Contemplations...
Why is that every time I start feeling really good about things everything just falls apart again? I'm hoping that doesn't happen this time, although it seems that it already may be starting. School's doing alright I guess...Spring Break is coming up, only three and a half more school days. Chicago will be fun...just as soon as we find "a reliable car" to take us there.
I've been feeling kinda depressed again lately. I don't know what it is exactly. I think it's the pressure though. It's starting to come back again. The second I start to really care about my schoolwork again and now it seems as if that just makes it so much worse. All of a sudden there's the return of the feeling that I have to be the best at everything. Really, is that possible? Nope. Softball's starting...today's the first practice, and it seems as though Coach is already pissed off at me again. Why? Because he decided to call a practice for this Saturday and I already have a commitment on that day. That sucks, cuz I can't be in two places at once and I don't understand how he can expect me to give up on my life because he decided he wants to hold one Saturday practice. I think he was actually starting to like me too...damn.
Then there's bowling. U guys probably already know that the state finals went horribly bad for me. I'm still depressed about that. I can't believe that I've worked so hard all year just to have a horrible showing. That may have single-handedly fucked up my plans for college, especially considering I heard that there was a recruiter from Texas who was there looking for some girl from Sterling Heights...possibly offering a full-ride. Of course, I don't want to go to Texas anyway.
I'm so confused right now about everything. There's not even one thing that I can really pinpoint this on, but it's really annoying. I really couldn't care less than to go home everyday after school and sleep or veg in front of the TV.
Help!
~Chrissy
I've been feeling kinda depressed again lately. I don't know what it is exactly. I think it's the pressure though. It's starting to come back again. The second I start to really care about my schoolwork again and now it seems as if that just makes it so much worse. All of a sudden there's the return of the feeling that I have to be the best at everything. Really, is that possible? Nope. Softball's starting...today's the first practice, and it seems as though Coach is already pissed off at me again. Why? Because he decided to call a practice for this Saturday and I already have a commitment on that day. That sucks, cuz I can't be in two places at once and I don't understand how he can expect me to give up on my life because he decided he wants to hold one Saturday practice. I think he was actually starting to like me too...damn.
Then there's bowling. U guys probably already know that the state finals went horribly bad for me. I'm still depressed about that. I can't believe that I've worked so hard all year just to have a horrible showing. That may have single-handedly fucked up my plans for college, especially considering I heard that there was a recruiter from Texas who was there looking for some girl from Sterling Heights...possibly offering a full-ride. Of course, I don't want to go to Texas anyway.
I'm so confused right now about everything. There's not even one thing that I can really pinpoint this on, but it's really annoying. I really couldn't care less than to go home everyday after school and sleep or veg in front of the TV.
Help!
~Chrissy