(no subject)
I've only once ever visited the grave of someone I once knew.
When I don't know what to write, I write what I know so here it goes
(incomplete and grammatically incorrect)
* * * * * * *
My steps lurched as I plodded through the ankle deep grass, sake sloshing in the bottle hanging between my lax fingers. The small bottle was just over a third empty and my inebriation had only reached the point of a warm, comfortable buzz. But the remaining pungent liquid murmured promisingly against the green glass as I searched for my chosen drinking partner amongst the many solumn others gathered under the stars.
Despite all that had happened earlier that day, I couldn't help the crooked smile that broke over my face when I finally spotted him. My meandering steps quickened in my eagerness, though I kept enough sense to maintain my grip on the two small cups pincered in my other hand.
"Hey," I stopped a few steps away, bottle held slightly in front of me like it was a gift of truce, as if it would validate my being there. "Mind if I sit?"
He made no move to acknowledge me, but I hadn't expected him to so I took a spot on the grass beside him anyways. I set the tiny cups in front of me and filled them both generously.
"I know," I sighed, setting aside the bottle for now, "I shouldn't be here. But what can I say? It got lonely drinking all by myself." I placed one cup in front of him, nestling it between the serrated green blades so it wouldn't tip. He looked towards the cup but still refused to turn his eyes towards me. I snorted at this blatant disregard. "Then again, maybe I should have just stayed at home. Not like you're going to be much company." I threw my head back and emptied the cup, not waiting for him to do the same.
I pulled the bottle towards me again, shaking my head at him. "This silent treatment is really getting old. How long do you think you can keep that up until you crack? Knowing you, I'd say about, erm..." the replenished contents of my cup splashed onto my fingers as I waved it around in contemplation, "... half a day?"
But still, not a word as I downed another mouthful. His eyes were stubbornly trained straight ahead. His cup of sake lay undisturbed in the grass.
As the most recent burn of alcohol slowly faded from my throat, my cheery air dissipated with it. "Look," my lips suddenly felt thick and unwilling as I tried to speak. "I... I deserve it. Heck, I deserve a lot worse. What happened that- that last time... it was my fault. I should have said it this morning, but... I guess that makes me twice the coward."
I turned my head to look at him, barely making out the youthful slants of his face from this angle. He still wasn't looking at me, but that was my doing as well. I had avoided his steady gaze when I chose to sit here. Leaning on my palms, I pushed myself up. Hand in pocket, I stood and faced him. He didn't turn his eyes away, just returned my gaze with a cool composure I was finding harder and harder to reciprocate.
"It was my fault. I'm sorry," the empty cup still grasped between my fingers clinked lightly as salty drops fell against it's smooth glaze. "I said it. You happy now?" He just looked up at me with those unfazed eyes. Dipping down, I picked up the still full cup at my feet. Extending my arm, I overturned the small vessel, letting a thin stream of sake flow over the brim until empty.
"There," I said as I shook the cup, ridding it of remnant drops. "Now you have nothing left holding you back, so get out of here." He smiled at me as the dark trail of sake sank into the fresh dirt of the burial mound. Eventually, his family would come and remove the thick framed photo. Soon after, his grave would be blanketed in thick layers of yellowing grass and become almost indistinguishable from the many others lining the field.
(needs an ending)
When I don't know what to write, I write what I know so here it goes
(incomplete and grammatically incorrect)
* * * * * * *
My steps lurched as I plodded through the ankle deep grass, sake sloshing in the bottle hanging between my lax fingers. The small bottle was just over a third empty and my inebriation had only reached the point of a warm, comfortable buzz. But the remaining pungent liquid murmured promisingly against the green glass as I searched for my chosen drinking partner amongst the many solumn others gathered under the stars.
Despite all that had happened earlier that day, I couldn't help the crooked smile that broke over my face when I finally spotted him. My meandering steps quickened in my eagerness, though I kept enough sense to maintain my grip on the two small cups pincered in my other hand.
"Hey," I stopped a few steps away, bottle held slightly in front of me like it was a gift of truce, as if it would validate my being there. "Mind if I sit?"
He made no move to acknowledge me, but I hadn't expected him to so I took a spot on the grass beside him anyways. I set the tiny cups in front of me and filled them both generously.
"I know," I sighed, setting aside the bottle for now, "I shouldn't be here. But what can I say? It got lonely drinking all by myself." I placed one cup in front of him, nestling it between the serrated green blades so it wouldn't tip. He looked towards the cup but still refused to turn his eyes towards me. I snorted at this blatant disregard. "Then again, maybe I should have just stayed at home. Not like you're going to be much company." I threw my head back and emptied the cup, not waiting for him to do the same.
I pulled the bottle towards me again, shaking my head at him. "This silent treatment is really getting old. How long do you think you can keep that up until you crack? Knowing you, I'd say about, erm..." the replenished contents of my cup splashed onto my fingers as I waved it around in contemplation, "... half a day?"
But still, not a word as I downed another mouthful. His eyes were stubbornly trained straight ahead. His cup of sake lay undisturbed in the grass.
As the most recent burn of alcohol slowly faded from my throat, my cheery air dissipated with it. "Look," my lips suddenly felt thick and unwilling as I tried to speak. "I... I deserve it. Heck, I deserve a lot worse. What happened that- that last time... it was my fault. I should have said it this morning, but... I guess that makes me twice the coward."
I turned my head to look at him, barely making out the youthful slants of his face from this angle. He still wasn't looking at me, but that was my doing as well. I had avoided his steady gaze when I chose to sit here. Leaning on my palms, I pushed myself up. Hand in pocket, I stood and faced him. He didn't turn his eyes away, just returned my gaze with a cool composure I was finding harder and harder to reciprocate.
"It was my fault. I'm sorry," the empty cup still grasped between my fingers clinked lightly as salty drops fell against it's smooth glaze. "I said it. You happy now?" He just looked up at me with those unfazed eyes. Dipping down, I picked up the still full cup at my feet. Extending my arm, I overturned the small vessel, letting a thin stream of sake flow over the brim until empty.
"There," I said as I shook the cup, ridding it of remnant drops. "Now you have nothing left holding you back, so get out of here." He smiled at me as the dark trail of sake sank into the fresh dirt of the burial mound. Eventually, his family would come and remove the thick framed photo. Soon after, his grave would be blanketed in thick layers of yellowing grass and become almost indistinguishable from the many others lining the field.
(needs an ending)