Rage Rant
I just despise how some people take education for granted.
Like, your parents are slaving themselves over just to pay your freaking tuition fees. The least you can do to pay them back is to study hard and get a decent job.
It gets better when they are unable to finish their studies just 'cause they value hanging out with friends and partying over reviewing notes and spending some time in the library. Then, if they meet a person who has a better job than them in the future, they rant about how unfair life is. They complain about how lucky some people are, how privileged they are for having a degree and a high-paying job. Fuck, you could have had that life too, you asshole, if you've just set your life straight back then. Fuck you.
Seriously. I am so tired of being around this kind of people. If I could just stay far far away from them, I would. I seriously want to get my own place. Just to be away from them. But when I think of my siblings and what their lives would be if I leave, I back down and forget any thoughts on leaving. If I could only support them on my own, I would find my own place and take them with me. Right now, I'm really working hard to build a proper foundation for my family. My parents weren't able to do it for us, so I just have to do it on my own.
I'm not complaining for not being well-off. I have learned to deal with it. I have worked my ass off from elementary to college. I got scholarships and donors just to keep the burden of school fees off my parent's backs. That's why it really hurts me that some of my family members would call me useless behind my back. That I was just lazing around the house doing nothing on my off days.
I wake up at 4:30 am from Mondays to Fridays just to get to work before 8:00 am. If I leave later than that, I would get stuck in traffic, be late for work and get deductions in my paycheck. My everyday workload is heavy and my salary doesn't do it any justice but you don't see me complaining. Because, at least my salary is still higher than them. Because at least I have a decent work, unlike them. Most of the time, I get to leave the office around 6:00 pm. And because of the traffic again, I come home at around 9:00 am. If you have never seen the traffic in Manila, consider yourself blessed. I wouldn't wish anyone else to experience it. Even my enemies. My 30-minute commute from the office becomes a 3-hour ride. What's worse is if you are squeezed in a 12-seater van with 18 other passengers. It will really stress you out.
So, can you really blame me if I sleep in on a weekend? Note: by sleeping in, what I mean is waking up at 7:00 am in the morning or later. Because according to my family's standards, you are oversleeping if you can't wake up before 6:00. And this is during the weekends, if you have forgotten. They tell me that I don't do enough chores. Fuck, I help my mom with the laundry, I fold the clothes after. I wash the dishes, my sister and I help each other in preparing food. I buy the dogs their food, I feed them, I give them baths. Well, okay. They are the ones who clean the house (our house is small so it doesn't take too much time), and they went with my grandpa to the market to help him shop (this is a one-time thing tbh 'cause it's really my mom who was always with him during the weekend). After that, they lock themselves up in their room for the whole day. I don't even see their children doing anything helpful. And the day after that. Fuck, I pay bills. My mom chips in for food and water. My grandpa pays the electricity. I have never seen them shell out money except for when they have to buy something for themselves.
Does it really hurt them to give me any time to rest? Can't I even get a single day to rest and recuperate? I'm tired. I'm really tired. I have enough troubles in life and I really don't want them to add to it. If they're really part of the family, they wouldn't do this to me or my siblings. We don't deserve to be called "useless" and other hurtful things. Sometimes, I curse how family-oriented Asians are. On one hand, it could help you a lot to have strong familial ties but on the other, it can also bite you back in the ass.
I know I'm gonna regret posting this. I really don't like dissing family. I might even delete it sometime in the future. But at the moment, I'll keep it here. I'm this close to blowing up so I just need to get this out of my chest somehow.