Here I've Swam Before
The motions:
Work. Class. Friends. Sleep. Work. Freelance. Sleep. Work. Family. Work. Professional obligation. Sleep. Work. Professional obligation. Friends. Read. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Work.
Things I am doing instead of sleeping more:
Weed. (What am I numbing?) Watching mindless television. Watching stupid movies. (Dear Dario Argento, really?) Reading about great food while eating garbage. (One will stomach so much mediocre writing if the author writes from personal experience.)
Things I should be doing:
Eating well, sleeping well, spending enough time with dogs, getting more organized, working on an icon set, redesigning my website, updating my resume and various professional profiles, building Rachel's website, building an application to catalog my records, learning Ruby, listening to my records, making mixes for the last several months, incorporating my nerd group, writing to my great aunt, visiting my Mom's sister, studying mobile human factors, working out, painting the rest of my apartment, installing all the Ikea hardware I bought, taking that AJAX class, reading contemporary American literature, watching good films, more freelance, getting on some type of fucking schedule.
What I am doing but don't want to be:
Being incredibly patient with my two clueless, borderline vegetable students. The work of two jobs because I don't trust anyone else to get it done right.
What I secretly want:
To become the kind of person that gets up at 5 or 6 in the morning every day and goes to bed early. The rest of my life is in conflict with this. I want to work out in the morning but I can't commit to blow drying my hair daily.
What I'm going to do instead of this:
Rub my dog's belly while she makes cute pig noises.
Work. Class. Friends. Sleep. Work. Freelance. Sleep. Work. Family. Work. Professional obligation. Sleep. Work. Professional obligation. Friends. Read. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Work.
Things I am doing instead of sleeping more:
Weed. (What am I numbing?) Watching mindless television. Watching stupid movies. (Dear Dario Argento, really?) Reading about great food while eating garbage. (One will stomach so much mediocre writing if the author writes from personal experience.)
Things I should be doing:
Eating well, sleeping well, spending enough time with dogs, getting more organized, working on an icon set, redesigning my website, updating my resume and various professional profiles, building Rachel's website, building an application to catalog my records, learning Ruby, listening to my records, making mixes for the last several months, incorporating my nerd group, writing to my great aunt, visiting my Mom's sister, studying mobile human factors, working out, painting the rest of my apartment, installing all the Ikea hardware I bought, taking that AJAX class, reading contemporary American literature, watching good films, more freelance, getting on some type of fucking schedule.
What I am doing but don't want to be:
Being incredibly patient with my two clueless, borderline vegetable students. The work of two jobs because I don't trust anyone else to get it done right.
What I secretly want:
To become the kind of person that gets up at 5 or 6 in the morning every day and goes to bed early. The rest of my life is in conflict with this. I want to work out in the morning but I can't commit to blow drying my hair daily.
What I'm going to do instead of this:
Rub my dog's belly while she makes cute pig noises.