which Gabriel gladly gave. Tentative at first as the seconds passed they enthusiastically explored the others mouth. It was the most amazing feeling and as they both came up for air the sight of Sam’s swollen red lips made Gabriel press in for more. 'Go out with me Gabe?' Sam panted as they next drew air, Gabriel responded by pulling Sam closer towards him embracing him. This was by far the best request he had ever had and he might just be falling for the kid who had asked him. Obviously his answer was yes and he felt a rush of delight at the trust Sam had developed for him, especially when he saw the relief and happiness emanating from Sam. Scrap the might be, he was falling for Sam and he didn’t care one little bit. Together they fell to the couch and explored each other. Nothing sexual, apart from being far too early in their relationship Sam was still far too delicate mentally for that and Gabriel wasn’t sure, for all his love of porn and Sam, that he was ready to go to that level yet anyway. Neither of them minded though and were both content with the new step in their relationship. “Thanks Gabe.” Sam murmured softly.
“For what?” Gabriel asked, genuinely confused.
“For saving me. My guardian angel.” Sam replied and by the time Gabriel had forced his emotions down enough to respond Sam was asleep.
As they lay curled up together on the couch Gabriel realised that for all Sam had only been here for a few days, even whilst he was alone he had not felt lonely. He had a feeling he would never feel the same gnawing loneliness now Sam was in his life. They both needed each other to remove deep set pain and they both were the perfect salves to each other. Things were not perfect. Sam’s self confidence was still very fragile, Gabriel would still feel lonely when Sam went back to school, but with their new relationship and the support of their brothers, they would work it out. Things would be fantastic Gabriel thought as he let his arm drop around the sleeping figure of Sam. Things were going to be just fine. He didn’t have to confront his loneliness after all. Sam had saved him from that.