In Your Eyes
Yesterday I woke up at 6:40 anxious and anticipating an exam in accoutning. I had promised a new attitude, and it even worked for a little while. When I got to school, I took my exam and then had no ride so walked over to the computer lab in the union and sat around bsin' on the computer for a little while. It was at this point, that I started doing what I've had trouble stopping myself from doing. I went on and checked out Cathy's facebook, my space and aim profile. I can't seem to help it. Well, after that, I walked over to Shawn's place from school, but unfortunately, he lives next to Cathy...
Now, while walking over, all I could think about was stopping and seeing her. But I knew if I was going to win her back, I had to do someting special. Well, the first thing I thought of, was the movie "Say Anything". For those of you have seen it, there is a part when the main character holds up a speaker box playing the song in your eyes, and it was at that point her won her back. Well, I grabbed 3 stones on the way over to her house, and got my paper out of my bag... On the paper in big letters I wrote, "IN YOUR EYES," and then threw the rocks at her window to get her to see it. I held it up, looked at her for a minute, and then signaled, "i love you." She looked at me for a second, her lip trembled and she waved me upstairs. When I got up to her appartment, I gave her a hug, and it was the warmest, most beautiful feeling I can remember in a long time. She is everything, err, was everything I could ever hope to have. I talked to her and tried one last time to win her back, but after giving me the warmest, most loving hug, when the conversation turned back to her, she'd slowly pull away and put her hands in front of her to keep me from hugging her. There was a part of her that wanted me, but the other part won out.
"It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to Eric," she said.
"Eric? Who cares?" I said.
But even though she conceded she didn't love him, she said she was happier with him than she had been with me in a long time, and reminded me that she didn't love me like that any more. So I cried harder after that goodbye than I had in a long time. I feel so cheated after the last relationship. So cheated... All of a sudden, she just picks up and moves on...
So anyways, I went over to Shawn's 19th birthday party sobbing (4 hours early), and sat and chatted with him. With him was also Morgan and Kat. Now, Kat I hadn't met before, but apparently she liked me. We ended up going out to get alcohol for the party and it led to her coming over to my house. Nothing really happened, but we sat and chatted for a while and then she kissed me. After getting back for the party, and come 3am, she came back to my place and we held each other, chatted and just enjoyed each other's company before she left. It was really nice, and it was the cuddle time I needed. I needed that more than anything else I could've gotten. It was pretty wild though, because her name was Kat, and I met her while sobbing over Cat, and they had the same birthday... lol
Now anyways, she lives in Tampa, so nothing more is really going to come of it. Still single, still looking for love... But she was the medicine I needed last night. In an hour I already had someone remind me that I will find someone else and that other people are and will be interested. This is my chance to find someone and show them a romantic side that I'm going to be proud to display. I can't wait to work at love again... I still hurt, but last night was great... I just hope Shawn isn't mad. I kinda stole his friend who drove 2 hours down from Tampa for his birthday. Anyways...
I woke up with thoughts of Cathy today, but it was dulled a bit today. I have hurt, but I have hope...
Now, while walking over, all I could think about was stopping and seeing her. But I knew if I was going to win her back, I had to do someting special. Well, the first thing I thought of, was the movie "Say Anything". For those of you have seen it, there is a part when the main character holds up a speaker box playing the song in your eyes, and it was at that point her won her back. Well, I grabbed 3 stones on the way over to her house, and got my paper out of my bag... On the paper in big letters I wrote, "IN YOUR EYES," and then threw the rocks at her window to get her to see it. I held it up, looked at her for a minute, and then signaled, "i love you." She looked at me for a second, her lip trembled and she waved me upstairs. When I got up to her appartment, I gave her a hug, and it was the warmest, most beautiful feeling I can remember in a long time. She is everything, err, was everything I could ever hope to have. I talked to her and tried one last time to win her back, but after giving me the warmest, most loving hug, when the conversation turned back to her, she'd slowly pull away and put her hands in front of her to keep me from hugging her. There was a part of her that wanted me, but the other part won out.
"It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to Eric," she said.
"Eric? Who cares?" I said.
But even though she conceded she didn't love him, she said she was happier with him than she had been with me in a long time, and reminded me that she didn't love me like that any more. So I cried harder after that goodbye than I had in a long time. I feel so cheated after the last relationship. So cheated... All of a sudden, she just picks up and moves on...
So anyways, I went over to Shawn's 19th birthday party sobbing (4 hours early), and sat and chatted with him. With him was also Morgan and Kat. Now, Kat I hadn't met before, but apparently she liked me. We ended up going out to get alcohol for the party and it led to her coming over to my house. Nothing really happened, but we sat and chatted for a while and then she kissed me. After getting back for the party, and come 3am, she came back to my place and we held each other, chatted and just enjoyed each other's company before she left. It was really nice, and it was the cuddle time I needed. I needed that more than anything else I could've gotten. It was pretty wild though, because her name was Kat, and I met her while sobbing over Cat, and they had the same birthday... lol
Now anyways, she lives in Tampa, so nothing more is really going to come of it. Still single, still looking for love... But she was the medicine I needed last night. In an hour I already had someone remind me that I will find someone else and that other people are and will be interested. This is my chance to find someone and show them a romantic side that I'm going to be proud to display. I can't wait to work at love again... I still hurt, but last night was great... I just hope Shawn isn't mad. I kinda stole his friend who drove 2 hours down from Tampa for his birthday. Anyways...
I woke up with thoughts of Cathy today, but it was dulled a bit today. I have hurt, but I have hope...